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Forums - General Discussion - Instagram 'removes' post by activist Amber Amour 'live blogging' her rape

only777 said:

Girl kisses guy, gets naked with guy, has shower with guy. Then says she was raped by guy.

Has device that can phone police. Goes on Instagram instead.  

Seems legit.

I'm not sure what you are insinuating.  Having a shower with a friend is not consenting to sex. Most rapes happen when things go too far, it is still rape.
I would not be comfortable calling the south african police either in her position. But that might just be my skewed view of that region of the world.



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Posting on Instagram sounds like a rather questionable thing to do but it's quite common for victims to act irrational after getting raped (e.g. taking a shower before calling the police), which quite frankly is understandable given the circumstances.

I don't know the rules for using Instagram but at first glance it does come off as a silly thing to remove.



SvennoJ said:
only777 said:

Girl kisses guy, gets naked with guy, has shower with guy. Then says she was raped by guy.

Has device that can phone police. Goes on Instagram instead.  

Seems legit.

I'm not sure what you are insinuating.  Having a shower with a friend is not consenting to sex. Most rapes happen when things go too far, it is still rape.
I would not be comfortable calling the south african police either in her position. But that might just be my skewed view of that region of the world.

I agree if she was just trying to take a shower with the guy and he took it to far then it's rape. As a juror good luck trying to convince me to convict that man cause I'm going to need some solid proof.





only777 said:
CosmicSex said:
Yes it sounds dodgy, but if she says she was raped than what really needs to happen is that the police need to investigate. I know too many girls who were actually rapped so lets not act like this isn't a serious issue. Faking rape is also serious as well... because well, its a real issue. Worse yet, most of the rape cases I know of involved girls who were under-aged... which is even more depressing.

Oh of course rape is a very real and awful thing.  But I think people like this ruin it for the many people who are real victims.  No sane person could argue that getting naked and taking a shower with someone isn't giving someone an open invitation for sex.

Doing that then claiming rape is bollocks, and just only makes it harder for the real people who are abused to be taken seriously.

Also to irresponsibility of travelling to South Africa to promote an anti rape campaign, and then not report her own incident to the police.  I mean come on.

 

Saying yes to a shower means yes to a shower. You do not automatically get an invitation for sex just because you take a shower together.



SvennoJ said:
only777 said:

Girl kisses guy, gets naked with guy, has shower with guy. Then says she was raped by guy.

Has device that can phone police. Goes on Instagram instead.  

Seems legit.

I'm not sure what you are insinuating.  Having a shower with a friend is not consenting to sex.

If you're not sure, I'll try to be clearer.  If you kiss someone, then get naked with that person, then take a shower what message does that give out?

Unless she was in a mixed gender swimming pool, I can see no reason why you would get totally naked with someone after having just been kissing them unless sex was about to happen.

Who in their right mind gets naked and showers with someone, and thinks "Oh I hope they don't think that these actions means I want sex"  It's a ridiculous thing to try to defend.  This to me stinks of a publicity grab.



Sony want to make money by selling art, Nintendo want to make money by selling fun, Microsoft want to make money.

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method114 said:
SvennoJ said:
only777 said:

Girl kisses guy, gets naked with guy, has shower with guy. Then says she was raped by guy.

Has device that can phone police. Goes on Instagram instead.  

Seems legit.

I'm not sure what you are insinuating.  Having a shower with a friend is not consenting to sex. Most rapes happen when things go too far, it is still rape.
I would not be comfortable calling the south african police either in her position. But that might just be my skewed view of that region of the world.

I agree if she was just trying to take a shower with the guy and he took it to far then it's rape. As a juror good luck trying to convince me to convict that man cause I'm going to need some solid proof.

Yep, and probably also why she didn't call the police... (if she actually didn't, doesn't say)



John2290 said:
PerturbedKitty said:
i cant believe instagram is trying to silence this woman. another clear example of patriarchal oppression deciding what's acceptable when it comes to a female victim dealing with her trauma.

 


Sacasam is dying you know.

are you saying that i shouldn't be sarcastic? i dont quite understand where youre going with this



SvennoJ said:
only777 said:

Girl kisses guy, gets naked with guy, has shower with guy. Then says she was raped by guy.

Has device that can phone police. Goes on Instagram instead.  

Seems legit.

I'm not sure what you are insinuating.  Having a shower with a friend is not consenting to sex. Most rapes happen when things go too far, it is still rape.
I would not be comfortable calling the south african police either in her position. But that might just be my skewed view of that region of the world.

would you get into a shower naked with someone if you didnt intend to have sex with them? or would your better judgement tell you it isnt a good idea?





SvennoJ said:

Yep, and probably also why she didn't call the police... (if she actually didn't, doesn't say)

 


Looks like she did. From a related article:

 

"My view of the rape kit. Thank you all for being so loving & supportive during this time. Your messages pushed me to take action and to stand up for myself and for all rape survivors. For those who wish to BLAME ME or any other survivor out there, I want you to know that you are the very reason that I am so brutally honest. I could have hidden details. I could have kept some info to myself, but NO. You need to know the truth and to see the reality of the situation. No matter what a person does, it is not an invitation for rape. It doesn't matter if I kissed him. It doesn't matter if he was drunk. It doesn't matter if I said yes to a shower. I never said he could get violent with me. I never said he could make me bleed. I never said he could rape me. But still, that's how the scene went down. I don't need to explain myself but if you're wondering WHY I took a shower with him, it was written in the text, I'd been sick with food poisoning for 2 days and needed to sweat it out. My current place of residence has only cold water (third world problems are real!) and it seemed like a miracle to be offered a hot shower. That's not what he was there for though, because as soon as he got a chance, he threw me to the ground and had his way. Dealing with rape is hard enough but the aftermath is often even more traumatic but I did this for you and I did this for me. The US Embassy and the South African police are super supportive and he may be arrested as soon as this week. Thank you for the love. And for the victim blamers, I send love, peace, and enlightenment to you so that you may be a beacon of light for us, too."



only777 said:
SvennoJ said:

I'm not sure what you are insinuating.  Having a shower with a friend is not consenting to sex.

If you're not sure, I'll try to be clearer.  If you kiss someone, then get naked with that person, then take a shower what message does that give out?

Unless she was in a mixed gender swimming pool, I can see no reason why you would get totally naked with someone after having just been kissing them unless sex was about to happen.

Who in their right mind gets naked and showers with someone, and thinks "Oh I hope they don't think that these actions means I want sex"  It's a ridiculous thing to try to defend.  This to me stinks of a publicity grab.

Well here's the rest of the story

For those who wish to BLAME ME or any other survivor out there, I want you to know that you are the very reason that I am so brutally honest. I could have hidden details. I could have kept some info to myself, but NO. You need to know the truth and to see the reality of the situation. No matter what a person does, it is not an invitation for rape. It doesn't matter if I kissed him. It doesn't matter if he was drunk. It doesn't matter if I said yes to a shower. I never said he could get violent with me. I never said he could make me bleed. I never said he could rape me. But still, that's how the scene went down. I don't need to explain myself but if you're wondering WHY I took a shower with him, it was written in the text, I'd been sick with food poisoning for 2 days and needed to sweat it out. My current place of residence has only cold water (third world problems are real!) and it seemed like a miracle to be offered a hot shower. That's not what he was there for though, because as soon as he got a chance, he threw me to the ground and had his way. Dealing with rape is hard enough but the aftermath is often even more traumatic but I did this for you and I did this for me. The US Embassy and the South African police are super supportive and he may be arrested as soon as this week. Thank you for the love. And for the victim blamers, I send love, peace, and enlightenment to you so that you may be a beacon of light for us, too.

And no, having a shower with a friend is not consent to sex. The message is you trust that friend enough, which was a big error on her part.
And it seems she did go to the police.