Forums - Website Topics - RISE OF THE N00BS!!!

The n00b domination is at full force

their a waste of forum space! There should be an option where if a certain amount of people vote a thread has no reliable factual bases and trolls for people to repeat the some old dumb arguments, then a mod will check it out and if it's junk it should be deleted. At least then the people who know and want to discus the industry don’t have to keep correcting the n00bs who know jack about anything.
 enough of the try hards, your like,  "I know so much about the industry that I can stand up and forecast the wii to fail and people need to take me seriously cos I’m such an expert!" 

the people who know and care about gaming shouldn’t have to scramble through n00b vomit just to find a few paragraphs of valuable information

Who agrees that too many n00bs speak their mind and end up dribbling out video gaming vomit? I'm tired of seeing smart people having to waste their time cleaning up after their FAILED forum attempts when there could be more valuable conversations going on.

http://www.vgchartz.com/forum/thread.php?id=24756 this is the stupid post followed by a massive clean up crew that has made me want to say something about this issue.

Keep it real guys, dont hate mario, hate the player

Currently playing:
Geometry Wars galaxies, Animal Crossing wild world, Pangya swing with style, SSX Blur

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Claude is a wii fan. He made the post to laugh at someone else's ideas, not to take it seriously. There are definitely examples of what you are talking about. I just don't think this is one of them.


waay to complex

What is the definition of n00b?

ok so its not the best example, but it was a noob artical (not written by the poster though) and it has caused many noobish noobs to reply in a very nooby way lol and it happens all over the joint. and your a newb* if you dont know what one is, otherwise look it up on google, then you wont be such a newb

*Edit: fixed up my newb spelling for the corect definition thanks to totalwar

Keep it real guys, dont hate mario, hate the player

Currently playing:
Geometry Wars galaxies, Animal Crossing wild world, Pangya swing with style, SSX Blur

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You are new and already calling people names...

I dont see a good future for you

SSBB FC: 5155 2671 4071 elgefe02: "VGChartz's Resident Raving Rabbit"   MKWii:5155-3729-0989

I could be the other extreme and be like John Lucas who predicts Nintendo Wii to reach 60 million hardware by the end of 2008. Lucas also predicts the Wii will sell over 250 million consoles LTD.

timmytomthegreat said:
What is the definition of n00b?

1. Noob


I. What is this?
This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs.

II. Defining 'Noob'
Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed.

Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading.

* Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum.


I. Noobish
Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as "n00bish." It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand.

stFU /../..an, i r teh r0xx0rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!`` !! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLL l u n00b

Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly.

II. Where to find n00bs
On the internet, n00bs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies. THE BANNER HAMMER is one form of authority.

Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear.

Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific.

III. Behavior of noobs
Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite agressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid sucession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate retard).

It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs.

Noobs have difficulty reading English and cannot comprehend the idea of authority.

Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening.

IV. Noob Religion
Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week.

V. More about noob habitats
Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish.

They will also have large, seemingly infinite marquees of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that.


I. Make sure you aren't one
Note: This section is bilingual so even noobs can make the discovery if they haven't already.

English (T4lk)-

Read the above parts of this guide carefully. If you find yourself unable to comprehend any of it but are instead beginning to think about how great you are and how awesome 'teh 1337' is, you might want to take one of the many available online quizzes to check your noobancy.

Noobish (133713371337)- Liek, u gott4 re3D teh gudieCAREFUl1y and tehn OMG LIEK I AM R0XX0RZ ya anD ify 0u turn into teh reTARDED u gota go 2 MY WEBP4GE LOLLOLOL!!111~11 ad check 4 warez n stfuu. if u r a n00b go2HELL LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!! !! a/s/l pos gtg n00b suxx0rz ur b0xx0rz OLOOOLOLLLL HELP HELP HELP 1337133713371337

II. Major noob avoiding strategies
The main factor in attracting migrating herds of noobs is a large, active forum. If you find one of these, look to see if it has the management to avoid noob infestation. If not, look for a small or mid-sized forum that covers the same topic so you can enjoy your time there before the noobs find it.

Another way to keep noobs from interfering with your life is to become part of the authority on one of these forums. But that's often hard to do so you'll probably be better off avoiding larger forums first off. If you do manage to become part of the authority, however, take full advantage of it and establish extermination policies so that normal people can have a nice time without noob infestations.

Noob Talk: LAlWAlwalwalWAWLAWLAWA!~! ~!~!!!11!!! 1M NOtttt N0000BZ



elegefe just cos I have a low post count and only signed up last year and acording to my VG status im a noob doesnt mean I havnt been on this site for years. i only signed up because I wanted to put my 2 cents worth into a conversation that i was reading at that point in time, other wise i would have remained one of the millions of visitors we see at this site ever day.

that article brought the dribble from one forum over into this forum, thats why I posted it, I have nothing against the person who created it but I do have a problem with the articles that provoke mindless and usless debate over worthless topics

Keep it real guys, dont hate mario, hate the player

Currently playing:
Geometry Wars galaxies, Animal Crossing wild world, Pangya swing with style, SSX Blur

Ultimate Life...I have no idea what you are referring to. Everyone who posted before you did in that thread was laughing at the source material. Did you miss the point that badly? You can claim all you want about how long you have been around here (as if that is an indication of anything), but the bottom line is that many respectful/respected posters posted in that thread with either laughs...or perhaps sarcasm that you failed to detect.

My advice...before you start trying to define this place and those who post in it....have a few more posts under your belt and a better understanding of those who post here.