It would certainly be called Wii 3DS U n They 2 and would release with 1-2-3DS (spiritual successor of 1-2-Switch). Would feature glass free 3D, NFC, geomagnetic sensors, infrared, gyroscope, accelerometer, HD rumble, a touchpad, rainbow like leds, 2 3D face camera with iris detection, 3D/force touch and a fingerprint sensor for an automatic and safe login.
It would feature 2 new top of the line Vega and i7700k because it also needs to have a good price point, which would be only $99 at launch, dropping to $19 one year after. It would have Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Smash Bros, Mario Kart, Kid Icarus, Luigi's Mansion, Animal Crossing, Donkey Kong, Monster Hunter, Dragon Quest, Splatoon, Arms, Ice Climbers, Mother 4, 5 and 6, CoD, Fifa, Madden, Just Dance, Rayman, The Elder Scrolls, GTA and Half Life 3 as exclusives on the first year too.
Some people would still complain if it had a "Nintendo" name on it so I would change it to Futendo to prevent this problem. 
Bet with Teeqoz for 2 weeks of avatar and sig control that Super Mario Odyssey would ship more than 7m on its first 2 months. The game shipped 9.07m, so I won
