Lemme try for him.

Penny-Arcade are well within their rights and are free to say whatever they like as are the rest of us. There is certainly no legal or even ethnical dispute in all of this. But frankly their trio of idiots engaging in a pissing match with another set of idiots. They also seem to be delusional in that they think their particular nerdy website is on some sort authoritative high ground compared to other nerdy websites, when in fact it’s probably closer to the other way around. And that one of them is just immaturely lashing out at the people who disagree with him in familiar forum flame war style as opposed to try to create reasonable counter points or rebuttals to what he thinks is poor call.

Funny thing is he accused reviewers (who score the game low) of rushing through the game. In my experience, the opposite is probably true. I did all the investigation missions, saved the citizens, even coped a map from a player guide to hunt down all the damn flags. Every citizen, every investigation mission of the same type are generally identical. Every damn fight went the same, and since I saved all the citizens, that was a lot of fighting. Everyone in the game fights the same, you’re only variation being archers, who become regular guards when you get close. They may have different amounts of hit points, or use certain cheap attacks more often, but that’s it. Had I just gotten to the actual assassinations as quickly as I could, I probably would have liked the game more as there the only highpoint in the game play for me.

I’d suspect IGN probably spent a lot of time playing it. 1UP’s review was actually a lot more positive than IGN’s despite having a lower score. The reviewer admits to about half way through the game he started only doing the minimum amount of missions needed to get to the Assassination.

Funnier thing is the big deal Gabe made about “Visions of the future” and how you can’t talk shit about the ending unless that achievement is in your GamerTag. (PS3’s owner need not apply?) Well I got the damn achievement and I say it made the ending even worse. POSSIBLE SPOILERS: After being mostly vague and mysterious in the non-Altair segments you’re rewarded after the credits with a bunch of crazy crap written on the walls and floor, and a bunch of e-mails that declare a lot of tinfoil hat conspiracies come true in the future in some last minute attempt to make the game’s storyline relevant after seemingly spending the rest of the game doing the opposite.

In closing I think Birdman was trying to say Penny-Arcade (or is it just Gabe?) is really in no more of a position to pass judgment on a game then IGN or anyone else, and they’re frankly just crazy to think they some how out nerd rank IGN and that their opinions are any less meaningless than other reviewers. They are however perfectly in their rights to be as crazy and dickish as they like. If that what you were trying to say Birdman?

DISCLAIMER: The above is all just one crazy internet nerd’s rambling, and is in no way to be taken any more seriously than any other internet bound rambling. 

I just find what both of them did childish, IGN can say whatever the hell they wanna say and Gabe can too, why attack each other?

The game is obviously very divisive as you can see from the reviews (everything from 5s to 10s). I'm playing it now and am loving it, but I can definitely see where the complaints are coming from.

They were mocking parts of the game on the last EGM podcast and I found myself laughing at some of the stupid stuff because it was so true, even though I like the game.

When I was playing today I ran into an insanely stupid mission to the point that it was laughable, a child could have come up with something better. An informer told me he had lost some flags (yes flags) and that I had to find them, but for some odd reason they were all 'lost' in a perfect pattern and I had to get 'em all in 3 minutes (there was a timer).... are you fuckin' kidding me? If I didn't like the game that much I would have immediately returned the game right there cause that part was just insultingly bad.

Sorry had to continue in a second post. That part was like when at the movies, something is so damn awful that you want to leave instead of getting your money's worth.

I find it pretty shocking that PA who mocked the hat throwing bits in Heavenly Sword (if you played it you know) did not see this as much more convoluted to the point of absurdity even by video game standards and especially for a game that takes itself seriously like Assassin's Creed.

I think that Gabe was being an asshole when he presumed to say that 'certain reviewers' hadn't finished the game and is wrong when he claims that a revelation-fest secret ending somehow adds metric tons of meaning to the game.  Being an asshole isn't exactly foreign territory to any of the PA guys.  

HOWEVER

That guy on IGN had a complete meltdown about it.  (43:06 in, 18:30 from the end)  He went on a tirade, resorting to personal attacks and ridiculing Gabe's profession, and while he managed to avoid the "real" curse words, he managed to rack up a score of 4x crap, 2x freakin', 1x damn, and "shut the hell up".  All in all, it was about a minute of the definition of the word "unprofessional".

Then, of course, Gabe comes back and basically says 'how cute, he's angwy at me fo not liking his weview.  Baby gonna cwy?'  But then, PA doesn't pretend to be professional.  

Really this is all that needs to be said.  In the end it hurts both of them, nobody wins.

 thats precisely what i was going to crop and point out.. but you've already done that for me :)

so yeh.. QFT and all that