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Forums - General Discussion - The Romantic Advice Thread

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Goddamn she's elusive. Brought in some candy (and a gag gift for my macroeconomics professor) to give out to weary students as they leave their final exams, which i offered to her, and then kept on going through the crowd, assuming that she would migrate with said crowd to the vicinity of the student lounge where we could talk. Instead she vanished.

As simple as my question is, i do prefer talking in person. Allows the conversation to take wing and fly elsewhere.



Monster Hunter: pissing me off since 2010.

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All signs of doing bad at the tests... So don't only text her with the question of the drinks but also how she made the test.. Not too corney.. Ask in a good way



 

Face the future.. Gamecenter ID: nikkom_nl (oh no he didn't!!) 

:-/. Not going to the happy hour. Seems she might be leaving that night, i'm trying to verify.

Edit: Yep, leaving saturday morning. I wished her a happy holidays (avoiding issues of Christian tradition. She's American by upbringing but Indian by descent), and that's that.

Thread will retire until at least January 6th, unless something unexpected happens tomorrow or something very unexpected happens over break.



Monster Hunter: pissing me off since 2010.

Nooooo.

Tell her that you definitely have to meet up after she comes back.



No troll is too much for me to handle. I rehabilitate trolls, I train people. I am the Troll Whisperer.

Troll_Whisperer said:

Nooooo.

Tell her that you definitely have to meet up after she comes back.

I did say it was a shame we wouldn't have a chance to meet again before break (slim, outside chance that this helps convince her to go to the thing tonight. Hopefully some of her other friends want her to go too. It's not that she can't go, just that she'd prefer to pack. Which i totally understand because i'd do the same thing in her shoes, but people could convince me otherwise if they wanted to see me).

I will broker a post-holidays meeting ASAP in January, though.

Edit: Math says i met her three months ago today, in which time we've had one "date," i got her number, and learned how to carry on a conversation. Still little beyond speculation that she might like me back (though she's had plenty of opportunities to shut this down. I came dangerously close to tipping my hand over Thanksgiving and trying to re-get her number...)



Monster Hunter: pissing me off since 2010.

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Mr Khan said:

Edit: Math says i met her three months ago today, in which time we've had one "date," i got her number, and learned how to carry on a conversation. Still little beyond speculation that she might like me back (though she's had plenty of opportunities to shut this down. I came dangerously close to tipping my hand over Thanksgiving and trying to re-get her number...)


She's also had plenty of opportunities to reciprocate. We don't want you doing all the leg work, all the running around after someone, when it should be equal effort on both parts, despite what NikkoM says is the appropriate response from a girl. Being elusive and dismissive might work for some girls, and it might be the case for your lady friend, however. Or maybe she is genuinely too busy to think about dating? 

Question (perhaps a bit ignorant of me) : she's of Indian descent, could there be a cultural issue to her dating/flirting with guys? I know you said her upbringing is American but I know a few second-generation Indians whose family values are still being pressed upon them.



Highwaystar101 said: trashleg said that if I didn't pay back the money she leant me, she would come round and break my legs... That's why people call her trashleg, because she trashes the legs of the people she loan sharks money to.
trashleg said:
Mr Khan said:

Edit: Math says i met her three months ago today, in which time we've had one "date," i got her number, and learned how to carry on a conversation. Still little beyond speculation that she might like me back (though she's had plenty of opportunities to shut this down. I came dangerously close to tipping my hand over Thanksgiving and trying to re-get her number...)


She's also had plenty of opportunities to reciprocate. We don't want you doing all the leg work, all the running around after someone, when it should be equal effort on both parts, despite what NikkoM says is the appropriate response from a girl. Being elusive and dismissive might work for some girls, and it might be the case for your lady friend, however. Or maybe she is genuinely too busy to think about dating? 

Question (perhaps a bit ignorant of me) : she's of Indian descent, could there be a cultural issue to her dating/flirting with guys? I know you said her upbringing is American but I know a few second-generation Indians whose family values are still being pressed upon them.

Possibly? Or she's just not that social. Like with tonight, opting to make sure she's packed instead of showing up to the party. Sounds like something i would do if i were in her position, me being the less-social person that i am.

The elusiveness is about her being busy, i think. She's generally quite engaged when you actually get a hold of her.

One of the mods is of Indian descent, and has advised me to be cautious of her for that very reason, though he won't really explain what that entails specifically.



Monster Hunter: pissing me off since 2010.

1. She still might be clueless that you like her.. So yes you must do most of the work.. Cause lets face it.. Its going a bit slow

2. Indian male dominate society. even if she is a second generation, its not uncommon that her dad pushes her not to date, concentrate on school, heck she might even be readied in a arranged marriage.. So she might be hesitant.

3. Untill you push for a real date we can speculate a lot but we ain't getting answers



 

Face the future.. Gamecenter ID: nikkom_nl (oh no he didn't!!) 

Read the entire thread and laughed more then I should have. Even though my situation is much worse. Still glad you got the end result of the thread. And now of course the extra part begins.

I asked a girl out at my high school a few years ago.(350 people) And practically the one time we had 1 on 1 I did it and she said "I am not dating right now". Of course I freaked out mentally and that was the end of that. So do not be too sad if she ends up turning you down completely, just start the hunt again.



So i did something rather amoral but also solidly informative:

I'm back on campus for one day after grades were posted to help out at the dean's office, and so found my way into the student mail room and found Her statistics exam.

She got a 56% on the final.

Which, given that a c-grade or less counts as failing in our graduate school, she'll be hard-pressed to "pass" at this point, unless there are filler grades in there somewhere. Not sure how she did on the midterm.

Some possibility that i'll never see her again if that's the case. Either she fails out or loses her financial aid (she had a research assistant job that i know was work-study, and thus contingent on GPA) and walks off.

Which would be a very anticlimactic way to end this thing.

I know i shouldn't have looked! But it does give potentially valuable information.



Monster Hunter: pissing me off since 2010.