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Locked: What to do when the girl you like just wants to be friends?

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Is Kapi a stupid bear?

Yes, very stupid 14 42.42%
 
A bit stupid 11 33.33%
 
No 8 24.24%
 
Total:33
Ka-pi96 said:
BraLoD said:

Good luck on your arrangement with her.

Just got home and... it went really well.

I had fun and it's the first time I've hung out with her since I asked her out and haven't ended up feeling depressed. The way I feel about her hasn't changed, but just being friends actually seems possible. I'll see how that goes for now.

I hope for the best.

As long as you are not counting for that friendship to eventually turn into a relationship (love or just physical) you are good to go.

If she does start liking you, great, if not, you'll still be having a good time.

Keep yourself open for another women, don't shut yourself so if another nice girl gets into your radar you can definitely move on, don't miss the chance because of that.

As long as you can remain open for liking someone else as she seems to be, you'll be fine.

You'll eventually be dating a nice girl, don't worry.



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So I hung out with her again tonight... because of course I did. I invited her and she came so... yeah.

Even offered to help her find a boyfriend. I've heard rumours that she likes a guy, one of my friends even, so offered to help. I might be shooting myself in the foot there, but I don't care. I'm finally ok with being around her again and I really do like her and want her to be happy, if that isn't with me then so be it. Plus, if she's with another guy that'll hopefully help me get over her.



Bet Shiken that COD would outsell Battlefield in 2018. http://gamrconnect.vgchartz.com/post.php?id=8749702

How come it says you are 27 in profile yet you act like you are 15 years old experience wise. Are you one of those kids that doesn't have human interactions in real life and only knows how to communicate through smartphone apps?



sethnintendo said:

How come it says you are 27 in profile yet you act like you are 15 years old experience wise. Are you one of those kids that doesn't have human interactions in real life and only knows how to communicate through smartphone apps?

"those damn millenials i tell you, only like to get on their phone things and not talk eye to eye, when i was a lad,i tell you i got ALL THE GALS, because how can you not be super secure about being in love? Those silly kids and their feelings thing,i tell you."



Finale said:
sethnintendo said:

How come it says you are 27 in profile yet you act like you are 15 years old experience wise. Are you one of those kids that doesn't have human interactions in real life and only knows how to communicate through smartphone apps?

"those damn millenials i tell you, only like to get on their phone things and not talk eye to eye, when i was a lad,i tell you i got ALL THE GALS, because how can you not be super secure about being in love? Those silly kids and their feelings thing,i tell you."

More like I knew my place better.  I had multiple girls in high school that we were just friends.  The problem here is that he needs to learn not to be controlled by women while he is still dating.  Women aren't supposed to control men till they are married.

He is being controlled by her because she still is fine being friends but only that even though he wants more.  However it seems he is content on being in a fucked up relationship defined as only friends when he wants more.  The healthiest thing for him to do is to move on relationship wise because he is just wasting his damn time with her.

Oh and I'm a damn millennial also by definition.  Not that I enjoy being lumped into a group filled with....  I'll leave it at that.

Last edited by sethnintendo - on 08 June 2019

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sethnintendo said:
Finale said:

"those damn millenials i tell you, only like to get on their phone things and not talk eye to eye, when i was a lad,i tell you i got ALL THE GALS, because how can you not be super secure about being in love? Those silly kids and their feelings thing,i tell you."

More like I knew my place better.  I had multiple girls in high school that we were just friends.  The problem here is that he needs to learn not to be controlled by women while he is still dating.  Women aren't supposed to control men till they are married.

He is being controlled by her because she still is fine being friends but only that even though he wants more.  However it seems he is content on being in a fucked up relationship defined as only friends when he wants more.  The healthiest thing for him to do is to move on relationship wise because he is just wasting his damn time with her.

"Woman arent supposed to control men until they are married" my god,you really sound like a grandpa. Id hate to have your idea of love and relationships. 



Finale said:
sethnintendo said:

More like I knew my place better.  I had multiple girls in high school that we were just friends.  The problem here is that he needs to learn not to be controlled by women while he is still dating.  Women aren't supposed to control men till they are married.

He is being controlled by her because she still is fine being friends but only that even though he wants more.  However it seems he is content on being in a fucked up relationship defined as only friends when he wants more.  The healthiest thing for him to do is to move on relationship wise because he is just wasting his damn time with her.

"Woman arent supposed to control men until they are married" my god,you really sound like a grandpa. Id hate to have your idea of love and relationships. 

I meant to add in exception maybe dating but he isn't even dating here. 

My love life?  Been with older woman going on over 10 years.  No plan on marrying her due to her age.  I plan on upgrading to a younger model in few years.  Don't worry I already told her multiple times throughout relationship what she was getting herself into.



gamingsoul said:
I usually don’t double post in a thread but I disagree with so many comments.
First of all what friendship are you talking about there was never a friendship, the guy wanted to seduce the girl and he failed, he says it feels different now, off course a few days ago he thought he could sleep with the girl now he knows all he can do is buy her free drinks, if you want a great friendship just call your real friends and play some smash or something, don’t you have enough friends already?
For girls it’s very convenient to friend zone guys they get free company, free meals, free entertainment etc, no wonder all men dread the friend zone while girls say it’s wonderful to have “close friends”.
Another thing I disagree is the idea to become cold because people want what they can’t get, if she liked you she should be kissing your feet right now, if she doesn’t, being stone cold won’t change that.
Like someone said if you want to be more attractive to women find yourself a good job and earn good money, going to the gym could help too. Lower your expectation Might be a good idea, maybe you are searching for women who are out of your league.

This is a fairly rough view to take of girls, you know if you have a guy friend who enjoys your company... you're not buying them drinks at bars or paying for their meals if you meet for lunch right? Having a girl in your group of friends is the same as that... but she has a vagina. Feeling the urge to pay for their stuff or that they expect you to pay for theirs isn't a friendship there is something wrong with that relationship right there.

As for the OP, I think you should just suck it up and move on, I mean if you do have loads of feelings for her and you end up pairing her up with another guy you're just going to be always secretly hoping that he isn't good for her or that they argue and she see's the error of her ways and comes back to you... the real fact of the matter is that all relationships have ups and downs, those aren't going to result in her back in your arms or if they do she'll probably regret it fairly heavily as the thing that's ruining her other relationship and you'll just be the blame for that. There are quite literally plenty more fish in the sea, she isn't into you in that way, put her on the shelf as someone you chat on messenger with for a laugh or whatever but the relationship thing, put that in the same prio as all your other friends, if you wanna go hang out if you got free time go for it, don't be tripping over your boner when she clicks her fingers for your company, if you got something else on you gotta have her in your mind as the mate she is, not who you want her to be.

Also gotta say this... if she gets a boyfriend, he isn't going to be letting her spend any time around you, as much as you'll be the guy she tells him not to worry about, no guy lets his girl hang about someone that clearly is hungry for her.

Alternatively.....

(you could see if she has an interest in watching some 80s sitcoms with you.. such as the Cosby show!)



Fancy hearing me on an amateur podcast with friends gushing over one of my favourite games? https://youtu.be/1I7JfMMxhf8

Ka-pi96 said:
So I hung out with her again tonight... because of course I did. I invited her and she came so... yeah.

Even offered to help her find a boyfriend. I've heard rumours that she likes a guy, one of my friends even, so offered to help. I might be shooting myself in the foot there, but I don't care. I'm finally ok with being around her again and I really do like her and want her to be happy, if that isn't with me then so be it. Plus, if she's with another guy that'll hopefully help me get over her.

It'll break your heart if you succeed or fail in this, there's no way your heart will be okay with seeing her getting railed or treated badly by a guy you set her up with, whichever way it goes you'll feel responsible for what's happening with her that you are not in control of.



Fancy hearing me on an amateur podcast with friends gushing over one of my favourite games? https://youtu.be/1I7JfMMxhf8

Pinkie_pie said:
Japanese ... cant have sex until marriage. 

The Japanese, and most Asian cultures that I am familiar with, are no different than westerners in this regard. Some conservative clowns say stupid crap like that. But that stop being the norm 50 years ago.