You?  Probably not.

Joke and satire threads have a long and glorious history on VGChartz, and I wouldn’t be so quick to lump this type of exercise in with the kind of mean-spirited trolling that kills conversation and debate. 

However if you think this thread is breaking forum rules you can always report it.

* Switch selling less than Wii U and 3DS combined is meaningless and doesn't in any way mean Switch is not successful.
* The Switch is a hybrid, not a replacement for Wii U or 3DS, it is more akin to a 3DS and Wii U in one, which means it is a replacement for a 3DS AND a Wii U. Users only need to buy one Switch to replace both their Wii U and 3DS.
* A Switch in a household gives the whole family a device to play on, while 3DS is a personal device.
* When you look at software sales, the Switch sold 87 million software and nearly 20 million hardware in 16 months - this is a higher attach rate than both the Wii U and around double the attach rate of the 3DS.
* This is also in no way measures decline since a large portion Wii U owners were also 3DS owners, people do not buy a separate Switch for handeld and home console play. It's not a handheld or a home console, it's a handheld AND a home console - a hybrid, in other words.
* Taking the above points into account, Nintendo has sold 87 million Switch games by June 30th according to Nintendo, which is significantly higher than Nintendo's numbers for 3DS and Wii U software combined for the same time frame, despite the fact that Wii U had two holiday seasons.
* Nintendo's total revenue for FY2018 was 1.06 trillion yen, the highest of any year since before the launch of the 3DS, double the revenue for most years of the 3DS/Wii U era.

And as far as total profits go:

The Wii U was a very unappealing console for that software, so games like Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed were irrelevant releases for the Wii U as a result.

Neither of these things have anything to do with negative success. The best Wii games are Nintendo games and online is behind a paywall on PS4 - both consoles are massive successes. In fact, Nintendo selling high amounts of first-party software equals greater success, since that gives them the most profits.

EDIT

Damn, it's far too late for me to be on the Internet... completely flew over my head that this was satire =P

Y'bastard =D

I suppose I'll go and debunk the Onion next.

Excellent writeup. A few points you overlooked:

Exhibit I - We are now in the 4K era and Switch games regularly fall short of even 1080p. As more and more people buy 4K TVs, they will stop buying Switches.

Exhibit J - PS5 and Nextbox are just around the corner, and nobody will buy a Switch once those consoles are out, just like nobody bought a DS after the PS3/360 released, a 3DS after the PS4/Xbone released, a PS1 after the Dreamcast released, a PS2 after the 360 released, or an SNES after the PS1/Saturn released.

I am a little surprised by both the overall number of magic beans that have been sold, and also by the identity of some of the customers.

I mean this is a better thread than that "Nintendo did not learn anything from the Wii U Thread" :p

Really? 

That is not criticism, at all. That is just rude.

By the way, my reply wasn't meant to humiliate you. My links were supposed to show that, just like what happens quite often regarding you, you completely misunderstand my intentions. Just as you misunderstood me in that one thread, you misunderstood me in this one. 

My comment was a joke. The errors in grammar were intentional. But if you just didn't get the joke, that would have been fine. You can't expect people to see things your way all the time. However your oddly rude, combative response came out of nowhere and was inappropriate as well as unjustified. 

By the way, a mild, innocent list of things I agree with in regards to a different person's perspective is not an "argument". In fact, it is basically the exact opposite of an argument. But why would I expect you to understand that, when you don't understand basic concepts like jokes and double standards. 

Have a good day. 

You forgot to add that the Switch dosent have Netflix.This alone is a big enough reason to warrant an Exhibit I to your list of arguments.

Or the ability to call and text.

OK, I'll bite.  This thread may be satire, but the points are still a lot more thoughtful than they guy who recently said, "The Switch is making the same mistakes as the Wii U."  On this forum the OP is actually a victim of Poe's Law.  (Or perhaps I am the victim.)

Exhibit A - Switch is the successor to both the Wii U and 3DS, and it's selling slower than its predecessors

The most important thing to a business is profitability.  This is even more important than market share.  (Although the Switch is doing great here too which I will explain in the next paragraph.)  Nintendo had terrible profitability during the 3DS/Wii U years.  In fact they had to cut the price of the 3DS from $250 to $170 after about 8 months on the market.  This caused Nintendo their first loss that they have ever posted since they have been in the video game business.  On the other hand Nintendo's profits have been up ever since they've started selling the Switch.  Their profits are much better than anything they posted during the 3DS/Wii U years.

Also Switch has better market share than either the 3DS or Wii U.  The 3DS took an early loss in order to get a majority share of the handheld market.  Nintendo effectively has 100% market share of the handheld market.  The Switch's only potential handheld competitors are the 3DS (Nintendo's last gen handheld) and the Vita which has just announced that it is about to be discontinued.  Switch also has a larger chunk of the home console space than the Wii U ever had.

Exhibit B - Nintendo continues to make smartphone games and their new CEO Furukawa wants to grow that business

100 billion yen sounds like a lot, but it is only $910 million (US).  Nintendo made $1.62 billion in profit in its last fiscal year alone and it's still just getting going.  Mobile is just a secondary source of revenue that also markets Nintendo's IP at the same time.  Their core business is still the console business.

Exhibit C - Nintendo's stock price has dropped by approximately 25% since March 2018

Investors are fickle, but I can somewhat understand this.  Nintendo hasn't released a major first party title all year that compares anywhere to its top 4 games of 2017.  It has big games slated for this holiday and once the holiday sales figures are in, investors will be happy again.

Exhibit D - The 3DS was a better portable than Switch is

The Switch has a much bigger screen than the 3DS and also has a better library including GOTY, Breath of the Wild.  Both of these things greatly increase how much a person enjoys a handheld console.  Also battery life varies wildly according to what game is played.  I suspect one reason that indies are so popular on the Switch is that you can play these games for tons of hours without having to recharge.

Exhibit E - The Wii U had better third party support than Switch

Western third parties gave token support, only porting over very old games the first couple of years and then support dwindled.  Switch already has thousands of games in its library which is far more than the Wii U ever had.  Also, going by the last direct, third party support for the Switch is increasing in both quantity and quality.  Civ 6 is exclusive to the Switch console, not to mention other PC ports like Diablo 3 and Cities Skylines.  Katamari Damacy was originally a PS2 exclusive and of course all those Final Fantasy games were always assumed to never come to a Nintendo console, but now they are coming to Switch.

Switch already has great third party support and it is getting better as it goes.


Exhibit F

This is your worst point and it doesn't even warrant a response.

Exhibit G - The best Switch games are Nintendo games

The top selling games on every Nintendo console are always Nintendo games.  This was true on the NES and SNES.  This was true on every Nintendo handheld.  The Switch is not any different than any Nintendo console that has come before.

Exhibit H - Online multiplayer has been put behind a paywall on Switch

I personally don't like paying for online services for any console, but it isn't too different from what their competitors are doing.

Conclusion

Switch has been doing great so far, and yet this is only the calm before the storm.  Nintendo has been holding back on their big first party releases until the holidays this year.  We also know a ton of great third party games are coming in the near future, and we only have a taste of what is coming in 2019.  The Switch is about to take off like a rocket.  Clear your Switch backlog while you can, because a ton of great games are about to come out.