Jimmy & Fred: The Epic Tale of Two Average-Weight Twelve Year Old Boys Who Try To Stop A Man Who Calls Himself Sand In The Beach Who Kidnaps Someone That They Know To Play Call of Duty In Front of Them And Nothing Else

 Welcome to the sophisticated story of monsieur Jimmy, and señor Fred. They are average weight, 12-Year-Old boys in 7th grade. The school they attend is named “Middle School Junior High”. This tale consists of not so sophisticated proportions, where Jimmy and Fred travel the world to save the day, from a man who wants to kidnap a child and play Call of Duty with them in the room! …What? That sounds like a waste of time? Well the man is crazy and takes Jimmy and Fred to a foreign country and ties them up, then leaves, so they have to go on an adventure to get back anyway. 

Now it begins

Fred: HI JIMMY!

Jimmy: HI FRED!

Fred: I HATE SCHOOL!

Jimmy: ME TOO FRED!

Fred: WHY ARE WE TALKING LIKE WE ARE CRAZY?!

Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW FRED!

Fred: Jimmy, Jimmy, let’s just talk normal now.

Jimmy: Okay Fred!

Fred: Why do you always say Fred at the end of a sentence? It's kinda annoying.

Jimmy: It's not my fault Fred.

Fred: It is your fault…

Jimmy: Wow Fred, that's a very fast car Fred. Fred, how fast do you think it's going Fred?

Fred: 109 miles per hour, of course

Jimmy: Fred, how did you estimate that so quickly Fred?

Fred: I stole some tool thingy from the cops. I know it’s bad but… Yeah.

Jimmy: Maybe it's the cops trying to take it back from you Fred.

Fred: Jimmy, police don't wear a ski mask, a bikini, and a chocolate bar on the top of their head.

Jimmy: Bikini Fred? That's so hot Fred..

Fred: Jimmy, he's in his late 40's.

Jimmy: To me it looks like a woman in their early 20's Fred. But Fred, how did you guess it so quickly Fred?

Fred: I just stole a couple of things from the NSA. Bad too but… Yeah, I've been stalking that person since late 2035. His name is James Logan Kendall, he has 2 older brothers named Carlos and Justin, and his search history is not something you’d want to see.

1 minute later

Jimmy: Wow Fred! I can't believe he's that far away from us Fred. He's been driving at 109 miles for about 2 minutes, and he STILL hasn't got near us Fred. That makes no sense, because if he was going at that rate he would have traveled about 3.6 miles by now, yet we were able to see him 2 minutes ago! I wonder where he's driving to Fred.

Fred: I checked his Facebook status about 10 minutes ago, and it said "Well, time to kidnap a kid that goes to Starfish Intermediate School. I plan on tying her down on my bed while playing Call of Duty. I know people are going to think I am a creep who is going to do creepy things, but in all honesty, I’m amazing at Call of Duty, but no one recognizes it, so I want someone to witness my COD perfection.

Jimmy: Fred! We have to stop this guy Fred! But how come the police haven't arrested him yet Fred?

Fred: The cops are too busy eating Donuts… Haha, am I right?

Jimmy: …….

Fred: Well, I don’t know why. But just because the cops aren’t doing anything, that doesn’t mean we must stand idle! Nay, we musn’t! Come with me, my comrade! Mi amigo! Let us embark on an endeavor that will last us a lifetime! Why yes, forever and ever! Well, ha, more like forever ENDEAVOR! Am I right? 

Jimmy: …………………….What's his account name Fred?

Fred: Sand in The Beach.

Jimmy: Do you know what his real name is Fred?

Fred: I've been looking into into it since late last year, and I still have no clues as to what his name is. This man must be a genius if he can hide his name so well.

Jimmy: Wait, Fred? How come you've had that NSA thing for over a year, and you haven't been busted yet Fred?

Fred: I dunno.

Jimmy: Okay Fred. Anyways, I think he pulled over next to us a minute ago, and I think he's been listening to our conversation, and think he is going to kidnap us because he knows our plan Fred.

Fred: Well darn tooty smackalish hey y’all howdy frank-a-rooney tally-wakers.