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Becoming "famous" has made my social anxiety worse

Forums - General Discussion - Becoming "famous" has made my social anxiety worse

 

Ljink96 said:
LordLichtenstein said:

I'm sorry to hear that.. I'm not a politician, but I'm an activist of sorts, trying to get a certain subject on the political agenda. 

Family and friends is unfortunately not a luxury I got. I was raised in orphanages and I kind of burned my bridges in terms of friends during my last relationship. 

Damn man, that's a raw deal. Sorry that you don't have family to turn to, but we're always here if you need someone to talk to. My issues are nothing compared to yours, no need to be sorry. But yeah still, stay safe. If you feel in danger, just do what's best. Don't try to stick it out if you think your accusations can get you into some real trouble with people who oppose what you stand for.  

Thanks man, I really appreciate it. You shouldn't compare your problems with others, if you got issues you need to talk about, I am more than willing to listen too. 

Ganoncrotch said:
We reap what we sow! You should see if there is any bridge not burned too much with your friends though, I always keep some close friends who know probably too much about me, it's good to have people to bounce things (like this) off and see what they think you should do. Many on here just know you as a username and avatar... perhaps you could ask your master for assistance.... lord vader?

I know fully well, that me having no friends at the moment is my own fault. Could I go back I would have done a lot of things differently. There is actually a story behind my username, my ex-girlfriend's last name was Lord and my middle name is Lichtenstein. 

TheBird said:
What are you famous for that encourages some people to go after you? I'm assuming you're famous in Britian or something because of your podcast on the BBC you mentioned, which is why I have no idea whats going on.

Instead of me avoiding the reason, I will make a post about what I did/do. No, I'm actually from Denmark.

Hiku said:
Are you able to convey this to people in your community?
That may prompt more people to be more considerate of your situation and not put as much pressure on you or ease up on the hate mail. You may also get support from your community.

I have made multiple posts on my SoMe accounts, telling people to stop threatening and harassing me. But it seems it just encourages people even more. It's fucking weird..

jason1637 said:
TheBird said:
What are you famous for that encourages some people to go after you? I'm assuming you're famous in Britian or something because of your podcast on the BBC you mentioned, which is why I have no idea whats going on.

Don't remember the specifics but I think he made a social media post or something that blew up in his country and meet lots of kind people.

Exactly Jason. I will make a post about it in a sec.

 

 

vivster said:
Maybe Twitter can help. Lots of supportive people there.

Everything will be alright, Patrick.                             

I never got into Twitter. I only use Facebook and Instagram.

Thanks Vivster. :)

Flilix said:
Ignoring the hate comments may be hard, but it's the only thing you can do. Whenever you get upset about such a comment, try to remember this: the good outweighs the bad, there are way more people who admire you than people who hate you. Also, these hate comments tell more about the person who writes them than about you. Some people don't realise the consequences their words can have. They feel protected by the anonimity that they have on the internet. They are always trying to hurt others. Their hate is usually a lot less genuine than all the positive stuff that other people say about you. You're putting a lot of effort into helping others, and you can only be proud of that.

I totally get everything you are saying, it's just, sometimes it gets to me. Last night I was in a vulnerable spot..

haqqaton said:

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm no profissional in any way but I've read about how exercises and meditation could help. The  anxiety is, in some sort, a lack of confidence.

You might try to start running in your neighbour twice a week to get more confidence; say 'hello' to some strangers while at it. I think it you will grow your confidence day by day, little by little and, in the end, you'll regain it.

Meditation could help too. It seems there are some researchs that corroborate that meditation is beneficial. I started reading this book: The confidence gap. Taking a class would be nice because of the new people you would meet.

In the end, what I really thing is that we overestimate the negative things people think of us. Most of the time they, in fact, don't care who you are or what you did. They can say something at the moment but if you don't  have an agressive response, they just let it go.

I wish you the best.

It is funny you should mention it, because of my ADD I recently started meditating and doing yoga. As of right now it hasn't had an effect, but hopefully it will in a month or two. Thanks man. 

BraLoD said:

I know the reason you got famous goes in the opposite direction of having many people around you, so it's a hard situation, but if you really don't want it anymore just tell the media you also want to have a normal life, you are not well suited for being a star, that's why you even got famous in the first place.
The people that follow you because they respect your example will probably understand it and it'll happen less often.
Yes, you'll be attacked by some people, they'll call you horrible things, but bro, just don't give a fuck, you are being attacked by some for doing good for people, that should tell you that'll ever happen, being famous or not, some will always hate you, people are like that.
You have helped a lot of people with your example and the expansion of it, if what you want is some peace and a normal life, where people will wave to you and say nice things in the street here and there and not crowd you, just tell them that.
You got famous because you were honest about how you felt, just keep being honest, some may hate you for that now, but many will understand just like they did the first time.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about quitting, but I also feel a certain kind of responsibility, if that makes sense? I have a platform right now and I have shown that I can make a difference. I is hard to let that go, knowing you could have helped someone, but you didn't.



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Wait are you the fat dancing man?



 "I think people should define the word crap" - Kirby007

Join the Prediction League http://www.vgchartz.com/predictions

Fuck it. Just be yourself the most you can in your situation and live a relatively normal. Keanu Reeves takes the subway, walks around as a normal guy and most people don't recognize him but he doesn't wear outlandish clothes.





“I am desperate to meet new friends. I’m lonely and going through the hardest period of my life. I’ll sit on the stairs in front of the town hall from 2pm to 8pm. I have black pants and a North Face bag on.” – written December 7th 2016.

I wrote this message on an app called Jodel, a European equivalent of Yik Yak. It is an anonymous forum, where you can write about almost anything and where anyone within 10 kilometers can see your message and reply. 
I had no idea at the time, that this very short message would fundamentally change my life as well as thousands of others.

I have lived more than half of my childhood and youth life in orphanages. An anxious upbringing with defeat, insecurity and violent assaults that have made me the person I am today; a person with very poor self-esteem and a deep inner sense of identitylessness. In September of 2016 my girlfriend of 6 years cheated on me and left me shortly after. My whole world came crumbling down and I was on the edge of suicide, and I got admitted to the local psychiatric hospital, but was released after an intense week of care and treatment.

I never had many friends and those few I had, I stopped seeing after my now ex-girlfriend and I got together back in 2010. I know, stupid. But
 there I was – with no family, friends or girlfriend. I was all alone. And in my desperation, I decided to write and send out the message you see above.



A lot of people read my cry for help and came to my aid – no less than 13 strangers decided to show up and give their support. I was so overwhelmed with joy, that I had to fight back tears. 
Many of them confided in me throughout the evening and told me that they too had felt the heart-wrenching pain of loneliness, but were too afraid of reaching out because of the stigma surrounding it.

The meeting went viral in Denmark and the next day I was contacted by Radio24syv, one of the largest public service radio stations in Denmark. I was also contacted by the biggest TV stations as well as numerous papers. 

At first I declined their offers, as I was afraid of the stigma and taboo, but after much serious thought, I decided to tell my story – not for myself, but for the good of others. I knew something had to be done about the increasing loneliness rates in Denmark (statistics show, that more than 350.000 Danes often feel lonely), so I took it upon myself to make a change.



I then started a free nationwide peer-to-peer network/nonprofit organization where lonely people could find new friends and someone who they could relate to. A network where you were applauded for showing your weaknesses and vulnerability. A network where we as a community would stand together against the taboo that is loneliness.



To help new members getting settled, I would invite them into my home each week for dinner, game nights or parties. It was very important to me, that every member had a good first time experience and would leave feeling part of a community.

By March 2017 (4 months after launch) the network had grown to 10.000 members and I had made the decision to drop out of my education as a programmer. It was not an easy decision, but a necessary one, as I wanted to commit 100% to my voluntary work.



In April 2017 I raised awareness about loneliness and mental health in Denmark by completing a 300 km relay walk from Copenhagen to Aarhus over the course of 10 days. 
The concept was; that under no circumstances was I allowed to walk, unless accompanied by another person. Through my walk I wanted to emphasize the importance of human interaction, social responsibility and community. Luckily for me, more than 70 people chose to support my cause by either walking with me or offering me accommodation and food. I only had to stand still twice during my walk, which was better than expected. 

All my efforts has since made the ambassador of the People's Movement Against Loneliness, one of Denmark's largest 
associations. Together we have decided to make 'March Against Loneliness' an annual event. 

A few months ago i completed this year's March Against Loneliness with the help of 350 people, an increase of 400% from last year's walk.




I know what it’s like to be known a bit too much and outside of your personal construct. Also what it is like to be completely shunned by what seemed like everyone around me for events taken out of context and I never would have anticipated. We all grow and are shaped in a variety of ways and have no control over it. Any of us can go out in the world and be in an accident, have a parent pass away, have a bad school semester, lose a job, etc. Many people have to leave their countries and start anew because of a variety of reasons they may not have expected. Life moves and shapes us at will. It is our path, our destiny. In many ways you should embrace it as your path, your growth. Many famous people have accepted and embraced early deaths at the hands of society because their path was clear and out of their hands. Yes you are you, but no matter how hard you try to control, life will either force you to grow and down your path, or you will be miserable trying to fight against it.

Always be true to yourself, but don’t worry, and don’t give into the rumors or hateful words. If you embrace your path and put your fears aside, then what will be will be and you will rise above the rumors and hate and become a symbol. A more complete and happy you. 



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LordLichtenstein said:

I really don't want to get into the specifics as to why/how I became "famous" in my home country, what I want though, is to say that every since I did, my social anxiety has gotten much worse, to the point that I haven't left my apartment in nearly a month, with the exception of grocery shopping 1-2 times a week. I feel extremely isolated, both physically and mentally, because I constantly have to walk on eggshells - trying not to hurt or offend anyone. It is a frustrating way to live..

I have received an enormous amount of praise over the last 1½ year, not only from the people of my country, but the national and international media as well. And while it is humbling, it is also quite scary. E.g. after I did a podcast on BBC in March, I received a lot of nice and kind messages on Facebook, but also some negative ones, telling me to go "fuck myself", "commit suicide" etc. I know they are in the minority, but I still can't help but let it get to me. 

To be honest, I don't know why I'm writing this, here of all places. Perhaps I just felt like telling someone..


It takes a certain type of personality to even want to be famous. As everybody else I too (when I was younger cause I matured since then) was dreaming of being famous, well not dreaming of it but I thought about it, especially when seeing someone successful and loved, like a movie actor...

Nowadays it is easier than ever before to become famous, well it's still not going to happen for the average Joe but with a bit of talent and know-how anyone can start a Youtube channel and if both talent and luck are on your side, anyone can become a recognizable face and have a consequent community of followers, sometimes big enough to consider yourself publicly famous (PewDiePie, Boogie2988, Vsauce etc...)

But fame is a double trap: First to yourself. The reason one needs fame is to be recognized and influential. In psychology, people that need to be strong on the outside (fame and glory) are usually weak on the inside, they can't function by themselves, they lack independence and so they need to feel they are the center of something important. Usually such people have money and can pay for servants, domestics, butlers and whatnot and they can't stand loneliness, someone must be around them at all times to see what they do and acknowledge their existence...

And second, fame is a trap because of its inherent dangers such as stalkers, crazies, threats etc which seem to happen EVERY time someone becomes famous and the more famous a person, the bigger the amount of crazies in their wake...

This situation has pros and cons: The pros being that the famous person enjoys a special status inherent to his/her celebrity. In my experience the more famous a person is the more haughty and arrogant that person becomes. Try to have a conversation with someone famous on social media and see how it goes. It's extremely rare that a famous person even replies to your tweet or post, like why are they on a social network that is SPECIFICALLY designed to communicate and reply if they're going to make it a one way experience of them saying stuff and ignoring everybody that replies?

I have managed to have short conversations with people that have limited fame and are not very important but the more they grow in importance the more they will ignore you. Try to have a conversation with super famous people and see if they will EVER reply, like George Clooney or Leonardo Di Caprio. You are shit to them, you don't exist, you are a worm not even worth trampling . They will only talk to important/rich/powerful people, marry such people, befriend such people etc...

On the other hand people that are strong on the inside (independent, not needing social approval, not giving in to cultural or peer pressure etc...) are weak on the outside, have no influence on anyone, are anonymous and in some cases (like mine) are isolated and end up comfy in such isolation, seek it and love it like I do (Yes I am a western Hikikomori). The last thing someone like me wants is fame. I'd be very uncomfortable just having my real name and face on VGC so imagine having my name and face followed by millions? What a nightmare to me!

And that's another con of fame I forgot to mention: The more famous you are the more judged you are. Everything and anything you do will be scrutinized, analyzed and judged. Oh this famous guy checked a porn site according to the press, how scandalous, this famous guy has a strong political opinion, this famous person has a girlfriend he's not married to or cheated on his wife/her husband etc... This is insane, famous people are still people why couldn't they have controversial opinions, check out porn sites, cheat etc? This is perhaps the biggest reason I don't ever want to be famous. I want to be able to do whatever I want without it being a media scandal. Yet famous people would NEVER give up their fame cause they are ADDICTED TO IT and don't care about the negative impact on their lives. I suppose the same could be said of politicians but that's another debate.

I want to finish this long post by making clear that I am speaking of fame and famous people in GENERAL, I am not saying this is exactly you or your story LordLichtenstein, I don't know you and cannot speak of your specific situation, I'm GENERALIZING here. (Exception made of that paragraph where I speak of the opposite and hikikomori people like me cause obviously I know myself and so I can speak of myself).

Last edited by CrazyGamer2017 - on 27 June 2018

.

I'm sleepy, time for a nappy!

I'm really sorry you're going through this. Sometimes it's hard no to listen or care what other people say about you, but the important thing is that you're doing something great, not only for yourself but for other people. You should take the high road, be happy and proud of yourself.

No matter how good of a person your are, some people will criticize and say negative things about you. Keep up the good work.



Who are you?



 

Everything in the above reply is my opinion, from my own perspective and not representative of reality outside of my own head!

-Android user, please be gentle with critique on my spelling.

LordLichtenstein said:



“I am desperate to meet new friends. I’m lonely and going through the hardest period of my life. I’ll sit on the stairs in front of the town hall from 2pm to 8pm. I have black pants and a North Face bag on.” – written December 7th 2016.

I wrote this message on an app called Jodel, a European equivalent of Yik Yak. It is an anonymous forum, where you can write about almost anything and where anyone within 10 kilometers can see your message and reply. 
I had no idea at the time, that this very short message would fundamentally change my life as well as thousands of others.

I have lived more than half of my childhood and youth life in orphanages. An anxious upbringing with defeat, insecurity and violent assaults that have made me the person I am today; a person with very poor self-esteem and a deep inner sense of identitylessness. In September of 2016 my girlfriend of 6 years cheated on me and left me shortly after. My whole world came crumbling down and I was on the edge of suicide, and I got admitted to the local psychiatric hospital, but was released after an intense week of care and treatment.

I never had many friends and those few I had, I stopped seeing after my now ex-girlfriend and I got together back in 2010. I know, stupid. But
 there I was – with no family, friends or girlfriend. I was all alone. And in my desperation, I decided to write and send out the message you see above.



A lot of people read my cry for help and came to my aid – no less than 13 strangers decided to show up and give their support. I was so overwhelmed with joy, that I had to fight back tears. 
Many of them confided in me throughout the evening and told me that they too had felt the heart-wrenching pain of loneliness, but were too afraid of reaching out because of the stigma surrounding it.

The meeting went viral in Denmark and the next day I was contacted by Radio24syv, one of the largest public service radio stations in Denmark. I was also contacted by the biggest TV stations as well as numerous papers. 

At first I declined their offers, as I was afraid of the stigma and taboo, but after much serious thought, I decided to tell my story – not for myself, but for the good of others. I knew something had to be done about the increasing loneliness rates in Denmark (statistics show, that more than 350.000 Danes often feel lonely), so I took it upon myself to make a change.



I then started a free nationwide peer-to-peer network/nonprofit organization where lonely people could find new friends and someone who they could relate to. A network where you were applauded for showing your weaknesses and vulnerability. A network where we as a community would stand together against the taboo that is loneliness.



To help new members getting settled, I would invite them into my home each week for dinner, game nights or parties. It was very important to me, that every member had a good first time experience and would leave feeling part of a community.

By March 2017 (4 months after launch) the network had grown to 10.000 members and I had made the decision to drop out of my education as a programmer. It was not an easy decision, but a necessary one, as I wanted to commit 100% to my voluntary work.



In April 2017 I raised awareness about loneliness and mental health in Denmark by completing a 300 km relay walk from Copenhagen to Aarhus over the course of 10 days. 
The concept was; that under no circumstances was I allowed to walk, unless accompanied by another person. Through my walk I wanted to emphasize the importance of human interaction, social responsibility and community. Luckily for me, more than 70 people chose to support my cause by either walking with me or offering me accommodation and food. I only had to stand still twice during my walk, which was better than expected. 

All my efforts has since made the ambassador of the People's Movement Against Loneliness, one of Denmark's largest 
associations. Together we have decided to make 'March Against Loneliness' an annual event. 

A few months ago i completed this year's March Against Loneliness with the help of 350 people, an increase of 400% from last year's walk.


That's pretty epic. 



 

Everything in the above reply is my opinion, from my own perspective and not representative of reality outside of my own head!

-Android user, please be gentle with critique on my spelling.

It seems that from your loneliness something good arose: you found comfort in other and others found comfort in you.
Who said that people suffer in vain? It seems you found your call: who better than someone who suffers, to understand those who suffer and help them? :)
Don't let your pains be in vain…

There's two things you can always do when going through hard times: given in and let those feelings control you and dictate your life or you can not give in and you use it to improve yourself - and others.
The choice is always yours.

Find your way to handle this thing you are going through now.
Go out when there's few people outsider, if it helps (at night or really early). And then take a bigger step.
Sorry for the exemple, but imagine you are quitting smoking: you can stop alltogether or you can take babysteps. Make goals for yourself that you know you can achieve.

Last but not least, as a Christian, i believe that what we grow threw (the good and the bad) are not bigger than us. They exist to make us better people and bring us closer to God - again, the good and the bad.
Don't be afraid to embrace the bad and accept it. You can do it!