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Locked: What to do when the girl you like just wants to be friends?

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Is Kapi a stupid bear?

Yes, very stupid 14 42.42%
 
A bit stupid 11 33.33%
 
No 8 24.24%
 
Total:33

Guys have to have at least equal educational status to the girls they want to date. Pref. women want a guy above them in educational status.
Guys are trapped to a gender role. Guys have to show they are desired by other women (in demand). This is why so many women fall for married men, and so few value single, unpopular men.
Guys have to show they are respected by other men.
Guys have to show alpha male traits and be assertive.
Women just have to be healthy looking (as in not being fat). Simple as that. An average-looking female as soon as she walks outside will have dozens of guys ready to date you. As a man you have to work hard as hell just for one girl to look at you.
Men have to do all the first moves and must prove himself a good catch. Women only have to sit there and not be fat.
Women can get the numbers of 180 men out of 200 guys. Men if lucky can get 5 numbers out of 200 women.
At the end of the day as a man I question my existence as a man. Is life really worth it if women and society only need you for utilitarian purposes?

As an average-looking male I'm freaking tired of this disposable feeling I get when I'm around females in general. I've seen it so many times when a guy is sick of his gender role in the world of dating ALL women discard his existence while other men punish him for it.



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Um... just be friends. That's all you got, buddy. 



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Pinkie_pie said:
Ask her why shes not attracted to you and what you could do to make her like you. Japanese women dont find fat men attractive

Now I am getting conflicting info, I had a Japanese girl say there is a few that do, they like sumos, and if they whiter the better lol.



 

 

Ka-pi96 said:
Immersiveunreality said:
I feel sorry for you ka-pi.(polar bears also deserve love)
You will keep thinking of her for a while but it might be best to try and make some new female contacts and maybe you will meet a better match,just don't torture yourself over this too much and try to not give yourself too much false hope .Good luck!

Thanks. And I have other female friends, was hanging out with one today even, just none others that I'm interested in romantically. I do still think of her, but I'm not giving myself any hope at the moment so that's not an issue. Getting ready to move onto other girls too, not quite there yet... but soon!

Look at you ladies man.  You go get them!  Sure you might have felt connected to one your interested in but I'm sure you'll find one just as good or better.

Just remember lick it before you stick it!



Cobretti2 said:
Pinkie_pie said:
Ask her why shes not attracted to you and what you could do to make her like you. Japanese women dont find fat men attractive

Now I am getting conflicting info, I had a Japanese girl say there is a few that do, they like sumos, and if they whiter the better lol.

I think they viewed it as a luxury like in middle ages time when fat people were attractive because that means they had money to eat unlike serfs.  Now anyone can get fat from McDonald's or unhealthy eating so not so much luxury anymore since anyone can do it.



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ok here is my take on the 12 pages so far

1) was wondering when Dark_Lord_2008 would make an appearance. Longer than expected.

2) The good old fake accounts come out to provide some advice (5 comments in 12months and this just happens to be one lol?)

3) Soooo many guys half glass empty here, Maybe even less than half empty.

4) Ka-pi, you are not meant to go from liking her to offering to hook her up with a friend in the space of 48hours. Felt like I was watching some anime plot here lol..


My advice would have been (before you offered her help).

Women love a man that other women are interested in (well at least in my time of courtship lol). If she sees other women into you they will think they have to be into you. So you have to manipulate them to be into you is what I am saying. The success of this plan depends on how much you want to be with this girl or not and how much you willing to risk it (i.e. the friendship) to get the biscuit.

My wife and i started as friends for a year, when i told her I liked her, she told me she didn't feel that way blah blah blah, the typical speech. I could have rolled over and done what everyone here said and give up move on, cut her off, float down the river, however I executed the above advice a few months later she gone from not interested to what would i do without you, and presto 14 years later still together.

Now may advice may be irrelevant in this day and age, I really don't know. Too many people with no goals in life floating happy to just make it to the next day and not worry about the future.



 

 

sethnintendo said:
Cobretti2 said:

Now I am getting conflicting info, I had a Japanese girl say there is a few that do, they like sumos, and if they whiter the better lol.

I think they viewed it as a luxury like in middle ages time when fat people were attractive because that means they had money to eat unlike serfs.  Now anyone can get fat from McDonald's or unhealthy eating so not so much luxury anymore since anyone can do it.

Ah, thanks for explaining it (or at least coming up with a reasonable assumption). It is an interesting culture for sure. 



 

 

Cobretti2 said:
sethnintendo said:

I think they viewed it as a luxury like in middle ages time when fat people were attractive because that means they had money to eat unlike serfs.  Now anyone can get fat from McDonald's or unhealthy eating so not so much luxury anymore since anyone can do it.

Ah, thanks for explaining it (or at least coming up with a reasonable assumption). It is an interesting culture for sure. 

Yea was just pulling something out my ass because only thing I know about Japanese culture is the male is still very dominate (however maybe this has changed some but doubt it in heavy traditional culture).  I just went back to history books of fat.  I don't mind a medium set women myself just gets to a point when heavy fat rolls aren't attractive to me.  Fat women usually give good bjs though because that's the most practice they get.  Most guys might be like have sex ewww but you want to suck my dick.  Okay go ahead.  Just a shame a fat girl that can't give good head.  It's like they failed in life.  What good are you?



The top 10% of men who understand women, are confident in themselves, and know what they are doing monopolize all the desirable women. Dating is fun and easy for these men, but is hard and frustrating for the remaining 90%.

The reason for this is because the demand for them is a lot lower than the supply.

Men are usually wired to make the first move, and attractive women naturally get hundreds or thousands of messages from guys a day. The high levels of perceived interest allows women to increase their standards and reject most of the men that reach out. The high amounts of rejection is what causes some men to become bitter or give up on dating.

Women don’t get rejected as often simply because they usually aren’t the initiators, so they don’t experience as much hardship as men.

Another reason why dating is harder for the 90% of men, is because the skillset needed to succeed in dating as a man is much more complex than that needed to succeed as a woman. To increase her prospects in dating, a woman just needs to look better by exercising and eating healthy, and maybe picking up a hobby or two to have something to talk about.

A lot of work goes into increasing a man’s prospects. As the likely initiator, he has to learn how to initiate and lead a conversation properly, build impeccable self esteem, be experienced in social situations, have a vibrant social life, have a vision in life, and have a promising career IN ADDITION to looking better by exercising and eating healthy. These things take time, continuous effort, and multiple failures to achieve.

Getting a decent date for the 90% is hard. If a man can’t get a decent date, he will not get any opportunities to practice and improve, and will be eternally sentenced to a frustrating love life. Women get more opportunities than men, which is why dating is harder for men.

Not having any older male siblings/cousins or male role models makes it harder to learn how to act and what moves to make. Men that are on their own with little or no social networks are hugely disadvantaged in dating game. Pick Up Art game is comical and has been proven a big lie that only makes desperate guys look like idiots and lose money for a program that does not work. Dress up and look funny and insult women and fake confidence to pretend to be Alpha Male is not going to work in the real world.

Last edited by Dark_Lord_2008 - on 09 June 2019

Ka-pi96 said:
Immersiveunreality said:
I feel sorry for you ka-pi.(polar bears also deserve love)
You will keep thinking of her for a while but it might be best to try and make some new female contacts and maybe you will meet a better match,just don't torture yourself over this too much and try to not give yourself too much false hope .Good luck!

Thanks. And I have other female friends, was hanging out with one today even, just none others that I'm interested in romantically. I do still think of her, but I'm not giving myself any hope at the moment so that's not an issue. Getting ready to move onto other girls too, not quite there yet... but soon!

If you hang with another women she or another one is likely to get interested on you too.

That's why you shouldn't bother much about it, keep living your live normally, hanging with your friends and being happy about it, keeping interests on any girl you feel like and not running rounds around her, and eventually it'll work out with one of them.

You'll get a nice and cute japanese girlfriend sooner than latter, I'm sure of it. You are a cool bear.