hm... I see, I didn't get that your text was supposed to be a joke as well and mistook it for p.c.

I got the part with the r's and l's (over here in germany the common stereotype is that they make r's to l's and not the other way round though), but thought you were saying I was offending chinese people by using that same mistake pattern (although it is a coincidence)

well, I guess when sth. I say is called "racist" then I can't help feeling offended and any kind of joke is lost on me

And beating wives and children hasn't happened since, oh I don't know, recorded history? If anything, the numbers are much more clear nowadays and information is much more available. And wife/kids beatings have much more factors than just alcohol. Social factors, education factors, misogeny factors. 

And that pornography thing doesn't make any sense whatsoever. By that logic, any male couldn't even go outside his house, because anywhere you go you can see beautiful girls. Going to the beach should be forbidden then, or perhaps maybe we should all wear burkas or full snuggies while we're in there? If you love your wife/lover/girlfriend/companion, those feelings won't go away just because you look at someone else, whether they're fully clothed or naked.
We're not irrational animals that just go with what our mating instincts tells us to do, there's a little something called rational thinking and feelings as well. 

Hmm... there is a fund raising idea in there somewhere... Snuggies for Santorum.

You can get a Santorum Snuggie by donating money to his campaign.  If Weezer can have a Snuggie, so can Santorum: