Wrong thread?

^Nope, he said a girl picks on him and he wants a comeback.

Oh my stars, how did you deduce that? To be honest, I am impressed. 

Anyway, I used that quote to insult his insults. If you think using "well you know I used to think that I was a loser until I met you" or "okay so and so I will study more just for you! After all your oppinion matters being the queen of the universe and all" is going to be an effective retort, then you may as well use the insult I provided. 

Sarcasm works trust me. Or just use an insult about something personal to them like their disabled cousin. I know its low, but I did it a couple of times and they shutup right away.

Sarcasm is effective if you can ably deliver it. If you do not possess that skill, I would avoid it. 

^true, you have to have the right wording and expression. I am an expert sarcasmer!

Go to the gym. On topic though...my advice is: never try to insult someone back, unless you know for a fact they were trying to piss you off. For example: I have a friend who in High School, came in one morning slightly late to class. Some other douche guy said "Why are you so late...were you jerking off this morning?" He replied "Nah...you're mum did it for me" Ultimate chop...everyone pissed themselves. Also...never insult a girl...it never ends well. Even if she is a total bitch to you...just be cocky and funny, and pretend you couldn't care less what comes out of her mouth. Trust me...some girl did that to me before...she was all like "Man...you're such a loser. Blah Blah" I just played it cool, like "Maybe so...but you're the one talking to the loser" I ended hooking up with her down the road.

^LOL nice, that is a classic comeback. I have heard similar, it never gets old.

It's a work of fiction, where you get to write the perfect lines and you get to write how the other person reacts.

And I told the OP not to retort at all, not whatever shit you wrote for me as a strawman. You insult will only get you laughed at (dinosaurs? What the fuck?) and using premade comebacks don't work since it doesn't take into account the exact situation and tiny nuances (the person's name, the argument at hand, who you are, etc).

So we can't even provide comebacks for him, he has to be a clever person and even still, if you're surrounded by idiots they'll act like they've won and just by that, they will always win. In the same logic, you can win if you brush off their immature insults (do you really feel insulted if you get called a nerd by some 6 year old? And can you really feel like you really showed a 6 year old kid if he didn't even understand what you said and laughs?)

He'll have to constantly remember our comebacks, and change them up not to sound repetitive. Giving a comeback will warrant another comeback, and if he's going to fight a war of attrition, he'll lose. He also probably has some negative/humilating qualities for him to get insulted in the first place, and so he's in a severe disadvantage. He'll have to tell us the flaws of his oponnents and again, these things have to be done in the spur of the momment, and by him, not us.

This thread is not going to help him if he's looking to fight fire with fire. I'm telling him the best, and long term solution to the problem. Ignore it. You win if you're not bothered by it. Try to eliminate potential source of things that would get you insulted (if your sense of fashion is bad, don't try to look fashionable. You'll probably fail in the process. Just wear stuff like high school t-shirts, university hoodies, etc. Stuff that everybody will wear at some point anyway), and shut up if you can't insult since your words would only get used against you. Seem as sympathetic as possible by not instigating anything, being nice to other people, not doing anything stupid/laughable, etc.

Only the witty can truly insult people.