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Forums - NSFW Discussion - How to satiate sexual desires while maintaining respect for women?

curl-6 said:

Consider the social environment our generation finds ourselves in; you can't just walk up to a random woman and start a conversation; unless you're super attractive you'll be consider a creep, unsolicited social interaction is treated almost like assault these days.

Honestly, if I was single and looking for a relationship (sexual or otherwise) with a woman, I'd ask a lawyer for help to write a waiver, you 

know, prevention.



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You looking at it all wrong. Porn is fictional. So a few die in the process, why does it matter? It i no different then celebrities (e.g movie stars and rock stars) who OD or commit suicide. What I am saying here is most would probably die because of their life style choice outside the porn they make instead of because of porn.

It is all about the buzz, the more popular you are it is harder to be happy when you have experienced such a high, hence why we see some celebrates push the boundaries and eventually die early. It is a double edge sword.

You could say the same thing with people and money. The more you have the happier you are but that happiness lasts shorter and shorter each time you buy something more expensive then the previous time. Yes you have all the items in the world but are you truly happy on a spiritual level? There is that turning point where too much becomes a trade of with happiness.

To conclude you should treat porn as fictional and don't expect real women to be your sex slave lol. This is how you maintain respect for women. Although some women enjoy a bit of dirty stuff but not all. If that is the kind of woman you need in life when you find one, put a ring on it as they say lol.



 

 

curl-6 said:
John2290 said:

As for men not returning the favour because porn tells you  not to....my god you millenials are fucked up, do you not talk to women or your partners or in groups at all anymore. You remind me of Polygot speaking this way like human interaction and sex is some kind of computer like interaction, It's disturbing.

Consider the social environment our generation finds ourselves in; you can't just walk up to a random woman and start a conversation; unless you're super attractive you'll be consider a creep, unsolicited social interaction is treated almost like assault these days.

Over the last 20 years a socially inept young  generation without hope has been created. Society, poor parenting and lack of education have created a lost generation. More people staring at screens with their heads down and walking around like zombies, people have lost the ability to communicate in the real world. The good old days are long gone and will never ever return.



Faelco said:
o_O.Q said:

ok maybe we could argue that this particular study isn't the best, but come on you can't really seriously be arguing that women are not objectified by men constantly?

First of all, you can get rid of "constantly" and stop saying "men" as if we were all the exact same beasts. Over-generalization makes any argument worthless. 

 

And then, you can't seriously think that only men objectify women and not the opposite. 

 

I worked a few months in Japan in a factory with mostly Asian female students part timer (Vietnamese mostly), I was the only European guy there. I can tell you that I felt like a blond and white piece of meat exposed for them to giggle, whistle, watch non-stop and touch anytime they could. I got my arms, pecs and ass more touched than ever. It was so much that I stopped taking elevators, I was tired of the "So much people, it's tight, come here against me!" and other harassment. 

Even back in France, it was a lot more rare, but I've been whistled a couple of times with "Hey, you! Want to fuck?" or "Want to get married?" by groups of girls on benches in my city. They were surely doing the same with all guys passing by. 

 

So no, the SJW bullshit about only men being rude to women and never the opposite is just wrong and tiring. Stop being blind about an entire side of the issue, and your opinion will gain value. 

"And then, you can't seriously think that only men objectify women and not the opposite. "

 

its not the same, the missing element here is that you aren't acknolwedging power

men have for centuries dominated women in a patriarchal system that has resulted in women being a suppressed class below men

what this means is that men are far more privileged in society than women and as a result you cannot do a direct comparison of objectification

 

"First of all, you can get rid of "constantly" and stop saying "men""

have you seen the metoo hash tag?

stuff like this?

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/02/21/587671849/a-new-survey-finds-eighty-percent-of-women-have-experienced-sexual-harassment



Jaicee said:

So my input has been directly requested on the grounds that I am female. After reading a few pages of the replies, honestly I think I can understand why. However, it should be said that I'm just one person, and hardly an expert in curing addictions of any kind. I find it a very daunting, indeed impossible, task to try and represent all women with my one voice, my one lived experience, and even more impossible to try and posit a definite, viable path out of any kind of addiction. Therefore I will simply voice my own opinions.

The truth is that I can't really relate to the problem that VGPolygot relays in the OP. There are many reasons why. First of all, I'm a lesbian, and by that I mean properly lesbian, not bisexual. The general contents of online pornography have never been especially relatable or appealing to me hence for obvious reasons. Secondly, I'm also a product of a different time. I grew up mostly before the average person had an Internet connection of any kind, let alone the convenience of smart devices and cable-based download speeds. (You can probably tell as much by the fact that I still reflexively capitalize the I in the word Internet. :P)

When I was a teenager, "porn" most often meant the kind of material one found in Playboy magazine, which was just models and prominent women posing nude (and duly airbrushed) astride various pieces of furniture, and most men didn't spend a lot of time consuming it. As recently as 2002, a Kinsey Institute survey found, for example, that just 25% of the male population in the United States reported having digested pornographic material within the preceding month. In my observation, men who felt that they needed visual aid to masturbate generally turned to only semi-pornographic material, such as the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue or the general contents of MTV, and even that was considered somewhat controversial. Seems quaint now, doesn't it? But I think it's worth adding that I never related much to that world either. I think women who are attracted to women often have different criteria for what constitutes beauty. I know I did.

My own teen years were lonely, both romantically and sexually. I discovered my orientation gradually, through experience, and lived (and live) in an area that is very conservative, where practically nobody who is gay is out as gay, myself included. I tended to believe that there was something wrong with me. Sometimes I found fronts to avoid scaring my parents, like fake-dating the one gay guy I knew of as cover so I'd pass as straight. Masturbation? I used my imagination. So that's where I'm coming from.

Anyway, I was asked specifically "how you feel pornography has affected people's views on women". Personally, I feel that stories like this and this illustrate where the potential lies. More commonly, I think the fact that a recent survey found that 53% of male teenagers and 39% of female teens believed that the typical material in online pornography was "realistic" shows that it is affecting what kind of sexual relationships men and women have more and more often, starting at a young age. I mean basically I think what men learn from digesting the kind of material that is readily available today is a sense of not just entitlement, but obligation to always be sexually dominant, perhaps to the point of abuse, and what women learn is that we're supposed to feign enjoyment of pain and suffering and never think of getting off ourselves. I think it may also be worth taking in that many of those "rough" videos one can find online are not faked. Many of those are recordings of actual rape, to judge by the testimonies of women who survive them.

I guess if you feel that you cannot successfully masturbate without aid, then the route I would most recommend might be something like what Farsala suggested on page 3. But also bear in mind that what Contestgamer said shortly thereafter has some key truth to it: one should not kid themselves; there is no "respectful" form of pornography (real or animated). There are no such things as legitimate amateur sites that I'm aware of (they're all paid actors too). "Lesbian" porn is also clearly made with a male target audience in mind, to judge by the fact that 100% of them are the perfectly "femme" kind that men prefer to look at and tend to act more like men would act. But I will say that it's no coincidence that the most common porn-related search term even among heterosexual women is "lesbian". That's because so-called lesbian porn is the only kind out there that focuses on clitoral stimulation instead of penile stimulation.

The most important thing though is simply that one realize that pornography isn't realistic in its conveyance of what pleases people (especially women) in real life. Very few women enjoy things like anal sex or delivering oral sex or being hit in any form of fashion, for example (and I would question the self-esteem of those who purport to, for that matter), and the women who pretend to in online porn videos themselves are rarely exceptions to these rules. Simply realizing that is the most important thing really, I believe.

 

way too much rationalisation of pron as being ok in this thread, good to see someone setting the record straight



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AngryLittleAlchemist said:
Faelco said:

First of all, you can get rid of "constantly" and stop saying "men" as if we were all the exact same beasts. Over-generalization makes any argument worthless. 

 

And then, you can't seriously think that only men objectify women and not the opposite. 

 

I worked a few months in Japan in a factory with mostly Asian female students part timer (Vietnamese mostly), I was the only European guy there. I can tell you that I felt like a blond and white piece of meat exposed for them to giggle, whistle, watch non-stop and touch anytime they could. I got my arms, pecs and ass more touched than ever. It was so much that I stopped taking elevators, I was tired of the "So much people, it's tight, come here against me!" and other harassment. 

 

So no, the SJW bullshit about only men being rude to women and never the opposite is just wrong and tiring. Stop being blind about an entire side of the issue, and your opinion will gain value. 

This user is literally an anti-feminist. 

He has told me before about how much he likes Ben Shapiro because he "destroys  those feminazis"

You are just being trolled. 

complete nonsense i have never said that i am anti feminist

what i am is completely for women's empowerment but i do think some recent actions by feminist have undermined women's empowerment

feminists are not some kind of monolithic block with no variation



Farsala said:
 

As I said earlier, mainstream porn is trash. People believe in that trash like they believe drinking alcohol is a good thing or that watching tv is somehow a better thing than playing video games.

With that I said I would be very interested in your opinion of porn like Reddit gone wild. Are they not amateurs? They are tons of people who aren't getting paid and tend to hide their faces. But it is indeed porn.

I honestly don't know. I'm not on Reddit. When I think of places like Reddit and 4chan, I think of fascistic alt-right people and threats of violence. I try avoid those particularly troublesome types of places for my own sake.

o_O.Q said:
AngryLittleAlchemist said:

This user is literally an anti-feminist. 

He has told me before about how much he likes Ben Shapiro because he "destroys  those feminazis"

You are just being trolled. 

complete nonsense i have never said that i am anti feminist

what i am is completely for women's empowerment but i do think some recent actions by feminist have undermined women's empowerment

feminists are not some kind of monolithic block with no variation

Friggin' Ben Shapiro? Seriously?

Last edited by Jaicee - on 28 April 2018

Oh humans with their petty problems



Just a guy who doesn't want to be bored. Also

Eagle367 said:
Oh humans with their petty problems

Have you somehow transcended humanity?



VGPolyglot said:
Eagle367 said:
Oh humans with their petty problems

Have you somehow transcended humanity?

In many things I have not, but I am not always thinking about sex or who to have it with and stuff like that. That all seems pretty to me. I would much rather focus on anything else in the world.



Just a guy who doesn't want to be bored. Also