I know what you mean man, I have a lot of those descriptors you listed myself, at least in some form or another. I think it is on the mild side but I believe I had some degree of social anxiety as well - I guess you can say it oscillates in severity depending on how much I push myself to get out there vs stay isolated, or just my particular state of mind at the time. Sometimes I can be naturally social and free wheeling, whereas other times I get extremely uncomfortable and withdraw from conversations, and if I do engage I turn out being very awkward or saying something odd. I also have a difficult time translating 100% of the ideas in my brain verbally on the spot, without stumbling through it, leaving out key details, etc. I don't have a ton of friends and I find it difficult to keep up relationships, particularly with more "acquaintances" or "buddies", but I do have the fortune of having a core group of a handful of good friends, along with a pretty cool, supporting family of which I'm pretty close with, including my cousin.

But yeah venturing out into social situations, particularly where I don't know many people can be a grind on me mentally. Almost had a freaking panic attack covering games at my first E3 last year heh. And I was completely dreading making a 2 minute wedding speech as the best man and getting on the dance floor at my cousin's wedding for several weeks, if not months beforehand. But ultimately I power through major events like these and while it all doesn't go perfect, they typically end up being not even close to the disasters I foresee them to be, and many times I find I quite enjoy myself. I ended up taking up an overnight gig for 2 years lugging heavy boxes around, partly because I'm a bit of an insomniac and night owl anyway, but mostly just to avoid dealing with too many people when working.

I think the best thing to do is to force yourself to get out there at times and be social or get a bit out of your comfort zone, even if it's just little things here or there. That's not to say unwinding on on your own isn't valuable too, but it's easy to get comfortable in that position (at least for me) which ultimately just makes the anxiety worse when you finally do go out or do something social.

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) related anxiety and yeh it can be hell when your brain cannot turn off with these constant unrealistic imaginary scenarios (intrusive thoughts) that you feel could threaten/ harm your life, others, well being or things you like and value, etc.. It can be constant and you wish there was a simple off button you could just switch in your mind..Been off meds (Luvox) for a couple years cos I wasn't entirely confident they were effective. May need to explore alternative medication. What may seem like a silly thought for the normal person and discarded in seconds can be stewed on for hours, days and months by someone with OCD. It can be inconvenient and tiresome to say the least..

I was going to make a post but about how much I relate to this but then I read the last few paragraphs. Welp.

It sounds like you're improving. Good on ya mate!

I would describe anxiety as mental cancer, eating away at you until you can't take it anymore. It's hard

Wow, so much of that applies to me, it's almost scary.

I relate a lot to the first few things you listed, but luckily not to all of it.

Sleep is very important for your mental health. You may have tried it already, but you could look up sleeping tips on the internet or ask a doctor. It can really make a huge difference.

I have pretty moderate to severe anxiety at times. I almost always have a baseline anxiety that presents itself as mild chest pain, which I take lorazepam for as needed. Occasionally, however, and it's usually while I'm trying to sleep at night, things get much worse and I find myself becoming almost instantaneously tossed into a state of panic where it feels like I'm having a heart attack and I can't catch my breath. That's far less frequent, especially when taking a benzo, but it definitely sucks. One thing I've never been certain of is whether or not a heart attack can actually be triggered by one of these panic attacks. I would feel at ease if I knew it was just my body doing something weird and it would go away, but I can't help but worry every single time that there is a small chance that I die.

I can somewhat relate but I never had anxiety that bad as I have always managed to enjoy quiet time on my own to calm me down (e.g. video games, practicing basketball shots on my own for hours) and never really had a reason to interact in big loud crowds, other than go to a school with very few students (maybe 200 in total). Sleep for me has always been 3-5 hours a night and even less when I was younger. I could go a week without sleep but in that time I always kept busy doing something.

The only time i really stopped keeping busy with other activities was when I did year 11 and figured shit this is my chance to make something of myself and to get into a good uni degree etc. Now this was a huge mistake for me as it used to stress me out as i put full concentration on the one thing and then i used to second guess myself because i was worried of getting a crap score. well i did get a crap score because ironically it is possible to over study and doubt what you are doing is right during an exam. In year 12 I went back to my normal routine of keeping busy with other activities which essentially did not give me extra time to overthink and second guess myself. I did so much better that year that I ended up with a high score and got into Engineering.

"- Breathing is a weird thing. Sometimes it's all fine, but sometimes I feel like I'm out of air and start to breathe as if had just run a marathon."
That usually happens when you are over thinking something subconsciously and your body forgets to breath. For me this happens when I am walking and stressing about solving a problem that i did not quite get done at work trying to work out what the solution is at the same time as stressing. Then for the next few minutes i'll be taking deep breaths.

How I am today:
I still do find people draining but that got easier the older you got and the fact you have to work to earn a living and are always surrounded by people. At school you could keep quiet to yourself and just study. At work you need to interact so you earn to cope. Saying that by the end of the day I am so happy to be home and away from everyone so that I can do my own thing without anyone around. I go from being so drained to recharged the moment I walk in the door at home. So the class you are taking were you get critiqued will help you in future to cope with work, that is a good idea so continue doing that.

I still sleep bugger all hours, but I do not feel tired as I have managed to essentially as mentioned before keep busy so I do not have to stress about other things.

As for people outside of work, I really only have like 3-5 people I can handle that do not stress me out mentally and on a rotational basis to I spend time with them. I usually don't go to bigger events with my wife as they still feel like a drain. If I do go I just stand there in the corner with a drink wishing I was home in a quiet place lol. Essentially I only go cause of my wife.

So yer for an outgoing person, my life sounds like hell as they are energy vampires who feed of people to keep them going lol, but for me it's fine as it is as I have my own energy to keep me going.

Confidence for people who lack it (like I used to and still do to a degree ) I found it grows with age and wisdom and the fact the older you get the less you care what others think of you.

My landlord doesn't allow pets in the apartment ;-;

But I'm actually thinking about volunteering in the city kennel, I just have to find some spare time!

Good that you realize your problems and are able to share it. This is the first step towards something better. I just hope you're not like that guy here with the dolphin picture and be like ''I'm miserable and my problems cannot be solved''.

I can relate with a lot of your 'symptoms' because I suffered from depression (twice) and also an anxiety disorder. The biggest breakthrough for me (aka seeing the light) was when I realized my brain made me afraid of things that were not there and were not going to happen unless I made it happen myself. So I forced myself to do things I was afraid of everyday. Eventually I started doing pick-up (not having any sexual experience was part of my depression) and talked to hundreds of girls on the streets. Not only did it (finally) get me laid, it also gave me a huge confidence boost and social skills. Now I feel like nothing scares me anymore and I'm happier than ever. Look for Real Social Dynamics on the internet/Youtube. It will amaze you how much potential we have.