Somebody recently called me a hipster on the internet. The accusation struck me as odd because I'm 37 years old and not exactly fashion-conscious, but the more research I've done on the term, the more I've come to fear that it may actually fit me nonetheless.

My Symptoms of Hipsterism:

-I own a record player.
-I often wear flannel overshirts.
-I also often buy second-hand.
-I like silent films.
-I prefer craft beer and indie-everything, more or less.
-I like Austin, Texas and have tried ghost pepper chips.
-I'm supposedly ironic and snarky.
-I have a smug appreciation of art games, B-media, and "those unscripted moments" in life.
-I've considered voting for Andrew Yang.

On the positive side tho, I haven't yet begun to gentrify urban America by moving into one of those little micro houses with barely enough room for movement; I don't have to move to find squalor that giant corporations avoid for fear of losing money to live in.

In all seriousness, I've never actually heard anyone call themselves a hipster before. It seems to be a term that people impose on people who like flawed and/or broken things basically. For example, I like record players because of the crackly sound they make. They're not perfect. There's just something human about that. We live in an age of steadily increasing automation where everything is getting crisper, cleaner, more technically flawless...more superficial and corporate. Helicopter parents schedule normal lives out of their kids so they can focus more or less exclusively on doing good in school and such because anything less than straight As is straight Fs. Anxiety and depression are on the rise because people are expected to be perfect and are human instead. It can lead one to yearn for something different; to relate to things that are flawed and to people who are broken.

So anyway, how do I remedy this problematic image I fear I'm conveying? Anyone? Teach me the ways of the sellout!

Don't worry. Owning a record player doesn't make you a hipster; it's makes you a realist. Record players just sound a hundred times better than any other medium (assuming your record and needle are actually in a good condition).

Just enjoy what you like and don’t worry about the labels.

Record players aren't hipster anymore, Walmart sells them now lol.

Anyway according to the definition we're all hipsters

A hipster is someone that's eager to learn, to see—and yes—even to do. Being a hipster means you're part of a subculture. As a demographic, hipsters try to set themselves apart from culture as a whole, while simultaneously remaining within the culture.

Like to try out new games, check.
Part of a gaming website (sub culture) check
Try to set apart from culture (casual smart phone gamers) yet owing a phone anyway, check

(Well I don't own a phone, extra hip lol)

I live in Round Rock right outside Austin. I mainly call people hipsters that wear tight jeans and have beards.

So if you don't look like a tool then you aren't a hipster.  I never thought girls could qualify as hipsters. I thought it was based on being male with beard and lady jeans size pants.

Here's the WikiHow guide to hipsterism for the femyles.

According to WikiHow's guide, I'm currently fulfilling 8 out of the 11 elements of the hipster dress code. (Differences include that I don't often do necklaces or scarves and absolutely never do purses, however "interesting".)

Hmm. Reading through this makes it seem like "hipster" is basically just another word for artist or art fanatic.

I just read that an aspiring artist just ate another artist's 120k exhibit in Miami Beach area which was a banana duct taped to the wall.  If you want to call that art then I'll start duct taping fruit to the wall.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2019/12/08/rogue-artist-ate-duct-taped-banana-art-basel-its-performance-he-said/

Liking quality doesnt make you a hipster, hoping to be seen with stuff does

*snickers*

That's...awesome.

I'm still just cringing at your use of the word "tho."