Women don't give as much importance as we do to the physic.
They are mostly attracted by our "level of insertion in any kind of hegemonic network".

these threads are normally a strange read so tagging this for later and I'll get back to make a full reply!

Yeah, in the end, the perception of the person is what draws other people to them (not what is actually going on in that person's head because people aren't psychic). I have been in the situation where I behave all the ways to come off as confident in social situations, and people are later surprised to find out I am a huge introvert with a lot of insecurities and neuroticism.

I think for the most part that perception is usually not too far off from the truth, but I also think there are plenty of cases like me where people are "faking it to make it" even though it's sometimes just easier to stay home and not try at all.

I will say, when I put in the effort, I get a lot more response from both potential romantic interests and friends. And being 33 and having 3 of the 6 total sexual partners just this year (that's 50% of my partners in less than a year where I put in resolve vs the other 50% over a 12 year span where I was too afraid to even ask someone out), I can guarantee that putting in effort works. Being 33, I can also say an old dog can learn new tricks if he or she steps outside of his comfort zone.

It's just not going to work every time and one has to be ready for a lot of rejection between the few that go for it. I got plenty of "not interested", ghosts, misleads. This year, I actually rejected 3 opportunities, myself, because I didn't feel the situation was right, and half the year I just didn't seek out anyone (turned off apps, didn't go out, etc.), so I'm not talking as a person that has a lot of experience or game. Just someone very rational that knows it's a numbers game and you'll eventually get something if you actually try. Which, from reading a lot of these posts and sounding like this for most of my adult life, it sounds like a lot of these people are too scared of rejection to try. So they blame their lack of output on factors they can't change instead of focusing on the things they can.

Yes there is discrimination, nobody denies that, but many posters have definitely tried their best to help the OP and gave him the best advice possible: stop whining and gain self-confidence instead. But looks are not what drives your self-confidence up or down, but rather positive feedback-loops do. Looks are one way of gaining positive feedback but they are not the only one. Doing sports is a very good way, as some have already said, eating healthy, being nice to others, being nice to yourself. These are the first steps.

Let's compare this with something we love, shall we? Gaming!

Life is unfair, OP. There is no sugarcoating. Life is hard and frustrating. But then again, life can also be beautiful. You as the main character in your real life rpg are the hero. You are the one who needs to take down all the evil shit that plagues you and your beloved ones so that everyone can see the sunny side of life again. Nobody else, only you. You may find some party members along the way to help you and to make life easier. But still, in your personal rpg, there is nobody who is more important than you. So life has turned the gameplay settings extra hard for you, OP. Well, what do we do in a very difficult rpg where everything strikes you down and every NPC is annoying and all your party members somehow leave you due to story events or get swapped in and out? You start grinding! You have to make up for the difficulty. You start exercising to become stronger, you develop new skills to help you get more diversified. You might want to change locations and reach new areas. You may want to do some sidequests, too. And along that hard and very long way you will fight all your inner evils and you will start to feel the accomplishment. You just need to press Start, and then actually start something. Because you will have to defeat slimes and goblins first before you can take out the dragon king.

When I or others talk about confidence, we're not saying that this is the ONLY thing people judge and the OP is baseless in his complaints. What I am saying is that people who think like him tend to focus on things they can't change instead of the things they can.

Yes, people discriminate for all types of reasons including attractiveness. This is coming from somebody that is short (slightly below average so I won't say I am way short or anything) and an ethnic introvert minority living in a majority white area.

It takes more work for me to fit in groups that are different to me than the average person from this area, because people are automatically going to gravitate to what is familiar. But if I focus on all the reasons people won't like me, I'll never move forward to get what I want.

Having an undergrad degree in psych and working with delinquent populations, I had a problem with sticking to the field, because I saw that a lot of the science was used for explaining "why" but the people who most used the services to get better (happens to be institutionalized people, because most people don't have money to go to a shrink and find ways to get over their neuroticism) couldn't be forced to get better if they didn't want it.

There are ways to get over these things, but a lot of it is literally changing perspective. It's recognizing unhealthy thinking patterns as well as learning healthy coping mechanisms. A lot of that is actually ignoring these thoughts that, although based in reality, don't lead to a solution.

Venting is a good thing, but even then, seeing a therapist myself, I have learned it's not the end all. Sometimes you have to say "no, I am not going to keep this train of thought" in the middle of negativity, because you know that that focus will lead you into more depression, more self-pity, and nothing good.

I'm always looking for solutions instead of just asking why. Probably why I ended up getting another degree in Comp Sci and moving onto software development, lol.

Mate I know an autistic person who's been in a relationship for 4 years. Even goes camping with his GF. Now I don't know were you it on the spectrum but put it this way, I tried to help him setup paypal for 4 hours and he couldn't do it. I know people that aren't autistic who have say damn he must be one confident man cause I can't get a GF what am I doing wrong.

People have already said it, self belief that you deserve something, confidence and positive outlook on life will overshadow everything else  

Hell I know another autistic person who is married and has 3 kids.

Oh, I don't know. I see a few responses that are effective denials, either that there is any discrimination, or that it is actually a problem. Most of them, actually...

The "best advice possible" is probably to consult some professional, or a trusted loved one, or etc.; not to seek life advice on a video game sales forum from strangers. But if we are going to discuss these things, then part of what you describe as "whining," I would say is trying to come to terms with a real situation.

If a black person came to you and said that they experience discrimination in the housing market on the basis of the color of their skin, I don't imagine your response would be, "stop whining and rent somewhere else instead." Or maybe it would be? I don't know you. But that wouldn't be my response. It may be the case that renting somewhere else instead might be the best thing to do -- or maybe it would be to lodge some legal complaint, or etc., I don't know. Yet acknowledging the fact of the discrimination and the unfairness of it, I think, is not fairly characterized as "whining." And moreover I suspect it is psychologically necessary in order to effectively deal with the situation.

The OP is a bit dramatic, it is true, but look at it again: "Lets face the facts, unattractive men are NOT popular. [...] Its starts off in pre-school, where popular boys shun unattractive boys and form the early pecking order [...] come puberty, it becomes more apparent and the shunning gets worse as your identity develops. [...] Attractive people make friends way easier, are usually popular, etc. [...]  Making friends is more hard. [...]"

A lot of this is true, or could at least be a true description of an individual's particular experience. You think it's helpful to respond, "stop whining" or to dismiss those concerns? I'd say, rather, that it's first important to acknowledge what's true -- and that it sucks -- and then to work on ways to improve the situation.

To look at this from a slightly different perspective? My six-year-old daughter has cerebral palsy. It will make many aspects of life much, much harder for her than other people (as it already has and does). She will have to make great efforts to do many things that most other people take for granted, and the attitude I'd like to cultivate in her (to the extent that I can) is one of resilience and persistence. She must have a "never say die" approach to life, or else she is utterly screwed.

But. There are going to be times when she feels frustrated by her difficulties and by the unfairness of her situation, as already sometimes happens. When her friends have time to play, for instance, but she has to go instead to physical therapy, or occupational therapy, or speech therapy, or so forth, she might say, "it's not fair" or "this sucks," and she's right. It's not fair. It does suck. She still needs to do the best possible thing for herself (which here probably means going to therapy); she cannot wallow in misery. But I would be doing her no favors if I dismissed her feelings, told her to "stop whining," or acted as though she doesn't really have any disadvantages.

Absolutely right.

And my point, in part, is that when we observe that "you have to make up for the difficulty," part of the process is in recognizing and acknowledging the difficulty. I understand the OP largely as an attempt to do this; if it is tinged by lament or other hurt feeling, I'd guess that's understandable. It does suck to be rejected. If we really mean to be helpful, I'd think a measure of empathy is important, as opposed to the sort of dismissive attitude I think most people have taken.

Well said.  taking some pride in your appearance, taking care of yourself, and that kind of thing is probably worth a good bit more than actually looking good. And it doesn't matter what if you start out as a 0 or 10, you can always take pride in your appearance and take steps to improve yourself.

Yes discrimination exists but do you think fat ugly people are the only ones that experience this?

People with red hair, midgets, disabled people, coloured people, old people and even women get discriminated against. For some people it is a way to make themselves feel better if they think they can in their narrow minded head think of a reason why they better then the person they talking too. This will never be stamped out in our life time if ever.

At some point in your life everyone will be discriminated against some way or another without them realising it. This is out of your control. What is in your control is how you go about making your life better. Dwelling on how much it sucks will not fix that. We have all been there, hell I as there for 8 years thinking no woman wants me and I was still hung up on an old crush. Then one day I said i'm wasting my life away feeling like this and moved on. You need to get up when the punches hit you. 

Hell I am ugly, extremely fat (probably 3x her weight) and even look like a hobo with long hair and beard, been with my wife for 10 years, married 3 years.  She earns more than me, so it ain't about my money that I earn. She just found me to be funny and smart and able to think levelly on my feet in extreme situations. Before I met her, i was in my mental down state thinking whats the point the world is against me.

Male friends I never had issues making. It is easy to make male friends through sport. I wasn't the best at sport but I always tried and always provided positive outlook on the game. Hell I was the captain of three basketball teams for my primary, secondary and and work social league during my playing days lol. Even then I was overweight and not the fasted man on court. I even played soccer, football, baseball etc just because i loved sport, was never going to be even a state level player but enjoyed every minute of it.

A real, doable thing that I've seen work in real life, and that the OP can certainly do -

Find one or two trusted female associates that are not your mother or Aunt, or something like that. A sister might work, but some friends or associates would be best. They need to be people that are not afraid to tell you the truth even if you're not going to like to hear it. Ask these people what they think you should do to improve your physical appearance. Inevitably they will tell you that you need some help with your clothing selection, among other things. Do the things that they say. As for clothing selection, ask them to go with you and help you pick out a few things. Don't whine and cry about how they're not your style. Then proceeded to wear those clothes. If they tell you you need to lose some weight, get on that. Even if your 200 pounds overweight, losing 50 lb goes a long way. Losing a hundred pounds does a lot more. If you're 25 lbs overweight, losing 10 or 15 will make a very significant difference.

if you take the steps, plus whatever other stuff they suggest to you, not only will you become more attractive, but you will inevitably become significantly more confident. Now you've knocked out the original problem you mentioned in your post, and taken advice that many of us in here have given you. More importantly than that, you'll have taken advice that people that know you well have given you. Their advice is very likely to be correct, much more likely than the stuff we say on here.

Do that stuff, and report back to us next Thanksgiving about how much your life has improved. There is a 100% chance that you will be reporting positive improvements. I have seen this work in a friend in real life. I have also done this, though a bit more informally, in my own life. It worked well for me. I am 5 feet 6 inches tall, had terrible self-confidence issues in my teenage years, and really just didn't have my life in a very good place. But, by the time I reached my late twenties, I owned a reasonably successful business, had a beautiful girlfriend, after a couple of years of dating other attractive women, and otherwise had a good life. I later broke up with that girl, spent two years actively dating and getting laid, even though my business was going in the shitter in the crash of 2008. I had my shit together, had my confidence and my person in order, and my life continued to be good. Here we are now, 10 years later, and I'm married to an attractive woman, business is good again, and my life continues to be good. A lot of this goes back to me taking actual steps to improve myself, rather than wallowing in self-pity and blaming others for not understanding me or my situation or whatever.

Please, OP, take some of this advice and do something with it.