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Why do some men choose to remain single and give up on women?

Forums - NSFW Discussion - Why do some men choose to remain single and give up on women?

Men choose to remain single and give up on women?

They do not want to becom... 9 8.57%
 
They do not want to change! 11 10.48%
 
They do not need a woman'... 3 2.86%
 
They do not want to conform to society! 5 4.76%
 
They have busy life and d... 8 7.62%
 
They are a man-child and ... 13 12.38%
 
They are regarded as a lo... 15 14.29%
 
Modern feminism double st... 18 17.14%
 
Other! 23 21.90%
 
Total:105
SpokenTruth said:
CladInShadows said:

That kind of fits into the whole "wants the best possible father for their young" theory.

Oh, I know.  But you have to spell out those things to certain other individuals.  Namely, the exact people I was alluding to.  Otherwise they won't get it. 

Actually, they probably still won't get it.  Let's watch and see.

Methinks not. But good on you for being persistent.



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Dark_Lord_2008 said:

I know life was never meant to be fair, but when you begin to understand the disadvantage having this disorder puts you at it really is depressing. There's a reason why approximately 35 percent of individuals with Asperger's are attending college, but yet people with Asperger's have a 75-85 percent unemployment rate. The average person underestimates how important social skills and being able to interact with others naturally like a "normal" human is, but when you lack that ability you are truly screwed in our society.

The really sad thing is there is hardly any help for adults with Asperger's. It seems like as soon as you turn 18 society forgets you exist and already expects you to be able to be a "normal" person. Unfortunately for many of us this is when our problems begin to get a lot worse. There are some work readiness programs for people with Autism, but many of these problems focus on individuals with medium functioning Autism who want to work for minimum wage and learn basic social skills so they can reach that goal. For people like myself who understand social skills in theory, and know they are capable of doing much more than working for minimum wage, there is nothing.

The problem is employers want to hire people they view as confident, high energy, and in general fun to be around. When you have Asperger's (especially combined with anxiety and depression like I do), this is literally impossible. I can pretend to be the characteristics viewed as positive by potential employers, but I still come across as awkward, not being genuine and in general very low energy and boring thanks to my monotone voice which is out of my control. I feel like next time I should just tell employers at interviews that "to be honest I do have Asperger's syndrome which can make it difficult for me to interact with others at times, but despite this, I truly believe that having Asperger's also will make me a harder worker than the other people applying for this job, as I am eager to prove myself, take pride in my work, and am more than qualified for this position". Unfortunately I believe if I said this I'd immediately be taken off of a company's hiring list as soon as I said that word Asperger's.

I don't really know what else to say other than I'm tired of the same thing over and over. I know that I am intelligent enough and a hard enough worker to be able to have a respectable job. I know that I am attractive and interesting enough to be in a relationship with something. I know that I am adventurous enough and kind enough to be a good friend, but I can't do any of these things because of the expectations that society puts on social skills. The thing about Asperger's is there is literally nothing wrong with many of us, it's just our society that makes a problem out of it. I truly believe that the world would be a much better place if everyone had Asperger's.

I will keep it short as I need to go to work.

But with applying for jobs, this applies generally to everyone.

1) You need work experience under your belt, not many hire vanilla employees, especially non minimum wage jobs.

2) Sometimes you need to swallow your pride and work minimum wage, whilst you are looking for a job in your field. 

3) use point two in your cover letter when applying for the jobs you actually want. Shows that you aren't a bum and willing to work whilst you look for better employment opportunities.

4) With some jobs you need dumb down your skills as they are too scared to hire people that are over qualified as they get bored and leave within a year.

5) I SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN SEND THEM YOUR FUCKING RESUME!! COVER LETTER ALONE MEANS STRAIGHT TO THE BIN. IF SHOWS YOU ARE THAT INTERESTED. THERE IS A FINITE AMOUNT OF WORK SO YOU NEED TO SELL YOURSELF

6) EVERYBODY LIES, THEY OVERSELL THEMSELVES A LITTLE TO GET THE JOB. AND NO I DO NOT MEAN YOU TELL THEM YOU WERE JAMES BOND, JUST THE SHIT YOU WROTE THAT YOU SUCK AT. 



 

 

I stare at women and I never say a word to them.
Wearing dark sunglasses makes it less obvious.
I do not need to ask women out just to be rejected endlessly and no reason given.
How can you improve if you do not know what you are doing wrong?

In regards to employment I do not have a job agency or anyone to apply for jobs for me.
I am incapable of applying for jobs and trying to explain due to my disability and various issues.
I am now on the disabled pension so no longer have to apply for jobs.

Endless failure and rejection only added to my problems and I learned nothing.
I was doomed from the start and destined to be a loser in life!

Last edited by Dark_Lord_2008 - on 09 January 2019

Dark_Lord_2008 said:

I stare at women and I never say a word to them.
Wearing dark sunglasses makes it less obvious.
I do not need to ask women out just to be rejected endlessly and no reason given.
How can you improve if you do not know what you are doing wrong?

In regards to employment I do not have a job agency or anyone to apply for jobs for me.
I am incapable of applying for jobs and trying to explain due to my disability and various issues.
I am now on the disabled pension so no longer have to apply for jobs.

Endless failure and rejection only added to my problems and I learned nothing.
I was doomed from the start and destined to be a loser in life!

With women you can't just ask them out you need to do the song and dance to they feel comfortable around you. Can't just approach a random on the street and say lets go out.

As for work there are plenty of agencies that help you find jobs.

Salvation army employment services is generally were centerlink send you there to ensure you get your payments. They should be able to help you. They even show you how to write cover letter, resume and roll play interviews.

I offered help to read your cover letter and resume. I even gave you a template that has worked for me earlier. The key point being ALWAYS SUBMIT your resume.

 

 

 



 

 

Cobretti2 is the ultimate bro.

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I do not know what jobs I would have been capable of doing and I do not have a car license to get to work because well I failed my car license twice around 15 years ago and just gave up like I do with everything else in life.
Ideally work from home and make money from not having to interact with others is my preferred employment situation.
The disabled pension is a set and forget payment and there is no requirement to look for work.
Before I got onto the disabled pension I was with a Disabled Network Employment Service.
For many years I struggled with Job Network agencies that only made my problems worse and they did not understand.



Dark_Lord_2008 said:
I do not know what jobs I would have been capable of doing and I do not have a car license to get to work because well I failed my car license twice around 15 years ago and just gave up like I do with everything else in life.
Ideally work from home and make money from not having to interact with others is my preferred employment situation.
The disabled pension is a set and forget payment and there is no requirement to look for work.
Before I got onto the disabled pension I was with a Disabled Network Employment Service.
For many years I struggled with Job Network agencies that only made my problems worse and they did not understand.

I don't have a license either. I use public transport.

If working alone is your best option the seriously learn to program website. Plenty of work in the field.



 

 

I knew at 16 I had the intuition and insight that all women will never accept me.
My parents had just broken up and I decided I never wanted to experience rejection like that in my lifetime.
I blamed myself for years that my parents had broke up and I dropped out of school because I could not accept it.
Years went by where I did nothing with my life.

So far I have been proven right not to waste time asking women out.
They will always say no and they will never give me a chance.
I know women would always say no and never give me a chance and no point trying and failing.
I do not say hi or smile when random women say hi or smile.
It must be a cruel joke and I just walk on by and ignore them.



Dark_Lord_2008 said:

I have extreme Social anxiety, paranoid schizophrenia, avoidant personality disorder, bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Aspergers Syndrome/Autistic spectrum disorder. My conditions severely impair my ability to work with other people, inability to cope with criticism, prone to anger and the emotional maturity of a small child.

I have deluded views on the world I find it hard to differentiate between reality and fantasy. I speak in a robotic monotone voice. I avoid eye contact. I am extremely socially isolated and a loner. I keep to myself and I do not engage conversations and I avoid social events. I try to avoid conflict and found it is better to avoid social situations because I have a tendency to be a jerk towards other people.

I have Asperger's" is no excuse. If a kid says something rude to you, you tell them why it was rude and why they shouldn't do that. If an adult does the same, and you rebuff them, and they just say "I have Asperger's, so I do that," then you tell them to go f**k themselves. If they say "oh, sorry..." then you accept their apology. People with Asperger's can learn social skills and not be a jerk. People can overcome it through effort and practice, so using it to excuse as*hole behavior is bullshit.

Due to my impairments I am on welfare and I do not actively have to look for work or study. Being long term unemployed and mental heath issues and various barriers made me a lost cause and no need to apply for jobs. The more barriers and issues you have the longer time you spend unemployed the less chances you have of gaining employment.


Unemployable = undateable! No wonder I never had the confidence to approach and talk to women. I am ashamed of my life and there is not much I can do about it. I have now accepted the reality of my life and I have nothing to offer.

I used to have a Disney fairy tale view of the world everything would fall into my lap: employment, business opportunities, winning the lottery, friends and women. I would not have to do anything for it, it would magically come to me if I believed enough.

Bruh, I know it sucks, and I can't pretend to understand what you're going through, but - I do feel I exhibit some of your traits (pretty sure I have many traits of social anxiety and some of autism), and I really feel from my perspective that you just gotta play the hand you're dealt. That's all you can do. You can't control the mental/physical state you were given, but you can control what you do with it. If you do that to the best of your ability, and maintain a positive outlook and try to be a kind person to others and treat yourself well, good things will happen. Maybe not as well as you'd like but it will.

I watched a Boogie video once that helped give me hope. In it he said something like "maybe you were thrown into a game in extra hard mode, well.. beat the game anyway".

I've had zero luck with women and I haven't had much of a robust job history myself, but I try to remain positive and don't give up. I just keep fighting. I try to look at it as, it hardens my resolve and strengthens my character. At the very least, I try to maintain a calm peace about myself. That's all you can do.



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Dark_Lord_2008 said:

I stare at women and I never say a word to them.
Wearing dark sunglasses makes it less obvious.
I do not need to ask women out just to be rejected endlessly and no reason given.

Dark_Lord_2008 said:

I knew at 16 I had the intuition and insight that all women will never accept me.

So far I have been proven right not to waste time asking women out.
They will always say no and they will never give me a chance.
I know women would always say no and never give me a chance and no point trying and failing.
I do not say hi or smile when random women say hi or smile.
It must be a cruel joke and I just walk on by and ignore them.

Stop this.  ALL of this.  You make massive presumptions about women and then blame your problems with them based on those presumptions.

How the hell can you say no women would ever talk to you when you have sworn off ever talking to them?  You haven't been proven right about women because you exist in your own self-fulfilling prophecy.

"I do not need to ask women out just to be rejected endlessly and no reason given."?  Can I have some of that mind reading power?  Get over yourself for 5 minutes, look into some of the excellent resources that I and others have given you and get some help.  You keep saying you've accepted your situation but you haven't accepted a damn thing.  You are still in anger, bargaining and depression phases of grief.  Acceptance requires that you are content with your situation and you damn sure aren't.  Worse is that your situation is largely a fictionalized reality you've made up.  YOU have chosen to live in a world where there is an absolute and universal rejection of you by women.  You have manifested your own fiction borne from your insecurities and realized through a projection u[on women of your own rejection of yourself.

Get help.



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