Like most people, I've always wanted to find a partner and eventually have a family someday, but I'm starting to think that's not how my life will or even should go.
I always figured that eventually I would "mature" in terms of social and functional development, but it just never happened; I seem perpetually stuck with a child's mind in an adult body, having made no progress at all since my early 20s. Perhaps I need to accept that this is who I am and make peace with that.
Romantic relationships are just too difficult; they require a degree of social dexterity that my brain is simply incapable of. I've only had one such relationship in my life, 7 years ago, and that only lasted as long as it did because we only saw each other about once a week and a partial language barrier smoothed over the social disconnect somewhat. This eventually broke down over time as my social disability became increasingly obvious and problematic.
Furthermore, even if I could find a partner, I don't think I would be a good parent; I can only barely look after myself. I don't think I would be able to give a child a good start in life. Plus, if I were to have a child, I would risk passing on my mental health problems to them.
I wish I could switch off the need I feel for romance, sex, and a family of my own, but I don't know how. Such fundamental social and biological impulses seem impossible to suppress.
Has anyone else here gone through something similar, or just never wanted partner and kids and learned to be happy without them?
Bet with Liquidlaser: I say PS5 and Xbox Series X will sell more than 56 million combined by the end of 2023.