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The idea that it should be ok for all people or noone is pretty freaking stupid.

In ANY walk of life, there are different things that are ok for different people to say. Your family can say things that you would be pissed off at your friends saying, your friends can say things that you'd be pissed at strangers for saying. Conversely there are probably things that strangers might say that wouldn't bother you that would bother you if your friends said.

In ANY walk of life, people who share a common experience with you are often allowed to say things others can't. Whether its coworkers who share the same job, people who share the same hobby, or even people with a common ethnic identity.

Do I think it's ok for black people to call each other nigger, and not for white people? Well, that's pretty irrelevant. I'm not a black person, and I don't have a dog in this race. It's really irrelevant to my life, and I'm not sure why my opinion warrants consideration. So, black people can figure it out for themselves.