Yeah maybe you should turn to religion. 

I know how hard it is to see the way out when your being crushed by depression and you have no initiative to do anything. I can only implore you to find someone who deals with depression and/or sucide prevention. You might think contacting a service like that is over dramtic and you only have thoughts and no real intent to do anything so you'll just though it out but that is a mistake. Suicidal thoughts are extremely draining and you don't need to struggle through it on your own. In a large city like Syndey there are many available options for completely anonymous help.

Reaching out like this on this forum is a start, and I kow it can be hard to take the actual action steps to get this properly evaluated and get help that is needed. One of the most evil twists of depression is that it can make people think they are not worth helping and then fight the battle alone, but this is so untrue! You and the people around you all deserve to at least get clarity in this.

It is true that none of us here can tell you for sure if you are depressed or just in a funk or whatever, but a proffessional can. And if it turns out you have a clinical depression, that knowledge in itself can be an empowerment. 

You're not alone OP. I've struggled with depression in the past, earlier this year's been particularly bad for me but as of this post, it used to be worse. I'm getting better little by little.

I'm not a professional psychiatrist nor do I know you personally. All I can do is wish you luck and tell you that tomorrow is a brighter day.

Depressions can be triggered by the human body itself, just like a tumor or another desease you wouldn't look for the cause in the way you feel or how your life goes.

It happened to me a year ago, but with professional help and meds I got better and I now I'm healthy again, without meds and stuff.
I know in my case the depression was very intense for a few weeks and then it kinda got better pretty quickly, so I guess I was lucky enough that it didn't have any bad consecuences in my life.

But dude, GET HELP. Go to a doctor, try to get an appointment with a psychiatrist. It's the only advice I can give.

This. There's no better advice than this one here, man, believe me.  A good professional can do wonders for you (maybe even without having to use some medicine). I'd also like to say that you should try to find things that you really like to do. It could be hobbies, or a professional job that you like, etc. It helps us developing our personality and defining who we really are, what do we like, etc.

I felt empty during the start of my young adult life too (18~20yrs), but I did exactly this: got some professional help and started doing things I really loved like playing piano, drawing stuff, learning new languages with new groups of people, traveling with friends, etc. It did wonders for me, I'm much much better now.

The hills clinic at kellyville and st john of god at burwood. They're expensive though. $300 a visit. If you can't afford it, try headspace I think its free.

Read my story and take either take my advice or leave it. I hope it helps in some way.

If you want my opinion, it's because you are focusing on your regrets and it's preventing you from moving on and having a happy life. You did fuck up, and  you will NEVER be able to be happy if you don't confront those mistakes. Self-hate isn't a good remedy; instead of reminding yourself of them everyday and beating yourself up over it you need to confront these things and move forward. Man is a forgiving animal. How can you love someone else if you can't even love yourself? You're long overdue for some self-love, man. Countless people have been in the rut and clawed their way out. It's your turn to allow yourself to be loved.

Life sucks if you let it.

High school. Father has terminal brain cancer. Grandma's kidney's fail and Grandpa is in the ER with Pneumonia. One of my best friends, her father had just come back from military endeavors overseas and he shot himself in the head. I went to a lot of funerals in my high school days. First step in the grief process is denial, second is blame; on others or on yourself. Why couldn't I have saved them? Why did I treat them so poorly; why didn't I pay more attention instead of staring at a screen when they just wanted to talk to me? I pushed a lot of people away from me. My grades slipped, I got into drugs and other bad activities, and I refused to believe that people loved me. Eventually I learned that no matter how much I hated myself, people still loved me, and my dead family and friends weren't going to come back. The way you talk about yourself I can tell that you hate yourself for what you've done. The past does not change, but you can shape the future. You've been happy before, you know it's possible! First step is forgiveness. Forgive yourself and let others forgive you. It is a blessed feeling, and trust me, you can and will be loved again.

There are ways to help remedy depressive feelings, and by talking to other people about your feelings you are making steps towards a better future. This post makes you a better person than you were before, please believe me when I say it. Use this forum post as a springboard to vault yourself up that black slope that you previously thought was unscalable. You will be surprised at how strong you really are.

Every human being on this planet is composed of decaying organic matter. Money doesn't set us apart; the only difference between him and I is how we view ourselves and the world around us. Time is money; so don't spend time regretting how you spent time before. Always take time to reflect but know that much self hate is not healthy. You did do some bad things, but you have punished yourself for them long enough. Confront your mistakes, apologize, forgive yourself and others, and you will be able to love yourself and others again. I promise!