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Looking at people and things in a positive way vs. a negative way

Forums - General Discussion - Looking at people and things in a positive way vs. a negative way

What ratio of positive/negative thinking works best?

 

In my opinon, its best to look at other people optimistically, and celebrate thier stenghts. At the same time, its good to be fully aware (or as aware as you can be by simple observation- no prodding/starring anything visible ect)  of other peoples faults so that you can aviod bad advice/ aviod potentially bad situations involving that person. Also, you can resist bad mannerisms of theirs.

Generally, it seems better not to judge people since it makes them mad. Advice is also worthless becuase people will only change if they want to. Even if people are asking you to listen to their problems, it is much better to reach an understanding than give advice. Really, advice should only be given if a person asks for advice or recognizes they are in trouble and reaches out for help.

Personally, I am much harder on myself than on other people. I try to be as realistic as possible and analyze everything I do wrong and constantly try to improve. It helps a lot, but I'm not sure its the best route since it makes me kind of shy due to fear of others criticizing me since I am always criticizing myself.

In terms of the world at large, I currently have no definite views. Existentialist thought has some interguing aspects to it however.

What are your views on positive vs negative thinking?

 

 



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Negative thinking almost always works best in the world we face today.

No one is trying to help you out of the goodness of their heart, that Nigerian prince in the email is not trying to help you, your cousin doesn't really have a bridge for sale, and candy received from strangers is always delicious.



well somtimes there are no good things about people :P



Words of Wisdom, its true that you can't "always rely on the kindness of strangers"
but aren't there some friends that you can trust? Or are there always ulterior motives? For example, this one girl thinks I'm really nice, but I am also asking her to the prom, she might view that as an ulterior motive... but in fact it is not. Because I like her, I am nicer to her than most people. Also I am asking her to the prom because I like her. I'm not being nice just so she will go with me.

Its hard to tell sometimes why people do things.



Hawkeye said:
Words of Wisdom, its true that you can't "always rely on the kindness of strangers"
but aren't there some friends that you can trust? Or are there always ulterior motives? For example, this one girl thinks I'm really nice, but I am also asking her to the prom, she might view that as an ulterior motive... but in fact it is not. Because I like her, I am nicer to her than most people. Also I am asking her to the prom because I like her. I'm not being nice just so she will go with me.

Its hard to tell sometimes why people do things.

Everyone has a motive or agenda for all their actions (otherwise we would not perform those actions).  Often times that motivation is far more important than the actual action taken.  Examining motives and the like is part of a little thing called "critical thinking" which people do not engage in nearly enough.

 



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Words Of Wisdom said:
Hawkeye said:
Words of Wisdom, its true that you can't "always rely on the kindness of strangers"
but aren't there some friends that you can trust? Or are there always ulterior motives? For example, this one girl thinks I'm really nice, but I am also asking her to the prom, she might view that as an ulterior motive... but in fact it is not. Because I like her, I am nicer to her than most people. Also I am asking her to the prom because I like her. I'm not being nice just so she will go with me.

Its hard to tell sometimes why people do things.

Everyone has a motive or agenda for all their actions (otherwise we would not perform those actions).  Often times that motivation is far more important than the actual action taken.  Examining motives and the like is part of a little thing called "critical thinking" which people do not engage in nearly enough.

 

 

Critically analzyzing people motivation can be scary though. Often times you can find that highly sucesfful people have a pattern of motiviation so that they do things becuase they are in essense, ruthless and power hungry.

 

 

What about people who belive in a sense or harmony and conectedness in the universe? Oftentime these people seem to do things becuase they have a  "your pain is my pain" attitude. Aren't these people trustworthy?