Once upon a time I borrowed a PS2 along with some games from a friend. When I gave him his stuff back we had a little conversation:
"You know, that Turok Evolution game is pretty difficult."
"Yeah, the flying levels are a bitch."
"True, true. The controls for flying are almost completely broken, but that's not what I meant. I think I've only got up to chapter three in this game. There was this section on a mountain where I had to cross a bridge and as soon as I got on the other side I got shot by some snipers or turrets, I don't really know because you die instantly. Every. Single. Time. There's a checkpoint right before the bridge, but since the result was always the same I eventually gave up."
"Oh yes, I remember that section. It is pure evil. You need to make use of the bush trick to get past that point."
"The bush trick?"
"The bush trick."
"The bush... trick?!"
"The bush trick."
"So what is this bush trick all about?"
"There's a bush right past the bridge and you need to rush in there as soon as possible. The enemies have trouble to see you, so if you move slowly while you are hiding in this bush, you can take them out one by one and then finish the level. There's only three enemies, I think."
"Thanks... I guess. I'll try that out, if I ever play that game again."
A few weeks later I borrowed an Xbox from a friend who also happened to own Turok Evolution, so I gave the game another go to see if that wonderful bush trick actually works. I make my way up that mountain again, cross the bridge, rush into the bush and carefully try to take out the enemies one by one. But I make a mistake and get shot, my health drops by 10 %. "Okay, don't know what's up, but I won't complain." Two enemies down, one to go. Another mistake, health drops by 10 % again. I kill the last enemy and finish the level. So what exactly happened? Bushes in this game don't reduce the damage you take, so there's only one possible explanation.
The moral of the story: PlayStation sucks, Xbox rules.
"Rol..."
"What is it, reader?"
"Are you sure that this story isn't just one big fat lie?"
"Huh? Why would I do such a thing?"
"Because you are known for making things up for the sole sake of bashing the PlayStation brand. There must be at least some sort of catch here."
"Alright... you know me just too well, imaginary reader. It's almost as if you are in my head."
What I didn't mention yet is that the PS2 version I played was the German one and therefore not uncut, unlike the Xbox version I played. What most likely happened is that Acclaim was too lazy to do proper bug testing on the German version and that's why you get instantly killed all the time in that section... and only that section. Did I ever finish Turok Evolution? No, because about midway through the game is a stealth level and by that point I was too bored already. Also, the flying levels suck beyond belief. No wonder Acclaim went bankrupt during that generation.
Legend11 correctly predicted that GTA IV (360+PS3) would outsell SSBB. I was wrong.
A Biased Review Reloaded / Open Your Eyes / Switch Shipments