What's going on, VGChartz!
For those that don't know me, my name is Tim "D21" Lewis. I've spent several years on this site and many of the members past and present felt like family to me. I'm the proud author of such threads as
Naznatips and d21lewis in love: http://gamrconnect.vgchartz.com/thread.php?id=89468
The ballad of d21's cell phone: http://gamrconnect.vgchartz.com/thread.php?id=115306
and other more personal threads that I really wish I hadn't even made.
Anyway, in the real world, I'm a fairly likeable guy. I grew up with a love for video games, a moral code that I've broken time and time again due to temptation, had a great family with whom I was finally content (or at least that's how I remember it), and some issues that I can't even describe. It's like people love me but I just prefer to be alone. You wouldn't be able to tell by looking at me because I look so happy and awesome in real life and I'm not vain or a douche or anything. I was just much more comfortable hiding behind a screen posting online than I was around real people.
I made a lot of threads and posts about my crazy girlfriend over the years because...well, she was crazy. The thing is, she was also an awesome girlfriend and mother to my child and maybe--just maybe--I gave her a reason to be crazy. So, when I ended my whorish ways in 2009, the seeds for my destruction were planted and in 2013, I finally got what was coming to me. Yeah, it happens to everybody and the best thing one can do is "Man up" and get over it. The thing is, I'm not everybody. I am me. I'm the guy who was terrified of females in school, wants to make everybody happy, got used repeatedly by different woman after finally losing his virginity at the ripe old age of 21, and still believes in fairy tales. How the hell did a guy like me survive as a cop for almost a decade is beyond me.
Right now, I sit here in a lonely house, once again being used by whomever will show me attention, and crying almost daily. I'm crying now as I type this and I don't even know why. I'll just say that I had a good girlfriend who kept me safe from people that would take advantage of me and I ignored her so that I could play video games, stay home when she wanted to go places with me, talked bad about her behind her back when she had my best interests at heart, and spent way too much time with people I will never meet. Now, I don't know what tomorrow will hold.
I could write a book about what I've been through in the past few months. How somebody who loved me suddenly turned on me and did things to purposely hurt me. The horrors of alcoholism--yes, I drink daily now. Hadn't drank since 2009 before this--, etc. Just know that the member known as d21lewis, despite my appearance and social standing, is nothing more than a scared and confused child trying to play grown up. You'd think it would be easy but goddam.
The point of all of this? Does every thing have to have a point? I'll just say that everything you have is not guaranteed. Material things aren't important. Take the time for the people in your lives that really care about you. And for fuck's sake, buy the Wii U. It's dying out there!
Missed talking with you guys. And know that who I am is not who I used to be. Enough about me and my first world problems. Peace.
And now, to hit that submit button.
*hits submit*
*instantly regrets it*
