It's because you're not blinded by nostalgia.
Fixed that for you.
A lot of the gen 1/2 mons really are just incredibly uninspired and boring. Take off the nostalgia goggles and you can see that.
you have to take into account that the OP was -5 years old when Gen one was a thing, by the time he was old enough to walk/talk/post on the internet, the concept of a pokemon which must make allowances to be male/female do not make sense to him because when he was born the Nintendo DS and PSP were on the Horizon, the concept of a game being limited by a 4mhz processor is hard to take into account when you have something close to a portable PS2 available by the time he can talk.
This makes me feel old to say, but I must now understand why people would sigh and roll their heads when classic films are criticized by people on youtube in 2018
@OP though, you say the region must be full of spoons for all those Kadabra/Alakazam I'm fairly sure in Gen 1 only a Gym leader has more than one Kadabra and most certainly an Alakazam, perhaps if you did find the Kadabra in the wild and defeated it they simply would pick up the spoon of their fallen friend to focus their powers on you... (also they just wanted something to look like Uri Geller as without the spoons he would just look like an anteater, easy to add those in 8bit hardware to convey that the pokemon has psychic power ties)