I'm in the Philippines right now, so games arrive here one day or so late. So I strolled to the local game chain to pick up a copy of Final Fantasy 13, thinking it released yesterday, because my mind is still on a Western mindset (since I originally come from England). I hate going to launch parties and I hate being in line for things, so I usually wait a day or two before buying a game.

But lo and behold, when I got there at 3pm (thinking that there could possibly be no crowds at that time), there were over a hundred people in line, and I had no idea what was going on. Apparently they were waiting for the launch, which weirdly began at 3:30pm. Against my better judgment, I waited for an hour to get my copy, because I thought it would just be quick. Little did I know that I would wait for a long time, and when I decided to leave, it was already too late. I felt bad leaving my place in line coz a hundred more people came after me.

While waiting, I got a small understanding as to why people attend launch events and take time to wait even if they can just get games the day after and avoid the crowds. Most of the people standing in line were discussing everything about their gaming lives to each other (as if it really matters to anyone) and comparing game collections. People around me were asking about my gaming background and I just said I'm here to pick up a copy for my cousin and that I don't play games.. because the whole scene really looked absolutely geeky to me. I know I'm a hypocrite, but I sorta don't like looking like a nerd in public.

So I guessed people go to launch events to talk about games because it's still perceived as rather geeky and shameful to talk about them in any other public place (in my mind, that's why I didn't say a word) unless you're with a lot of people who are in the same mindset. Needless to say, I was very uncomfortable while everyone around me kept talking about how God of War 3 will be better than any other game ever made. I dunno, it's fine to talk about it on forums, but in public, I just can't stand the thought. I felt so out of place in my own environment.

I hope you guys don't flame. lol, I'm sound like I'm insulting everyone who ever goes to a launch event. But actually, what I'm really saying is that I can't come to terms with my own love for games. I realized today that I'm a closet gamer after all, and despite my claims to myself that I love games, I don't love them enough to be proud of them.

Anyway.... I'm confused so....

i just started playing the game, and yeah it is linear to the core. i then realized as well that i appreciate linearity more than freedom of action. i looked back on the times i played fallout 3 and remembered that i hated the times when i didn't know where to go next. i don't know why, but i guess i'm the type who wants to be told what to do.

yeah it's a self reflection thread.

My brother attended the UK launch in HMV London (i didn't go =[ because of work) and he got signatures from the lead artist and the producer! , Nomura wasn't there he was working on a game.

meh, i can't even bring myself to get any game autographed. it would be a shame to the highest degree for me. it's like a complete utter admission that i'm a geek (which i am, anyway). and even if i did get a game autographed, i would never show it to anyone except to a forum.

I agree with you, I rarely talk much with normal people about videogames except maybe PES or something like: "I got this game yesterday and its cool" but not much more, I also dont buy games first day, usually get them a week or a month and maybe even more, after they are out.

Sucks for you, being ashamed of who you are.

"because the whole scene really looked absolutely geeky to me. I know I'm a hypocrite, but I sorta don't like looking like a nerd in public."

I'm in the same boat as you. People tell me I don't look like a person that plays a lot of games, which used to sometimes offend me for some reason until I went to my first midnight release (GTA IV)........I felt so out of place.

I feel that if you are different in real life from how you are on the internet then there is obviously some sort of problem.

Meh, do you act the same way as you would in an informal event at an formal event? Do you act differently to your parents? Your bosses? Friends?

The internet is a place where you can fuck around, or pseudo intellectual people will say your sub conscious is allowed to roam free (even though there's even internet etiquette and norms).

I think nobody headshots and tea bags strangers in real life.

This. It's rare that a normal person acts exactly the same in every environment. Unless you're over 65, then you're like fuck it.