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Cobretti2 said:
danasider said:


That right there is kind of scary. Mixed with all the other things, it can lead to you hurting people left and right (like you presumably have to your wife and friends by ousting them). Despite my inclination to judge, I will say it takes courage to admit your faults and know that there's something missing in your life which is why you are seeking out help. However, with this kind of honesty (and your dream job salary), I'd guess talking to a professional is the best option. Like others have said. The problems you have seem to go deeper than the typical "I'm sad because life isn't going my way" syndrome people mistake for depression. Get help, dude.

Actually he said he is a programmer I don't think lack of empathy is really an issue. Most people in technical fields have a lack of emphathy because of the way they process information. They use facts to justify their reasoning without an emotional thought on the consequence it may have on people who don't understand them.  

Him outsing his wife and friends is just an escape mechanism he used to cope with the situation at hand, kind of a reset like a computer to see if things will fix themselves without analysiing the error logs. It is a temp fix but the underlaying issue is always there which eventually surfaces and then the cycle begins again.

I commented on it, because he lists these out as his problems. If he sees it as something wrong with him, who am I to doubt that lack of empathy is an issue? Also, this trait is commonly associated with antipersonality disorder (something a lot of serial killers have). Not saying he has that, as I am no professional. To me, the act of seeking help is a great indicator that he does feel bad deep down and really does want to fix the list of problems. Just saying that lack of empathy is indeed something to worry about, a problem just as he has listed it, himself.

Still, interesting way of looking at it. I, myself am a computer science graduate hoping to get a good programmer job, but I don't see everything with the logic I use to build applications. However, everyone is different.



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Why do you think you pushed your wife away? Your spouse is the strongest rock you have to go through life with, and I think pushing away her was a large mistake.

That said, I would definitely get some help from an actual specialist to root through why you feel the way you do.



"We'll toss the dice however they fall,
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fatslob-:O said:
danasider said:

 

This doesn't make much sense. There is no guarantee that random people on a message board will successfully give emotional and psychological support, either. The reason everyone is saying to seek professional help is that when someone starts talking about suicidal thoughts and a general loss of interest in life, about feeling empty inside and losing connections with people who were important to him, most people don't see that as a slump.

Therapy and drugs aren't always the solution, but they are sometimes. Inaction, however, is never the solution. Instead of derailing the conversation, why don't you give your support in your own way if you don't agree with what others have stated?

I'm not here to exactly give him emotional support or psychological support if that's what your implying. You don't know the full situation either and not even the OP knows the cause of it too ... 

I'm not saying DON'T go seek out for professional help. I just want to know the COMPLETE picture BEFORE we give any recommendations ...

I get where you're coming from. Just seemed to me that when a person describes everything synonomous with depression and possibly manic depression as well as suicidal thoughts, most people are not equipped to give advice to that person unless they are a professional.

I thought that instead of debating why others would point OP towards professional help, you could get more information and then dole out support in your own way. As for me, I don't take suicide or mental disease lightly (not saying you do), and I just don't believe OP is going through a slump from what he's written thus far.



Depression is no joke to anyone who has experienced it.

Ultimately no-one can help you unless you truly want to get better and are willing to work on it yourself. So be honest with yourself (it looks like you've made a good start) about your situation and what you'd like to accomplish.

Reach out to your family/friends for support and seek professional help. At the very least, see a GP and ask for a referral to a specialist.

If you previously had any hobbies, consider starting them up again, or look into something new that interests you. Having a long-term goal that you work towards while working on yourself will be beneficial. Also try and work on smaller projects, things that you can complete in a day or two to start a positive feedback loop of commencing and completing, which may motivate you further.

Don't expect a quick-fix. This will take a long time if you are serious about it.



think-man said:

This is really weird, i actually don't know why im doing this on here. I guess it's because you guys don't know me personally an it's quite hard to talk to friends or family about this, so ive turned to you guys...Strangely.

 

So I need some advice, if you have nothing worth saying don't say it. Don't come here an joke, lets keep it on topic  

 

So im a 25yo male who had been in a relationship from the age of 16 through until quite recently. I got married at 23 to a girl i thought id spend the rest of my life with. She was perfect, very loyal the kind of girl you feel super proud to be with and never have to worry about.

 

For about the last year and a half i started suffering from quite bad depression (i know what youre thinking, depressions a joke) i started questioning my life choices started losing motivation to do anything, had suicidal thoughts etc etc. I refused to get help, i pushed my wife away, i pushed my friends away, i seeked happiness else where. Started trying drugs, made my wife move out, sleeped with other women and all the while i had no idea why, i felt emotionless and numb, everything i had worked for all the trust an loyalty id earnt i just threw away. I didnt even think twice, i was cold and evil. 

 

Im still not better, i fled the country with another women, am still no happier than i was before. Everyday i question my own logic, im so confused but i can't talk to anyone about it. Guess thats why im here, i dunno what to do i just feel so empty, every attempt iv made to seek happiness has just destroyed me even more.

Well maybe the happiness you are looking for is in form spiritual happiness rather then material happiness. Even if you are rich, successful or have a beautiful woman as wife or great children it's not a guarantee you get a happiness  ,  human consist of physical and  psychological (mental and spiritual ) body, even without money you can be the most happy person in the world. You need to look again, and what  is the purpose of your life, you also need to compare how lucky you are compare to most people. You need to find the reason why you live in this world, where will you going, what is the best course to do etc etc. I am a Muslim and my religion teach this and i am not worry of life because life is just a temporary and a step for  life after dead. I am not saying you have to become Muslim, i am just saying you have to find your own reason to live inform of spirituality.



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If it came out of nowhere, like you describe, then I would probably guess it is a chemical imbalance, but whatever the cause is you should definitely seek professional help. Go see a doctor or psychiatrist. They can help you find the cause, whether it be chemical or something else, and help you get better. Don't put it off, schedule and appointment as soon as you can.



God, and His word, is the only real answer. Read the Holy Bible. King James version. It is time tested and trusted. It has all the answers. Pray to God for help in Jesus' name!

Medication for depression can help, but it is no permanent solution. Besides, it sounds like more than just depression to me. You may be under spiritual attack.



Sounds to me, you need to do something to process that guilt.

Eventually, you'll feel the need to apologize for your wife and maybe even the women you slept with. However, it's important to get some other friends and family at your side first.

Do something small and simple you can feel good about. Buy a bunch of groceries and leave them at a food pantry. Adopt a kitten. Grow some flowers.



I predict NX launches in 2017 - not 2016

Get help. That's all I can really say. If I said anything about how you mistreated everyone around you. You'll just feel worse.



fatslob-:O said:
Too many people here are jumping to recommend that the OP seeks professional help without fully knowing the circumstances ...


I guess you are coming from the right place, but this is a very irresponsible post. When someone reaches out like this anonymously and mentions suicidal thought the ONLY sound advice is to seek professional help immidiatly.