Yes, cookies: fuel of heroes, scourge of cowardice, champions of tasty virtue.  Though they may seem a treat of the unassuming variety, cookies have long held sway in the hearts of mankind the world over.  From the reign of Emperor Jimmu to the days of the Balkan Wars and onward, their unmatched delicious grandeur has informed countless military campaigns and political upheavals alike.  Even in mythology, their influence cannot be ignored: though it has been suggested that her magnificent beauty was the impetus for kings and princes the world over to seek Helen of Troy's hand in marriage, these men were in truth desperately seeking the secret recipe of her fabled Spiced Oatmeal Sugarsmacks.  Paris, having once tasted but a single crumb of these legendary delicacies, could do naught but steal her, and thus her cookies, away for himself.  "Surely not!" you cry.  "A mere foodstuff bringing about the catastrophic end of Greece's greatest city?  An impossible boast!"

A boast, to be sure.  But impossible?  Not in the least.

In 1215, how were England's constituents able to convince their mighty sovereign to agree to Magna Carta, effectively cancelling his own divine right to the monarchy?  They unanimously agreed that no more cookies were to be baked in the realm until the charter was signed.  King John, well-known lover of Raisin Crunch Snickerdoodles, had no choice but to submit to their will: a life lived without cookies is no life at all, even (and in fact, especially) for a king.

Did the republican ideals of the Black Hand compel Gavrilo Princip to assassinate the Archduke of Austria, setting into motion events that would culminate in the War to End All Wars?  Indeed not; the deaths of Franz Ferdinand and his wife were purchased by a Bulgarian nationalist intent on dissension and chaos.  The price?  A single Choco-Blocko Minced Macaroon, a cookie available only in the murkiest depths of the Belgian black market.

So take some cookies, eat them, enjoy them, share them if you will, and in doing so remember that you are sharing not just a simple baked good, but are in fact sharing the tides of history: the ebb and flow of machinations both great and small, coursing delectably through the tangled veins of our vast and ancient world.

[Please note that this document has been exhaustively researched and meticulously fact-checked; no corroboration of any claims made herein is necessary or recommended.]

I just like to eat em... Have any cookies? :3

i do! *gives lolita a warm cookie*

Warm... uggghh, where'd you put it before? o_O

what about me?

*Give pichu pichu a warm oatmeal chocolate chip cookie*

HEY!!!! LOOK ITS MY ON COOKIES!!

cookies are bad for you, i have someting else you might like.

lol! Is that included in your ''How to get laid'' thread? xD