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Forums - Microsoft Discussion - Conan Exiles devs agree to remove male genitalia slider from Xbox version [April Fools]

Dravenet7 on 01 April 2017

Sandbox survival game Conan Exiles, which famously features a slider for players to adjust how long their john is, finally has a new home on Microsoft’s Xbox One after the developers at Funcom were forced to remove the feature entirely. Sources describe the negotiations as ‘tense’...

Another Microsoft executive, keen to build on the points his colleague had made, outlined the company’s position on male nudity “in the strongest possible terms”...

“We very quickly came around to see their point of view,” explained Conan Exiles Creative Director Joel Bylos... "We’re proud to welcome... "Conan Exiles to the Microsoft family of games"

“The game has amazing open-world gameplay, true hardcore survival mechanics....

read the rest here:

www.polygon.com/2017/3/31/15139969/Conan-dev-states-penis-enlargement-option-not-available-on-xbox

EDIT: April Fools!

This one I was really happy with. I made a couple misteps with the link at first, but I am pleased with the results

 

Last edited by Dravenet7 - on 01 April 2018

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OdinHades on 01 April 2017

Does that mean PC gamers have bigger boners?



Official member of VGC's Nintendo family, approved by the one and only RolStoppable. I feel honored.

Mr Puggsly on 01 April 2017

If the game is good, it can survive without the dick slider.



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mjk45 on 01 April 2017
OdinHades said:
Does that mean PC gamers have bigger boners?

 A better way would be the ability to scan your own  penis into the game. apparently that comes out on april the 1st



Research shows Video games  help make you smarter, so why am I an idiot

SegataSanshiro on 01 April 2017
mjk45 said:
OdinHades said:
Does that mean PC gamers have bigger boners?

 A better way would be the ability to scan your own  penis into the game. apparently that comes out on april the 1st

I don't think they can scan things that small.



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Dravenet7 on 01 April 2017
Mr Puggsly said:
If the game is good, it can survive without the dick slider.

 I have to disagree. Gameplay is meaningless if this one aesthetic is removed. It ruins the game. Also I heard that your gameplay performance is affected by the size of it.

OdinHades said:
Does that mean PC gamers have bigger boners?

Yes. However, it can also technically mean theyhave smaller ones as well.



aLkaLiNE on 01 April 2017

So Xbox users can't hang?



p0isonparadise on 01 April 2017

Yet another reason not to own an Xbox.



dahuman on 01 April 2017

oh no, penises



mjk45 on 01 April 2017
SegataSanshiro said:
mjk45 said:

 A better way would be the ability to scan your own  penis into the game. apparently that comes out on april the 1st

I don't think they can scan things that small.

Electron microscopic scanning works wonders.



Research shows Video games  help make you smarter, so why am I an idiot