The stream of records that the Nintendo switch launch sets just doesn't stop:
In the german village of Bad Sulzuflen, the Nintendo Switch had the best video game console launch of all Nintendo consoles since 2013 among the demographic of blonde one-legged bird-owning transvestites wearing pink shirts with yellow stripes and green trousers in the 22-23 age group.
Mr. Swen Ekaf, manager of the local electronics store: "We seriously didn't expect that. This is a tiny village and this demographic group is rather small and hard to reach, so we were actually expecting to sell not even a unit to that target audience. But then, suddenly, this guy turned up and bought a Nintendo Switch, so the actual sales were more than 1 billion percent higher than we expected. It's absolutely amazing!"

But Mr. Ekaf believes that this is not the only noteworthy fact about the Nintendo Switch launch: "Just about every video game console gets sold out at launch, so the number of launch sales is more or less identical to the number of units that the company provides for launch. So the fact that Nintendo Switch apparently sold more units at launch than other consoles clearly indicates that the company simply provided more hardware units for launch. That is extremely important news, so everyone should flood the internet with hundreds of unique threads whenever some country, village or store sold a Switch unit!"

I get it. Its because of the thing with the thing...

Nice to hear you've got your unit!

This sounds like something you'd hear on Twitter after the NPD numbers come out.

Most successful console ever confirmed.

Someone help me here, did the Wii U and Gamecube sell out first week?

Aw shet! Someone's gonna have to buy Arnold a Burn Heal for that one v.v XD

but seriously, I do love this OP. So oddly specific and amazing

Sounds like something MS would say, except the part about the Switch obviously.

WiiU did not. Not sure about GC.

Don't make me lough out loud at work!