At snesboy's request, here is a thread dedicated to telling crazy(true) stories from your real life experiences. Makes me think of that 76 year old man at my work who likes to tell me stories about his porn collection and how he gave over $5000 to a prostitute who died when she was 32.

I'll start with my craziest story:

One night my friend and I decided to go to a club in Manchester with a couple of her friends. They pick us up in this big SUV and we start heading over there... with a few scares like driving up one way streets the wrong way. So we get there, I'm not planning to drink to much but people keep buying and handing me drinks! So eventually I'm pretty trashed. The girl who was driving, the entire night theres this guy whos all over her and she keeps whispering "hes so ugly..." The other two are also getting pretty thoroughly inebriated. The girl who I was actually friends with decides to go home with a guy. Then the club closes.

The driver decides to go home with that guy she thought was so ugly. She hands the keys to the other girl... This girl had told me earlier that her name was Dusty Dawn. I was like wtf porn star name? And she asserted it was her real name. I was way too drunk to realize she was too drunk to drive. I only knew I was too drunk. She starts driving and I can't get my seat belt on. This as in New Hampshire where you don't have to wear a seatbelt... but I was feeling uncomfortable with her driving and I made her pull over and let me get it on. She starts driving again and I ask... "do you even know where we are going?" Shes says "YES OF COURSE I DO". Shes driving through random residential neighborhoods and shes scaring me a bit. She goes down one road and she starts accelerating... and accelerating... and I can see orange reflectors at the end of the road. Over boulders blocking the way down a cliff. I say... "dusty... slow down... dusty... you're scaring me... DUSTY HIT THE BRAKES!!! THE BRAKES!!!" shes still accellerating, not paying attention to me, I still don't know what she was thinking. I gave up on screaming at her and I just said "oh my god" as she slammed into the boulder. I thought I was gonna die.

I got lucky... those big SUVs take head on collisions well. My knees were all messed up and my kneck hurt. Once I was sure I was ok I look over at her. Her head is on the steering wheel. I ask "Dusty.... are you ok?" No answer. I say "Dusty... wake up... please..." no answer. I keep staring at her in horror. Then she slowly lifts her head up. Broken nose. I said "Oh thank god... I'm gonna go check the damage". I stepped out and looked at the front... it was dented into a deep V shape. She starts it back up and yells at me to get in. I got in and said "what are we gonna do now???" She says "I already got two DUIs I can't afford to have the cops find us... we gotta keep going" and I'm saying "NO YOU JUST PROVED YOU CANT DRIVE LIKE THIS NO NO NO" but shes driving.

She pulls onto I-93 and starts whining that she needs a cigarette. They are in the back seat. I try to reach them but I can't. She starts reaching for them... meanwhile shes veering all over the road. All three lanes. I was horrified and I started screaming that if she wanted a cigarette that bad to pull over and let me get them. I finally convinced her. So we start going again. Shes driving in the breakdown lane and theres a cop with someone pulled over. I start screaming at her to get out of the breakdown lane. She pulls into the real lane after I screamed at her a good bit.

I'm begging her to stop driving... she was risking not just our lives but everyone elses on the road. I then ask "do you even know where we are going? Do you? No you don't, I do. We're on I-93 Going towards Boston... " I call my parents. Its 2 am. I said some pathetic things like "If I don't make it through the night I love you" and I asked how we can get home. They say take route 102. I say "dusty take 102" she sees a sign that says "101" and takes that exit. So now we are in some small town and I see a 7-11. I convince her to pull over saying I needed to go pee. I go to the bathroom. Then she goes in. I call my parents and ask them to pick me up... I asked the convenience store clerk where we were, so I told them the town so they could mapquest it. Meanwhile dusty can't figure out how to get out of the bathroom. The clerk helps her open the door. I tell her I was staying there, and she had the option of getting a ride with my parents too (anything to get her off the road).

Haha the convenience store guy looked EXACTLY like Dante from Clerks. No joke. I even told him that and he said yeah everyone says that. I called him Dante for the rest of the night. So I chilled with Dante and his girlfriend for awhile and they let me have free soda. Then my parents came and picked us up (leaving the beat up SUV there) and brought us home and everything was ok right?

The next day I had just finished telling that crazy story to my friends at my college when I got a phone call. It was the cops. They were accusing me of STEALING the vehicle. Threatening to arrest me right there blah blah. I can imagine they were just trying to scare info out of me. Apparently I really didn't have the information they wanted though. Dusty wasn't that girls real name. So they thought I was lying to protect her when I really didn't know her real name. I gave them my friends number to get them off my back.

They never found out who Dusty was and they never harassed me again. Thank god.

Now share your crazy stories guys!

I will edit in a ridiculous story once I decide on a good one (going through high school in a shitty, small town in VT=lots of out of control stories, involving cars, alcohol, and occasionally cows) and type it up

And here I go:


Soooo, I was dating this hot girl back in 2007 but at the same time, I was engaged. She calls me one Saturday night while I'm working for the police department and tells me "Lewis, I need your help. I don't have any insurance on my car and I'm at this diner. The police department are parked outside, and I think they're going to pull me over when I leave."

"Don't worry, baby. Nothings going to happen to you. I'm in your corner. I'm on my way. Go ahead and leave", I tell her. And she does. I call her on her cell phone. "I'm behind you in my patrol car", I tell her. "Nobody's going to pull you over with a police car already behind you."

So I follow her until she's out of the city limits. "Thanks alot, baby", she tells me. "I thought they had me. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow."

Wait a minute. What? This girl stays up until 4am on a Tuesday night. It's 12:30am. And, she never let my car get too close to hers......I must investigate. So, I tell her goodnight, and turn down another road. I wait for about 30 seconds. Then I drive over 100 miles per hour and catch up to her. I turn on my police lights and pull her over.

My cell phone starts ringing like crazy. I answer it. "Lewis, I'm being pulled over. I need you NOW!", she says. I step out of the car. Before I take one step towards her, Amy (her name is Amy) runs up to me and gives me a hug and a kiss. "I was soooo scared", Amy says. "I thought they had me! Well, I gotta go."

"So, who's in the car?" I ask. I can see the top of some guys head. "What are you talking about?", Amy says. "Yeah." I say. "Have a good night." She gets into her car and leaves.

Maybe ten minutes later, she's calling me. She's telling me how much she loves me. She REALLY need to see me. I'm sitting on the side of the road, a broken man. I get off work at 3am, and I have to go home to MY GIRLFRIEND. What I was doing to my girlfriend was being done to me. Yep.

And to this day, despite this girl purposely breaking up my engagement, spending tons of my money, getting different boyfriends (and me having about five girlfriends SINCE her), and destroying my reputation (I admit that I helped, but she didn't have to tell everybody what I do), I still prefer being around her more than anybody else in the world.



I have 50 stories about how this girl has driven me to the point of insanity, but I'll never leave her alone. Now, I see why a lot of women stay with men who abuse them.

That kinda reminds me of something that happened to me that could have been disastrous.

So I was getting ready to go round a friends small party as he had a free house for the weekend, when I got a call from a good friend of mine offering me a lift, I said yes cos I would otherwise have to take two busses.

Like 45 minutes later he comes speeding down the road and pulls onto the pavement, I open the door and he's sitting there grinning up at me. Turns out he had taken 2 hits of e right after he called me. He spent the entire journey letting go of the steering wheel, making me steer round turns, trying to get air of speed bumps, and playing chicken with other cars. Luckily he is a pretty dam good driver so we didnt hit anything, that was almost a year ago and he still apologises for that journey... and tbh it was kinda fun :P

Okies...

So my Uni requires community service as one part of its graduation requirements.  One of the ways to get lots and lots of community service hours quickly is tutoring at a juvenile delinquent place.  You even get a few credits too.  You go, you help a couple of people, and you come back.  Seems simple and for credits/hours, it sounds like win/win.

Would I go there alone?  Heck no!  So I go with a friend who also needs community service hours and she offers to drive.  Two more people who also need hours come with us so all is well.  We leave about 4-5ish and plan to be back around 10ish so nothing big or problematic.  We didn't check the weather before but eh... how bad could it be?

We leave around the right time and settle in for a 45-60 minute drive just chatting.  It's getting dark early so there's not exactly much around for scenery to talk about though.  10-15 minutes later, we realize we went right instead of left when we left town.  Whoops.  We are so totally late now.  We pull a u-turn and go in the right direction.  At this point we're going to be at least 20 minutes late so my friend is speeding a little bit. 

Since no one has driven out this way before, we had no idea exactly what areas we would be driving through which while usually fun isn't always.  We stumbled through a tiny town.  From the welcome sign to the leaving sign, it's almost exactly 1 mile.  It had a bar, a church, a gas station, and a few houses/small businesses from what I saw despite it being very dark by that time.

Then the blue lights appear in the rearview mirror and my friend who's driving starts worrying.  She's never been pulled over before.  It turns out that this little one mile town is a giant speed trap and my friend just got her first ticket.  :(  Okay, so now she has a speeding ticket from the land of nowhere and we're majorly late for this teaching thing.

We finally get there or at least we hope we're there because wherever we were was very creepy.  We were in the right spot and had to be checked and all before going in.  And we also had to explain why we were so late.  Then after leaving the guard tower/post place we have to walk through the grounds to the place we would be teaching in.  It's really dark, I mean like no stars dark, at this point.  Seemed kind of strange but whatever. 

The teaching stuff went on in a pretty large classroom with big tables.  We all sat at a different table and had a couple students.  It wasn't actually bad and a couple hours passed pretty quickly.  Everything was good until we got on the road.  It seemed that not checking the weather hadn't been a smart idea because now we had to get back to campus through a very very dense fog.

Okay, so no problem.  We can only see the colors of the lines on the side of the road and maybe 20 feet in front of us but we start on our way back.  Then suddenly realize we had yet again gone the wrong direction and turn around going back the right way.

So when I say you could only see the lines on the side of the road, I mean that's what you could see.  You couldn't see signs on the side until you were practically on top of them.  Needless to say we went really slowly.  The only problem with not being able to see far in front of you really is that nothing else can see you until you're right on top of them.  So there we were driving down this road with no other cars on the road for miles around (we thought) when suddenly something appears in the headlights.

There was a deer in the road.  A giant deer.  My friend stomps on the brakes as hard as she can but the fog was so thick that there wasn't much distance between us and the deer already.  Thankfully the deer was faster than we were and ran off to the side.  So there we were at a complete stop in the middle of a very foggy area now with animals roaming the road and all feeling slightly panicky.  In hindsight, it's really really good thing there were no cars following us because if we didn't see the deer in time, there's no way they'd have seen us in time.

We made it home around 11-12ish after that but overall it was a pretty awful night for driving.

^^ Fog can make drives really scary, me and my mum were once driving back from seeing my cousins and it was so fogy that everyone on the motor way was going like 15 mph, it wasn't even busy at all!

this is not crazy but more like a weird story, and it all starts with a dream...
so the dream... driving down this long road for about half hour or so and eventually come up to this bridge which ofcourse i drive over. i proceed to turn left onto this long gravel rd for a about 20mins.
eventually i drive into this short driveway(gravel) and there is two houses, one on left on on right. i drove to the house on the left. i parked my car on the left hand side of the 2 car garage, and as i got out of the car two kids came up and greeted me. as i went into the house i went through the lounge into kitchen where there was a woman standing there, i gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek and as she turns around i always wake up.

the weird part...

a friend of mine set me up with this girl. about 3 months after broke up with my ex.
and we talked a lot and had fun together. well i arranged for couple days off from work and went over to see her. well i was driving for like half hour and of course missed my turn and ended up taking a slight shortcut and coming back over a bridge and after the bridge there is my left turn on to the gravel rd. drove further on and eventually get to her driveway where there is only 2 houses, and yes her house is the one on the left. as i park my car on the left in the two car garage as her car is on the right, i open the door and these 2 monsters of dogs come to the car. so im shit scared and tell her (on the cellphone) to come out and take the dogs away. she says they dont do anything they are like her kids, her babies
so trusting her i went into the house, through the lounge and into the kitchen and there she was waiting for me. it was one of the best weekends i had.

eventually though we did break up. i think telling her about the dream, and describing her entire house like i have been there before when she offered to show me around must have been too much. i even knew the colour of the house inside and outside

:::placeholder post for when I get home so I can paste in a story from December about a bum offering me money to kill somebody... and then asking me for change:::

there was a girl called invisible29. She was a girl. And she WAs a girl. Then she died

I have a crazy story which i do not recall with much accuracy. It was a hallucination brought about by a combination of a 104 degrees fever and twice the usual dosage of a potent laxative.
From what i can recall, this story involves Star Trek, an alien race living inside my stomach to protect a crucial heat source, and me interrogating my feces.