I was driving my car one night while I was 16 and missed a bridge...lawls

in 7th grade i slit my throat.

I nearly had a mercury poisoning when I was four, I don't remember much about it, only that I was in ambulance and they put some kind of vacuum device into my mouth.

Another time was when I was overtaking a long truck on a highway and there were only two lanes, to overtake I had to momentarily move to the lane which was primarily for the oncoming traffic. Obviously the truck was too long to pass and avoid the oncoming traffic in time, so I had to brake like madman to avoid the oncoming cars and steer back behind that truck while avoiding any possible collision from cars behind me.

well we actually install hidden dog fences.  It involves a machine with a fast spinning blade that cuts the yard so a wire can be buried behind it and we use the rebar to hold the wire in place until it gets started.  So my co-worker was straightening something out underneath the blade then gave me the OK to start it once he was done.  I started the blade and it caught the rebar and flung it right past my head.  Needless to say I crushed him with a hulkbuster suit after that

Nearly drowned after swimming out into the sea. Was feeling pretty confident and didn't notice the strong sideways current until I tried swimming back to shore. Lost most of my energy in trying to do so, then panicked, making me lose control and was only able to hold on for dear life on the last vestiges of body strength to avoid drowning until a lifeguard rescued me.

Not my brightest moment in life.

When I was 7 or 8, I was in this park (for lack of a better term) where people could go to have picnics, swim in a nearby river, etc. While I was attempting to cross a river with a friend of my dad's, the river current was too strong and swept me off my feet, but before I was fully submerged and dragged away, my dad's friend grabbed my hand and pulled me back onto my feet. I just remember him looking very pale and asking me if I was ok, so I can only assume the current would have slammed into every rock imaginable on the way to wherever it ended.

There was also another time in the beach when my dad took me and my sister a bit too far into the ocean on an inflatable bed thingy and it were getting dragged farther and farther away from beach by an underwater current and I just remember my telling us not to panic...we were fucking panicking. Eventually, we were able to get back to shore though, no idea how.

I also got stunged by a manta ray (albeit small one) when i was 11 and it felt like I was gonna die, so they put pee in my foot to relieve the pain.

Needless to say, I fucking hate big/deep bodies of water.

The crazy 1 tile jump on 8-3.

Nothing special honestly. At vacation in France at a lake I was on one of those inflatable beds and fell asleep (just arrived and had a very long ride, so I was tired as fuck). When I woke up I was all the way at the middle of the lake, where the water was really cold. I suppose that if I would have fallen off I could have gotten in some problems considering the panic and the cold water.
I also suspect that I walked into a drug deal once, but I'm not sure and I doubt that the Netherlands is a country where a 16y old walking his dog gets killed for walking past a possible drug deal.

Kerotans don't die. Shoot us with a gun, RPG, grenade or even a sniper and the most we'll do is wiggle and laugh back at you.

We even survive a nuclear warhead in the jungles of
Tselinoyarsk.

I got stuck inside an inner tube upside down in a swimming pool once and couldn't get out. There was no way to turn myself right-side up, either. I remember panicking, thrashing in the water upside down until I finally broke free and slipped out the underside of the tube. One of the scariest moments of my life and I think I was about 9 or 10 at the time. I still have these weird, recurring dreams that I've fallen face-down in a manhole and drown.

Side note: I seriously don't know how humans haven't evolved to be amphibious yet, what with "survival of the fittest" and all. We can create and perform the most extraordinary things historically, but still die in six inches of water. I'm sure it makes sense to biologists (or people with normal intelligence), but not to me.