By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use. Close

Forums - General Discussion - When Does It Become Wrong To Keep Someone Alive?

As some of you are aware, I'm a caregiver for a variety of people. And something you see a lot in my side of the industry is death. A lot of it. If you're unlucky enough to work at a facility you sometimes see people die daily. Of course, over time you become desensitized by it. But I still see some people who are in such bad condition that I think to myself: Are we keeping them alive because they want to, or because WE want to?

Let me explain a scenario I saw a few months back:

There was a girl whom I didn't work with but saw often and overheard about enough to get an idea of what was going on. This girl was in her late 20's who was at a facility I was temporarily filling in for, the thing about her is she was riddled with cognitive and physical issues. But the most stand out thing was she was constantly suffering from violent seizures every few minutes.

All day, and all night the seizures would occur. At night she'd be screaming and moving around violently in bed (from what I heard in my clients neighboring room), she was in a lot of pain from her body slowly but surely killing her by deteriorating -both muscle and bone. She was on the brink of losing her ability to speak as well, every time she talked it was very stressed and clearly painful and barely audible. Over the course of my stay she was also losing her ability to control her limbs. Of course these were just stand out things, there was more to it than that. 

Eventually I asked her nurse how long she had left and the nurse said, "Not too long. But, she's been getting to this point the past 5yrs. Honesylu, my recommendation was to have her pass away peacefully, but her parents didn't want that so we've prolonging her life as much as we can."

I asked her if the girl ever asked to die because of how horrible she's been suffering. She answered with, "Well, she has. From time to time. But her parents have control over that decision and they said no. Besides assisted suicide isn't legal in this state. Her parents just can't stand the thought of not having her in their life anymore, regardless of what it does to her. I don't think their intent is malicious though."

But I don't know maybe I'm wrong and we should keep people alive for as long as their guardians want. But I do feel at some point, eapecially in this case, it could be seen almost as abusive to do it. Thoughts? I know this is a heavier topic XD



Around the Network
twintail said:
They don't want to lose their child so they are acting perhaps a little irrationally.

I think it's case by case. I don't think one answer solves everything. But if the person expresses their desire to pass away in that situation then perhaps respect it.

Oh no, I wasn't looking for a definitive answer XD thats why I asked when it becomes wrong. Which I think makes it sound more case-by-case



Did they ever try cannabis for the seizures?



sethnintendo said:
Did they ever try cannabis for the seizures?

Yes, and it didn't work. At the point I was there they were using much more powerful stuff, but she was really too far gone at that point. Not much was going to work



StarOcean said:
sethnintendo said:
Did they ever try cannabis for the seizures?

Yes, and it didn't work. At the point I was there they were using much more powerful stuff, but she was really too far gone at that point. Not much was going to work

Damn sounds like she was pretty much screwed.  Sometimes we take health for granted and we don't realize how fucked up shit can get real quick. 



Around the Network
sethnintendo said:
StarOcean said:

Yes, and it didn't work. At the point I was there they were using much more powerful stuff, but she was really too far gone at that point. Not much was going to work

Damn sounds like she was pretty much screwed.  Sometimes we take health for granted and we don't realize how fucked up shit can get real quick. 

Yeah, for sure. Always ALWAYS be on top of your health. I've had clients who would've been alive today if they paid attention to their health earlier in life. Of course, such as in the case as this, that's not always in their control, unfortunately



I hope I can respond to this more fully later on, but It's so sad to see people suffer like that. I've seen it many times in my life. Manifested in ways very similar to the case you're describing, to others, like alzheimer's, which ends up ravaging it's sufferers physically as well the longer it persists, or people who are so mentally ill that suffer constantly in different ways. All of theses different situations make a case for a assisted suicide. In situation you're describing, would she pass away if not given medication(s)? Are there machines keeping her alive? If yes, would dying without whatever is keeping her alive be prolonged or painful? Assisted suicide is whole other thing, and in this case, sadly, it would absolutely be the best option.



- "If you have the heart of a true winner, you can always get more pissed off than some other asshole."

COKTOE said:
I hope I can respond to this more fully later on, but It's so sad to see people suffer like that. I've seen it many times in my life. Manifested in ways very similar to the case you're describing, to others, like alzheimer's, which ends up ravaging it's sufferers physically as well the longer it persists, or people who are so mentally ill that suffer constantly in different ways. All of theses different situations make a case for a assisted suicide. In situation you're describing, would she pass away if not given medication(s)? Are there machines keeping her alive? If yes, would dying without whatever is keeping her alive be prolonged or painful? Assisted suicide is whole other thing, and in this case, sadly, it would absolutely be the best option.

Machines and hard medication was the only thing keeping her alive. The machines/meds keep her alive but they don't stop the pain anymore. It'll be a painful death either way, but it won't be prolonged if she were taken off both. 



My grandpa had Alzheimer and eventually after a few years lost his ability to swallow. They could have hooked up a feeding tube or whatever to him but family decided it was better to let him pass. I understand because if you can't even swallow then that is a sign that perhaps you are done for this world. I believe it took him a few days to die which probably sucked. He was so far gone that I don't think he suffered that much in the end.



There's never a one size fits all solution to such a problem. In case of severe and/or chronic physical suffering. I'd say euthanasia is a very valid course of action, but of course the family has the last say in this.

In case of a family overextending someone's life who wants to die though... have you ever tried to talk to the parents or are there palliative or psychological caretakers who can talk to the parents?