Forums - General Discussion - Esmoreit's guide to casual sex (Rated M)

At times, I mention things about my dating life here on the forum. Some might remember the thread about "sex for a laptop" or my tips concerning dating. The responses range from "Your a man-whore" to "Dude that's sweet!". Though man-whore is what I hear mostly. And I bear it with pride as it means that finally no longer are women only the ones made out to be whores when it comes to casual sex. And more equality = more casual sex. I'll get to that point in a minute.

I want to use this thread to give a complete and somewhat humurful overview of my experiences when it comes to casual sex and hopefully (DMJ are you reading this?) it can serve as a guide. If you want to skip the whole text, it's broken up into segments, chapters if you will annoted by bold "titles."

Mind you, this is not about how to get attention from women or how to date. We have threads for that -> http://www.vgchartz.com/forum/thread.php?id=79948 . This guide just helps you cope with all the intracacies of casual sex. Happily married people should turn away now as these secrets might be to enticing.

Let me first answer the question: Why casual sex? Not just because horizontal humpty-dumpty is awesome, which it is. To me, it's all about enjoying the good parts without anything of the bad sides. Inlaw-visits? In my whole dating life I've only met two mother in laws and one of them thought I was a teacher. Which I was, sort of. Vacations? Family-visits? Monogamy? Frigging watching Grey's Anatomy? It just doesn't fly because you are only having casual sex. You can still take her out, movies, park, whatever without the annoying stuff.

The first lesson concerning casual sex is: You! Yes, it does take a rather excentric mind-set (my friends call me ethically depraved) but it is necessary. Let me start with feelings. Feelings are bad when it comes to casual sex because they will usually make you  either monogamous (1/3 chance) or heartbroken (2/3 chance). Heartbroken as it's always unsure if the other person falls for you or you for her. Try and stave this off. I've managed to enjoy a "relationship" with a girl for nearly 1.5 years without ever loving her. It helped that she was married but long story short, as long as I just like a girl I can enjoy her loving nude company. Concerning the married thing, it also helps to not be jealous as either one of you is probably screwing more people. Condoms, of course are a no-brainer.
The second part when it comes to you is your standards. I have only fallen in love once, with a highly intelligent black model. That is my standard when it comes to relationships and it's hardly attainable. (For those of you wondering, it lasted a month and she distanced herself from me...) When it comes to casual sex you can easily lower your standards because hey, are you going to show her to your parents? Of course not, never mind then that she only eats with her elbows. Is she a rather big girl? Well, you won't take her to the movies or your friends anyway so you don't have to shame yourself. Of course, big girls can be beautiful and you might encounter a girl gorgues enough to show to your friends but you don't HAVE to! Still, you will find that when your standards are lower, you appreciate a lot of new things and trust me when I say the best sex is found not anywhere near the girl you expect it the most from.

The second lesson is: Your prey! Of course, finding the right girl is tough as you do not ever go talk to a girl and asks if she's interested in a casual sex-relationship. It takes careful planning and monitoring. Let me first make a profile. The most likely girls to enter in a sexual relationship are:

  1. The girl who just got out of a relationship and doesn't want to be tied down to one guy but still has needs.
  2. The married/taken girls. It's tough guys but yes, there's a probable chance that when your sexlife is uneventful she will seek it outside (so far, 2 married women - without permission - and 3 girls in relationships.) Again, it helps to not have feelings.
  3. The independant women. Think the business woman too busy for a relationship, the stewardess, etc.

Look for these women. If you talk to a girl and she fits above profile, show interest, start flirting the whole shebang! High chances that you'll be seeing her ride bronco ASAP!
Secondly, of course is where to hunt! Bars are a great place. The independant and broken-up girl can be found here. The first one partying, the second one drinking. The last one is easy, just keep pouring her and listen to her. Do make your intentions clear. As for the independant woman, show both interest and disdain. You want to do her, but not limit her freedom. The married/taken girl is more difficult. Married women can be found usually at the gym, the taken girl at school/work/gym and sometimes the pub. She'll be the one leaving early. Be with her. But you have more chances of scoring online. Yes, internet-dating is perfect (I might make a guide for that too sometime) as the married woman can usually be found here and believe me... Desperate Housewives are indeed awesome! Don't be ashamed, it's totally accepted now and it has a low entry-barrier so a great way to start if you are not experienced.

If you made first contact it is important to know how to proceed from there. You have to make your intentions clear so divert the conversation to sex as soon as the time is right. Women enjoy talking about sex too so make use of that. Now when you have the ball roling mention your time doing casual sex (aswell as relationships, women enjoy a guy more when there are more options). If she holds interest or tells her own stories concerning this topic, you've got a good chance to start dabbling in casual sex. Provided her experiences were good enough. This is where you start exchanging phone-numbers, ask for a date, etc. I refer back to the dating guide mentioned above. Now, when kissing starts it is important to be honest! Tell her directly that you are not one for relationships but that a casual relationship is totally fine. Wrap it in good enough and you'll be good. If she doesn't take it that well... no loss then, you don't want a relationship now do you?! Plus, honesty is a trait that is well-valued.

Now, the first time!   You have already been honest, just enjoy the ride!  Now it's important that you will probably want to establish a relationship. Once you two are done, be honest and say that you would like to see her again sometime/it will not work out. If you go for the first option, don't pin it down. You might like a future date, she will probably have to evaluate it all.

Keeping the relationship going is quite easy. At some point you will see her as a girlfriend and you know enough about eachother to know what to expect, what you like, etc. Just remember to keep it interesting and if she wants to experience trips outside of your bed let her. More casual sex = more happiness and hey, your probably going at it outside as well. I found that the most enjoyable talks with lady-friends are the one where I get to compare her to the girl I had sex with 3 days ago and she tells me of her experiences (especially when it comes to compliments!) Just remember that jealousy is extremely bad and that if your good enough she'll probably keep going with you.

At some point you might like to get out. This is not that hard. If you two have both been building on your network you will probably cushen the blow as hey, she will probably still have plenty of sex and so will you. In my experience, most sexual relationships just bleed out. Either she desires something more steady or there are timeconstraints or the relationship has gone stale... either way, no feelings = no heartbreaking :D!

 

Endnote - of course, I assume that the above works for the gaymers as well provided that you change all the women-references to man-references. Perhaps it's even easier as men are more sexually liberated and the gay-scene even more so. As for the reference to man-whoriness and equality... well, if guys are considered whores aswell the same as women were for enjoying multiple guys then the equality will ensure a more equal footing and understanding hopefully removing the stigma that women are whores only! Which might lead to more sexually liberated women... so goes my theory at elast!

If there are any more questions I'd love to answer thems. Pics not yet included, I might if I find some that don't result in a ban



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Oh my. VGC is always interesting!



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Wow.



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Esmoreit: A pioneer in a brave future where men and women exploit each other equally!

Anybody who calls him a man-whore is just jealous of all the action he's getting.



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What am I supposed to say?



I hope your Gf doesn't see this -_-



Straight people are weird...



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Haha,LOL great topic, and I love the word 'man-whore' it reminds of that Deuce Bigalow movie.



Esmoreit for president.



"Life is but a gentle death. Fate is but a sickness that results in extinction and in the midst of all the uncertainty, lies resolve."