That was so long and I had to force myself to read before replying. She's probably been flirting a bit with other guys and likes the attention. Either you let her go and not care or you let her go and make her jealous by showing her what she's missing out on when you are with other girls. Stop having feelings, it makes you weak. Be happy you have an opportunity in life to see a lot of other girls.

Easy as that

I'll tell it to you straight... If she has issues and she doesn't think you are the one she can trust to go and deal with those issues together.. it's not gonna work.  And of course you care about her that she deals with her issues, but she certainly doesn't want to deal them with you.. cause it well may be, like it or not, that YOU are one of her issues.

Yea, that was sort of my biggest concern about us ever even dating again in the future, is who is to say she won't just have some more issues, and once again say she needs to be single to deal with them.

Keep in mind guys, I'm not saying this relationship was something that I for sure wanted to end in marriage, and go on forever. I'm not going to just chase after her forever, or anything of the sort, I just thought we had something pretty good going on, and kind of wish it could have went a little longer to see how it would have developed.

I'll tell you kids a story out of NiKKoM's love life: I dated a girl ,a wonderfull one,  who was pretty close to her dad. The dad suddenly died. Unexpected. She was totally devasted, as was I and her family. the first few days were horrible. depressed, crying, couldn't eat. After a while her brothers and sisters dealt with it.. they were picking up their life.. but she didn't.. She didn't want to talk about it with me and stayed home every day. I wanted to  be with her be she wouldn't let me.. Now own my life was on a collision course with hers.. My job, my social life is still completely the oppossite of being home at 6.. So we had THE talk.. She didn't want me to stop living my life as I was used to so it seemed better to take a step back.. and when she was up to it she would contact me again..

The young me said "OK, if thats how you want to handle it.." cause I couldn't handle the coldness anymore.. Dumbest thing I ever said.. She went from bad to worse.. and her mother staged an intervention and she got a lot of meds to handle it.. We never got back together cause I moved on.. Thinking back about it, I was a fool, I should have dealt the problems with her if we truly loved each other.. Be there for her at her worst, relationship aren't just about the good times.. it's times like these that define it.. and we messed up..  I wasn't there and she didn't trust/love/have faith in me enough to let me in her emotions..

We still see each other from time to time but its not the same as before... while we actually nowadays talk more about our "new" relationships with all the doubts, feelings and issues surrounding them.. we know we failed each other at that time.. This is the time you two defines yours..

Oh I get what you are saying, trust me. I told her during our talk that these are all things that can be dealt with while in a relationship.

There's only about 5% of me that ever sees us getting back together, and even if we did, it would ultimately probably crumble, coming back to this very date where she couldn't deal with her issues while dating me (not to mention there are certain things about her that probably would have had to change over time before I ever considered marrying her...and who knows, maybe they will, maybe they won't...because they annoyed the shit out of me...granted they were mostly things that are true for most young people (even myself before I matured up)).

However, I do still think it would be cool to be friends with her. I'm young, and if I start dating another gal, will our friendship probably fizzle? Yeah, it probably will. And the exact same goes if she starts dating another guy. The reality is, a lot of people aren't comfortable with the idea of the gf/bf hanging out with their ex as a friend. Not only that, but it can certainly be weird, and certain situations have to be avoided (such as I don't know that it is a good idea for us to ever drink together alone again).

But I'm at a place in my life right now that even if this is a temporary friendship that can be fun, I might as well take advantage of the fun while it is there, because you only live once, and there is no reason to just be all debbie downer about it and do nothing fun for a couple of months.

And you made us read that entire story!?!??!

in my experience.. Nope new gf won't find it cool.. Cause in the end they'll ask themself what does the exgf offer what she can't..in every relationship i had and still having its caused me trouble.. I'm a pretty open, sociable guy who likes to talk and have a good time.. I do speak To my ex-gfs from time to time, thankfully i have a lot so i don't see the same person a lot.. And most of the time its one on one.. But the trust of your current girl will break at some point.. As does the friendship between you and your ex, cause why in the World wouldn't you talk to her anymore just because you have a new girlfriend.. Its a no win situation..

especially when one ex tells you her current relationship has been broken cause the dude thought she cheated on him.. With me.. Pro tip: never ever tell that one to your current gf..

The way I see it, her kind of "issues" seems to be a true test of a relationship. Was there a reason that she couldn't figure out her "stuff" through this relationship ? Were you dominating her life that she needed a space ?

There is nothing wrong in having other priorities while you are committed to your partner. I'm not sure how to say this in english, but I always thought that a true relationship is a thing to figure out other things by. Not sure if that make sense.

Well, focus on that CPA exam, seems to be the best thing to do.

Yea, I made you read the entire story. Like I said, me wanting to relationship to continue had more to do with seeing how it could have evolved. The things that annoyed me literally reminded me a LOT of myself only 2 years ago (and she is 2 years younger than me). But the problem will always come to be that she doesn't think she can accomplish her life with me in it. I do find that incredibly odd considering I was extremely open to her going to school for what she wanted, encouraged her to hang out with friends more often, encouraged her to work on her art more like she always said she wanted to, helped her through her depression times quite amazingly (and she will be the first to admit that), and really already helped her improve her life quite significantly (she has also indicated this is the case on multiple occasions, that she is very happy with how I have helped her progress certain parts of her life already, such as helping her have the courage to quit a job she hated and moving to a job she now loves a lot).
But maybe even with me being very open with these things, and never really pushing her, maybe she still felt like it was ultimately me shaping her, and she didn't want that. She wanted it to be her shaping herself.