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Just drink their tears and laugh in their pathetic faces. They're only trying to validate their world view by seeking out a place where everybody agrees with them.

"The worst part about these reviews is they are [subjective]--and their scores often depend on how drunk you got the media at a Street Fighter event."  — Mona Hamilton, Capcom Senior VP of Marketing
*Image indefinitely borrowed from BrainBoxLtd without his consent.