Wow. Reading the OP made me cry! I'm so so so sorry for your loss, @Zekkyou! *HUGS*
I lost my mom last year as well. It's been about 14 months now. It was just days before my birthday. Wasn't a slow, drug-out process like cancer; she took a really bad fall and wasn't able to recover, so it was very sudden and took a while to sink in. It worsened my normal depressive tendencies a lot and I withdrew substantially from social life and online activity (including here) as well for about a year. I can definitely relate when you say that if it wasn't for support in your life, you might not still be here. Part of that support for me actually included some video game therapy. There are actually some games that revolve around navigating loss that I found a bit helpful. Mom and I had become fairly close over the last decade. It was a tough loss. I'm still not exactly over it. I get that much. I'm glad to hear that you're at least doing a little better now!
Welcome back! I think I speak for all of us when I say that we look forward to hearing more from you and supporting you in any way that we can here!