Its something I have wondered about for a long time. Am I brokenas a  person? is there even such a thing?

Let me start by saying why this thought came about...

I thought to myself that if I could go back in time I would change this, and the person I am today wouldnt be recognisable to the one I am now. Then it was what if I went back 6 years, 7, 10  20 or 25; I would do this different, until it got to the point where I thought I might as well not have been born and I would be the better for it.

Then I thought about my current status, there is no one in my life that if I lost them, I would take a second thought about it. They would be gone, ok, so what is my thought about it, I dont feel remorse, why not, should I?

whats wrong with me? am I broken? I wanted to ask a shrink but im not willing to pay for that as simply, I dont care enough.

Please serious answers only. I get so drawn into things to a deep manner, but at the end of the day I dont care about anything.

You might be a schizoid, look it up to see if that describes you.

my thoughts are random, they really go from one thing to another. I can think about one thing then the next im thinking about things a million miles from it. A thought that always comes back to me (you will think im taking the piss, but im not) what would I be/do/feel if I was a potato. Yes, its random and seems obscene, but whem my mind wanders thats the thought it goes to, as my mind doesnt know the answer.

I have no relationships really, except for family where I dont really feel things towards them, but try to imitate things I think I should feel.

Beyond my job, I dont have much personal interaction. Though I always overthink everything. Like when I talk to someone I think 'what does this person think of me? does he think im weird, different, unnatural?'

I dont think im evil, or want to go out of my way to hurt anyone... I just find it hard or impossible to care for them either

You sound like Dexter from the show Dexter.

Ok, so you don't have strong relationships and you think wild stuff that doesn't make sense? If it was just the relationship part it could be schizoid behavior... but the wild weird stuff youre saying sounds like schizophrenia. But either way go see a psychologist or a psychiatrist, it's better to know how to handle yourself and some forum can't really do that

many times I have thought about doing that, but I dont want to feel different, or show myself as something I shouldnt be. Its not natural, I should care about people and should feel for them... I just dont without having to force myself

is it a good sign atleast that when I think those things it scares me?

Oh and minus the impulse to kill.

Well, let me start off by saying that I know nothing about human psychology. So what you will write is just my opinion.

First off, I don't think you are a complete weirdo, jerk, or whatever you wanna name it. Thinking about 'what would life be IF' things are pretty much normal in my opinion. Sometimes I think about situations and their different outcomes, if I had changed my behaviour prior to that. (Though I have to say the potatoe story is kinda strange )

Also if you don't interact or don't WANT to interact with other people, that's fine too. Some people care more about their relations and other people are a bit of loners. Everything is fine.

And as you said, you are no threat to mankind or similar, you can move on with your life and as long as you are happy with it, I think it's fine.