Yeah they do involve a lot of text. JRPGs aren't generally the pick up and you're pwning noobs kind of game. They work incredibly hard to put context around what you are doing, which inevitably leads to a lot of reading. So if you are into story telling and character development, then JRPGs are your thing. Otherwise, it might be hard to get into them.

lol man you are a genius. No lies. A true genius.

Yes, JRPG:s are boring. If you don't like reading, you should not play RPG:s with 3ds.

I actually DO enjoy those things. I loved The Walking Dead game! LOVED it! I think it's my highest scoring game this gen... BUT, I don't want those things to come between me and the experience, and that's what I kinda felt happened while playing Etrian and Bravely

haha thanks UU happy to share

Fixed.

Also, if you think Fire Emblem is text heavy, I can't imagine what you'd think about games that actually have a lot of text.

I think reading the text is part of the experience in JRPGs. Or at least so I feel. A lot of them take a very visual novel approach to story telling to go in depth as opposed to just telling the story amidst the gameplay. I don't think that kind of approach is for everyone, but I personally like to kick back and read or listen to a lot of dialogue between characters. It also helps if you watch anime because a lot of anime cliches tend to come up in JRPGs, which is really fun for those who appreciate them.

The stories give more meaning to everything and make you grow more attached to the characters and consequently the game itself. A lot of other genres skip out on the story or minimize it and instead focus on gameplay or multiplayer or other stuff, whereas SOME JRPG's--they're not all the same--actually see the story as an important part of the game and take a lot of time to develop characters and let them interact with each other. A lot of people like that, and a lot of people don't.

Personally, the best games for me are usually ones with great experiences overall, e.g. gameplay, story, graphics/presentation (even games with outdated graphics like Earthbound can be presented very well in which case the graphics don't need to be ultra-realistic 3D models rendered in HD for me to appreciate the game), and last but not least, music. A lot of awesome games don't have the crazy detailed adventure "epicness" of JRPG story-telling so whenever I feel like getting some of that, JRPG's are the way to go.

That being said, games can still be amazing even without super intense or complicated plots. Call of Duty stories are usually solid enough to get you through the campaign (even if they don't shock you) and plenty of games are told in a way where they don't overflood you with text or details but still manage to get you invested in the story or riled up when there's some crazy plot twist. And some games like ones in the Legend of Zelda and Super Mario series don't impress me at all, and a lot of racing games have like, no story, similar to how fighting games' arcade modes are pretty much just a series of showdowns where tbh most people probably don't want to be bothered with a story anyway.

tl;dr IMO JRPGs are great if you want to grow attached to a game and want a little bit of everything (assuming you're playing a good one anyway). Music, gameplay, graphics, presentation, story, the only thing they usually lack is great multiplayer, haha, though that's not to say they don't ever have them but it's often local multiplayer and not a huge aspect of the game. XP

Most JRPGs do have slow starts and have to do world building and character establishing in them to start. I love the genre so I know when ever I get a new one I need a good five hour block to start playing one. Acquired taste so I understand if you want a quick pick up and play feeling.

I would say that given your taste, you would be better of getting something like the last story on wii, or tales of xillia/ni no kuni on ps3. Persona 4 golden and Ys celceta on the vita are also likely to please you.
You got alot of interesting choices on the psp, but you will run into exposition. On the 3DS there arent many choices without exposition. Tales of the abyss is good, but the skits arent voiced, otherwise your only choice are the zelda games, but those dont feature much on storyline.

Beeing a xeno fan, i strongly advise you to look at xenosaga episode 3 and Xenogears. Xenogears has alot of exposition but its also the most amazing game i have ever played.