A large part of this has to do with individual user internet access and data plans.
In most US markets, home internet data services generally don't have any caps, barring use that extends into the extreme range (if user was running a home based server using their non-commercial connection and or constantly downloading and transfering large files and streams).
I can't speak for other markets in terms of home internet connection data restrictions, but I can relate to the limitations of data restrictions due to the same structuring used for mobile data plans.
But with regards to home internet connections without restrictions, I set all updates to apply automatically and as my PS4 is always in standby mode, everything installs when I'm not actively using the console, ready for use when I wake it up to play. Rarely do I have to wait to play anything.
In other words, the updating process is virtually invisible to me as an end user.
On PC, I have to leave Steam running to get those automatic updates on my software. I'm not sure whether those updates can download while my PC is in sleep mode because I don't run Steam unless I'm playing a game.
For users such as myself, Steam, while convenient in automatically updating games (Steam client has to update a good percentage of the times I launch Steam as well although this can usually be suspended until the end of my game session), it's not invisible. Leaving Steam running in the background 100% of the time my PC is running is not a viable solution as that diverts resources away from other apps and functions.
My internet provider has made a deal with Microsoft and Valve to have unlimited downloads here in Australia on their services. (Sony and Nintendo haven't bothered to make the effort.)
And yes, you can download on a PC in a "suspended" mode.
I used to let my Xbox One do updates whenever it wanted, unfortunately by doing so it does consume bandwidth... And being a power user where I may be hosting games, uploading, downloading, streaming, remote accessing... It's inconvenient when I needed that bandwidth at a certain time. - I would like a "Check for updates" button on my Xbox to check for all Game+DLC+OS updates at once, would make things more convenient as I can do it when I want.
At the moment I have almost 16 Games/updates in que on my Xbox One, probably a good 100Gb+
Steam allows you to set your own time and date to automatically check and download updates.
Still, the fact of the matter is... Consoles are no longer convenient plug and play devices like they used to be, even install times can take a few hours with some games and they can be a buggy unplayable mess on release.