When i was about 6 or 7 years old i accidentally KILLED a chicken with a newspaper... im not even kidding.
A newspaper is not dense enough to have the mass needed to actually beat a chicken to death and I won't even get into the fact that at 7 years of age one's strength is even more limited for such a task.
So how on earth did you succeed in killing a chicken with a newspaper?
I was on a farm located in a mountain and i was playing with the chickens by throwing the newspaper at them, however because i was a child and i didnt had the strenght, every time i threw the newspaper at them the thing would just open up and all the pages would just fall to the ground.
However after the second try i took the newspaper and i rolled it up real good and i threw it at them and this time it didnt open up, instead it hit the chicken and because the farm was located on a mountain, said chicken rolled down the hill... and there was a lot of bushes filled with thorns on the hill from the beggining of it to the very end...
Yeah... the chicken rolled through about a 100 or more meters of bushes that had torns everywhere and it essentially suffered a death compared to a Mortal Kombat fatality... i remember crying that night telling my mom what i did and she actually laughed it off and told me it was fine, since it was an accident and all (not to mention i was a child).
EDIT: btw i was never expecting to actually hit the chicken since i was convinced i just didnt had the strenght at the time, i was just trying to scare them and in no way did i wanted to harm them, i was just a child that was being playful and... well it was just a sad accident.