Yo guys,

Normally I visit this website for game stuff but as my environment couldn't help me further I would like to ask you guys for advice. 

Half a year ago I've met this girl and it felt like we were destined for each other. In our relationship we were best lovers, had amazing times and we're best friends, even if we had difficulties or stress moments in our lives. 

I only had an argument once and we solved this (I became a bit attentive because I reacted jealously once but I apapologised for how I reacted and so did she.  

However what I didn't knew was that her previous relationship ended with us getting together and from what she told me was that it were some of her worst years and that she was really glad to have met me. Someone she thought was perfect for her. 

However out of sudden she lost a spark or something because she felt that she didn't had time for herself.anymore and didn't knew who she was. Before we've met each other she wwasnt happy with her life and when we weren't together (because of school, projects at home etc.) her négative way of thinking returns and that made her realized shat die doesn't want me to be unhappy because of her and she wants to have some time for herself. 

I asked to go through this together as I knew what she was feeling, experiences something similar but even worse and I was lucky I had friends helping me. AfTer last week she wanted to separate stating that I was perfect and she still loves me and that all the feelings and everything we did for each other was sincere and real but as she doesn't know what is wrong with here she cannot continue like this. Confusing me in such a way that I became a wreck for a few days.

Here is a quote: "my friends told me that ever we were together I seem less happy and have little time." I asked how the moments together Were and for actually often amazing. (we have also very busy lives and leadership responsibilities which always makes us a bit edgy but toge th er we can forget everythingt)

I must state that her best friend is influencing because she was the first to tell her that my girlfriend only had time for me and not for her anymore. She is also the one that said that we probably wouldn't be able to talk anymore and I had to move on, how though it was. 

However I'm still able to talk to my girlfriend or ex or whatever and we are going to see each other often. 

She is in a state of hesitation and confirms over and over again that she loves me..Only I don't know what to do anymore. Someone who knows us both very well will talk to her very calmly about these "mood" swings because it also is very difficult for me.

I'll see her next week again so I'm curious to know what to do. 

She really loves me, cares of me, thinks all the time of me (what she and others are telling) but there is something wrong. I think it is her best ffriend as she isn't really seeing that many people Beside her and me and her professional team of working on school 

sidenotes: she studies here, far from family, misses her home sometimes and cannot do her hobbies anymore, she will do voluntary work in summer which is a dream coming true for her)

Oh well, found the culprit. Her best friend, it was a stupid decision from my part to ask her for advice of help and explain her the situation. She ruined everything by telling some sensitive stuff and trying to separate us even more, my ex became angry at me out of a sudden. Luckily I was still able to calm her down as she realized that everything I did was because I cared for her. We'll meet up Wednesday for a bit and then I guess it is time to move on.

Oh, well, I've learned at least a lot during this period. The good, the bad, but if somebody doesn't approve then I guess it is very difficult, especially someone that influential. If only girls were a bit easier and less hypocritical/fake against each other.

At least my PS4 will comfort me until I found someone that suits better with me. I just want a nnice, Calm woman that looks out for herself and takes care of others and is someone helpful l. Someone that she was but I have to change my mind a bit after these last few weeks dull of swings and not knowing what to do

I dealt with the friend that cant let go when I started dating the person who would become my wife. The main advantage I had was I caught on to what the "friend" was trying to do before she was able to destroy our relationship by doing what your GFs friend did.

Women initially will ignore the friend but over time they can wear them down and when things are not new anymore they start to listen to them.


This friend is usually the "needy" one and their only reason they have for not liking you is selfishness.

In my case I preempted it by pointing out instances where I saw my GF (at the time) was being manipulated. So when the "friend" started to do some of the things to tear us apart it actually worked in my favor because my GF recognized it and it made her distance herself from that friend.

I remember after two weeks already that she received complaints that she was having less time for her friend and that that particular day we couldn't meet spontanuous. I thought that there was nothing wrong. 

Things actually got weird when we had an argument and that friend asked my GF to loosen up her mind by going to another city, have fun together and stay over without letting me now anything. A day later I saw her and she told me the truth that she left because she felt bad. 

And her friend told me to move on and not bother anymore and because of her my GF/ex became angry. I assume her friend is always saying to not meet up because of things I only told her friends. I should have realized sooner that she was the culprit and ruining the relationship. 

I see my GF/ex Wednesday. Do you think I should approach her and tell her about that and maybe when she cools down in some weeks/months here it out hopefully from her side? (Note: I'll be moving on if things don't change soon)

I suggest letting her mature a bit. Give her lots of space and distance yourself emotionally from her. Be her friend, keep in touch with her but date other women. She's listening to her friend(s) too much and that means she's gullible. She can't think for herself and needs to grow up. You're better off finding a woman who knows herself and what she wants.

I would be honest with her and confront her about her best friend, although try and word it nicely; slip it into the conversation in the middle of some positive comments about happy times (the shit sandwich approach ).

If she really does love you then it shouldn't matter what her friend thinks, but she has to realise that. Think of examples where her best friend has tried to ruin things between you two. Basically, you need to convince her that the problems aren't with either of you two but the influence of external factors. Even if you don't convince her it may be enough that you plant the seed of doubt in her mind and hopefully in the near future realise that her best friend is ruining her relationships.

Yes, that sounds like the best option. I definitely need someone that at least knows what she wants, because else that'll drive me crazy which I don't want anymore

Someone told me: "you have to love yourself first before you can only love but also commit to someone else"  Guess that's true