You say she isn't even apologetic. Then you shoul try to understand whether she doesn't care about you or she simply doesn't consider what she did a betrayal at all. In the latter case you simply have different values and you could consider accepting it and forgiving her. In the former case, if you still care for her, consider forgiving her if she'll finally understand she did wrong and apologizes. Otherwise just ditch her, but don't lose faith in the whole humankind, there will always be friends that will never betray you.

Einsam_Delphin said: Fifaguy360 said: Einsam_Delphin said: Fifaguy360 said: I think having high expectations in humans is dangerous because they're bound to let you down sooner or later. Keep expectations lower so you don't get burned and do your own thing. I really don't think simply being there for a friend is a high expectation at all. Infact it's part of what being a friend is, well a true friend anyways. Nowadays it seems people throw around the term friend too loosely. Heck I even do it, though it's only to not upset my "friends." That's the part that got the OP. She is my true friend because I helped her in need so I expected her to be there for me. If we remove these expectations of casual friend, true friend, family then there is no let down and you've mentally prepared yourself for the worst without relying on people to intervene. Expectations or not, a jerk move is still a jerk move. Just cause you expected X jerk move, that doesn't make it any less hurtful. A person is either your friend or they're not. You can expect whatever out of them, but that's not what determines whether they're a friend or not. It's their actions, how they treat you, etc., that determines this. The OPer seems to have thought that being a friend to someone makes them your friend, but that's clearly not always the case. Of course we don't know the details, but I'm willing to bet the OP's friend never really was a true friend, despite that likely being what they called each other. All expectations do is let you see, in this case, the pain coming beforehand, and possibly let you avoid it, but if it hits, it'll hurt all the same. Hope all this made sense!

If there was an expectation to receive help from her and she declined, it would hurt more than if she didn't expect the help from her to begin with because you wouldn't be let down by her.

beast-n-beauty-queen said: i helped her because i wanted too...i don't think she owes me anything...but i thought i deserved better then what i got from her.

Yeah, you helped her because you wanted to, and that was really nice of you, but not everyone is like that. After that I'd say you expected the same in return (not unreasonable). The thing is you can't expect it from just anyone or you'll risk feeling betrayed, like right now. She probably didn't consider you to be a true friend, even though your were one to her. I agree with Fifaguy360 about keeping your expectations in check. I'll again say that you should be more careful who you consider to be your close friends.

Also, toughen up a little! It's not the end of the world. Not even close :)

beast-n-beauty-queen said: miz1q2w3e said: Aw, I'm sorry to hear that, beast-n-beauty-queen. You need to be more careful who you consider to be your close friends. Grouping just anyone into that category only gets you in situations like this. Apparently, you trusted this person and they let you down. People do that sometimes. You can still be regular, non-close friends. At least you know how that person really feels about you. Though, one thing I noticed from your OP is that you did a lot for her (introducing her to friends, studies...etc.), and for this you feel that she owes you something (everything?). Remember that in the end, she is an individual and you shouldn't expect her to just be your lackey forever just because of some stuff you did for her. Oh, and cheer up :) In time it'll all seem like nothing. i helped her because i wanted too...i don't think she owes me anything...but i thought i deserved better then what i got from her.

Can you atleast tell us if she ever even did anything for you? If she couldn't do something as simple as being there for you, then I can only imagine she never did anything at all for you, and so you should have never been her friend in the first place, especially since you have other friends already. I'm only still with my "friends" because I'm human unfortunately, so I craves human contacts no matter their quality. Tis part of the reason why I'm on here hehe.

Fifaguy360 said: Einsam_Delphin said: Fifaguy360 said: Einsam_Delphin said: Fifaguy360 said: I think having high expectations in humans is dangerous because they're bound to let you down sooner or later. Keep expectations lower so you don't get burned and do your own thing. I really don't think simply being there for a friend is a high expectation at all. Infact it's part of what being a friend is, well a true friend anyways. Nowadays it seems people throw around the term friend too loosely. Heck I even do it, though it's only to not upset my "friends." That's the part that got the OP. She is my true friend because I helped her in need so I expected her to be there for me. If we remove these expectations of casual friend, true friend, family then there is no let down and you've mentally prepared yourself for the worst without relying on people to intervene. Expectations or not, a jerk move is still a jerk move. Just cause you expected X jerk move, that doesn't make it any less hurtful. A person is either your friend or they're not. You can expect whatever out of them, but that's not what determines whether they're a friend or not. It's their actions, how they treat you, etc., that determines this. The OPer seems to have thought that being a friend to someone makes them your friend, but that's clearly not always the case. Of course we don't know the details, but I'm willing to bet the OP's friend never really was a true friend, despite that likely being what they called each other. All expectations do is let you see, in this case, the pain coming beforehand, and possibly let you avoid it, but if it hits, it'll hurt all the same. Hope all this made sense! If there was an expectation to receive help from her and she declined, it would hurt more than if she didn't expect the help from her to begin with because you wouldn't be let down by her.

I guess that's true, but who wouldn't expect a friend to be a friend? I think being there for your friend is not the hardest thing in the world so it's perfectly reasonable to expect it. The problem is that the term friend is being thrown around too loosely these days. People who aren't really another's friends are being deemed as such.
And we've just went back to my first post. Why does that always seem to happen lol.

Insomniac?

Also, I say it's actually better to have high standards n expectations. Don't let just anyone be your friend, only the best of the best. You know what they say, don't settle for less afterall! Even if this means you only have one friend, I'd say that's far better than having a bunch of fake n bad friends. That's how I've been rolling, and while I haven't made a new friend (or rather, "friend") in years, I also haven't had anymore fallouts, betrayals, disappointments, etc. which is more than worth it. Heck, if I could, I'd ditch all my current "friends" for just one good n solid friend.

DamnTastic said: Insomniac?

huh?

DucksUnlimited said: Put it in her butt.

I just wanted to restate what has already been said and makes the most sense out of this thread.

Soonerman said: DucksUnlimited said: Put it in her butt. I just wanted to restate what has already been said and makes the most sense out of this thread.

Word.