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Forums - General Discussion - My daily struggle with Anxiety

Well, I've had anxiety all my life. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel anxious about every single thing. Here are some things that I have to deal with (almost) daily:

- I have zero self-confidence. I feel like the worst person in the world.
- I am the quietest person I've ever seen. It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's just that I can't.
- I hate confrontation. My reaction to aggressiveness is to get the hell out of there. And usually cry right after. Being a guy, I've been attacked (verbally, of course) several times for not wanting to fight and not being aggressive.
- Needless to say, my relationships don't tend to go really well. I feel like I'm a drag to the other person instead of a partner.
- Loud/outgoing people make me very nervous.
- I need to have a bottle of water at any time. My mouth gets dry very easily and if I don't have a source of water close to me I get really nervous.
- I can't stand doing nothing. I have to be doing something at any time or I go crazy.
- Being amidst a crowd for too long is extremely exhausting, mentally and physically.
- Breathing is a weird thing. Sometimes it's all fine, but sometimes I feel like I'm out of air and start to breathe as if had just run a marathon.
- I don't have a sleep routine. I find it very hard to fall asleep.
- I can't remember the last time I slept for 8 hours straight. Every night I wake up at least 2 or 3 times.
- Every time I enter a different place I have to check if there are any spiders on the walls or ceiling (yeah I also have arachnophobia).
- There are times when I get really, really sad for no reason at all.
- If I am weird or say something stupid to someone, I'll keep thinking and being ashamed of that for the rest of my days, even if it's a really small thing.
- And the worst thing: I know that's all bs. I can think rationally and get to the conclusion that I have no reason to feel that way. But I just can't help it. I just have to deal with those feelings, I guess.

Overall, it's really, really exhausting. It's tiring to have to deal with this stuff, it wears me out. It's like being tired after a long day of work but never being able to get some rest. And then going to another long day of work the next day, and then the next one, and every single day.

Sad thing is, a lot of people still think that anxiety is not a "real disorder".

I've been working in a lot of those issues lately, and I've been having a bit of success (yay!). For example, I went to a music festival a few months ago, and I feel like I can deal with crowds and loud sounds much better now. I'm also in a film school, and getting criticism for the films I make is helping me deal with confrontation. I now use clothes that I actually like instead of huge clothes that hide my body, and that boosted massively my self-confidence (not enough to post a picture of me here yet though, maybe someday).

So yeah, I know this might sound stupid for you if you don't have anxiety, but it helps me to share my feelings with other people, and who better than a bunch of people that I don't even know? And I know that a lot of people also have anxiety disorders, so it'd be cool if some of you talked about it too, it's always good to feel as though you're not the only one.

Last edited by LuccaCardoso1 - on 17 September 2018

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I definitely resonate with what you're going through, anxiety is real and crippling at times. I suffer from anxiety as well, and have my entire life but didn't know it until a few years ago.



I've had panic attacks a few times in my life and the last one was basically my brain trying to torture me. I felt like I was on the brink of having a heart attack, then I felt like I couldn't breath, then I felt like I had a severe burn all over my body, then I got hit with terrible nausea. Over and over for the span of just over a week my body just tormented me. 3 ER visits, multiple trips to the doctor, thousands upon thousands burned in medical bills, and I was just told over and over that I was perfectly healthy. Eventually I was prescribed Sertraline (Zoloft) and my torment ceased almost immediately.

That week was complete hell and I do not wish it upon anyone. Anxiety attacks can be dangerous if untreated. Stress needs to be relieved. I was too much into my work and was trying to balance way too much in my life.



Megiddo said:

I've had panic attacks a few times in my life and the last one was basically my brain trying to torture me. I felt like I was on the brink of having a heart attack, then I felt like I couldn't breath, then I felt like I had a severe burn all over my body, then I got hit with terrible nausea. Over and over for the span of just over a week my body just tormented me. 3 ER visits, multiple trips to the doctor, thousands upon thousands burned in medical bills, and I was just told over and over that I was perfectly healthy. Eventually I was prescribed Sertraline (Zoloft) and my torment ceased almost immediately.

That week was complete hell and I do not wish it upon anyone. Anxiety attacks can be dangerous if untreated. Stress needs to be relieved. I was too much into my work and was trying to balance way too much in my life.

I'm sorry about that, that sounds terrible. I've had a single panic attack that lasted for about 20 minutes, and it was already one of the worst things I've ever felt, I can't even imagine what it's like to have a week-long attack.



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I didn't have THAT much anxiety but still quite a bit , and I was very depressive for a larger part of my life than not. I do think with time/age and experience these issues will be a lot easier to cope. Try to be more optimistic, especially about yourself.



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Hey, you're not alone. I've dealt with anxiety for years, but I've been able to push through it by breathing in and out, looking at stuff that makes me happy, and just overall thinking happy thoughts. :)



Damn, I feel the same way about half of these things. Maybe I have anxiety...at least to some degree.

But yeah, I'm glad you find that taking criticism with your film studies is helping you with confrontation. The best way to tackle fears is head on, you seem to have made some great success so far. Keep going in that direction.



LuccaCardoso1 said:

Well, I've had anxiety all my life. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel anxious about every single thing. Here are some things that I have to deal with (almost) daily:

 

Ride a bike (I'm being serious)

https://momentummag.com/mental-health-benefits-of-cycling/ 

Last edited by Rab - on 18 September 2018

Rab said:
LuccaCardoso1 said:

Well, I've had anxiety all my life. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel anxious about every single thing. Here are some things that I have to deal with (almost) daily:

 

Ride a bike (I'm being serious)

 

Article - "When I was anxious and depressed, cycling put me on the road to happiness"

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/dec/18/anxiety-depression-cycling-cbt 

Surprisingly, I've already tried that. Not as a way to relieve anxiety, but I've tried it.

Well, I hate it. All the bicycle paths in my city always have a lot of people on them, and I end up getting really stressed trying to not bump into anyone or anything.

I actually played tennis for a period of time and it helped me a bit to relieve stress, but I moved and there are no tennis courts around here. And now with college, I don't really have much spare time.



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LuccaCardoso1 said:
Rab said:

Ride a bike (I'm being serious)

 

Article - "When I was anxious and depressed, cycling put me on the road to happiness"

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/dec/18/anxiety-depression-cycling-cbt 

Surprisingly, I've already tried that. Not as a way to relieve anxiety, but I've tried it.

Well, I hate it. All the bicycle paths in my city always have a lot of people on them, and I end up getting really stressed trying to not bump into anyone or anything.

I actually played tennis for a period of time and it helped me a bit to relieve stress, but I moved and there are no tennis courts around here. And now with college, I don't really have much spare time.

Ok, yeah too many people on the path can be stressful, Im blessed with a quiet path along my cities river, exercising is key to my mental health, if you can find a quiet place like a large park or a nature strip nearby then give it another go, I hope it works out for you