The true history of the current generation of video games
misterxmediaJune 26th, 2012
Repost from march 2011.
Somewhere in 2002-2003…
Microsoft: And so… The first Xbox was pirated to shreds. We gotta do the next Xbox ASAP!
Sony: Cool! We screwed Sega and now Xbox. They have to bring the next gen sooner. This is in our favor – we'll make our PS3 later and it will be more powerful.
Microsoft: Sony will make it’s PS3 later and more powerful. We have to make it smart, to have better graphics eventually. We gotta go to ATI and ask what they can do.
ATI: Well… What can we offer… We are designing unified architecture to screw Nvidia. Game developers beg for such. We can polish it with you, all game devs will be thankful to you. Choose it or lose it.
Microsoft: But Sony says their Cell will crush us and we are done with profit. They will have the entire market.
ATI: LOL WHAT? Their idea to process graphics on CPU is from stone age. The world have chosen the other way. Game devs do want no pain.
Microsoft: That's decided then. Give us unified architecture. Let's hope this will work
Sony: So… MS agreed with ATI on the new unified architecture for graphics processor. We cannot make it on Cell either, this way we'll have no game devs. Let's go to Nvidia and have a talk.
Nvidia: We have been waiting for you, Sony. Bloody MS! See what we have… ATI making unified architecture, we also started the similar.
Sony: This is exactly what we need. We want less pain for our developers with balanced system loading.
Nvidia: (calling US President asking if they can sell a perspective tech to a Japanese company. The President asking the world leaders, they refused because game market is too good for propaganda, it must remain in the US hands).
Nvidia: Oh no! It's still underdeveloped. You can take the previous generation, we'll just tune it a bit. It will be similar to ATI, just a little harder. Your devs are no noobies. Multiplatform will be a little worse, though…. Very little... This little…ok?
Sony: OK. Cell will give us additional power. We will put a faster memory. Some pain in the ass but we'll make it. Our method looks even better on paper. PS3 to be designed for RSX.
Microsoft: ATI, PS3 looks stronger on paper, even without the unified architecture. What can we make to win now?
ATI: Have thee no fear! We can bring you something special in order to punch Nvidia. Here you have the tessellation unit, EDRAM, don't forget GPGPU – Sony cannot use it because of Cell. Even their kamikaze will not program for Cell + GPGPU and separated memory.
Microsoft: Hell yes! Let's hope...
ATI: You just make sure devkits are convenient for developers at low level.
Sony: Wait, wait. Our spies informed about the plans of ATI and MS. Nvidia, you've got to help us!
Nvidia:.....
Sony: Nooooo....!! Stop designing PS3. We need another GPU. We need another GPU!
Nvidia:.... We'd be glad, but we have none. If you want you can wait till 2007. But even that one will not have tessellation. It was ATI who made it. We don't want to copy them.
Sony: OK! Let's prepare for the worst. May be not everything is so bad. May be we'll not fail too much in the next generation. We have Bluray. As for tessellation – please do not put it into PC video cards. We don't want 3D engines tailored for tessellation. This way we'll fail the multiplatform as well.
Somewhere in late 2004....
Microsoft: Here you are, our new Xbox. See, developers – it's all for your sake, this is a way to make money. We'll take the game market from Japs!
Developers: Hooray!! Long live American technologies!! Hooray!!
Sony: Freaking bastards you are. You cannot overcome Sony brand. Consumer, do not believe them! Next gen comes when we say.
Consumers: No, we don't believe them. You are our god and king, Sony. You never failed us, we are thankful for the PS2.
Sony: What if we cheat a little? It will not be worse but can be an intrigue....
Microsoft: Sony smart... Spreading lies all over. But we'll make amends. The truth is ours and consumers will choose graphics. We tamed the developers as well. We'll stop the money flow for Sony. We'll make such a competition for them; they will not dare investing as much money as ours. Let’s start it.
Sony: Our lovely consumer! See how powerful PS will be. See the Killzone 2 and Motorstorm trailers. You want to wait for them, don't you?
The year 2005 is over…
Microsoft: Phase I. Next gen came. Gears of War coming!
Consumers: Wow! The graphics! WoW! Xbox Live! I'm gonna buy Xbox and then sell it when PS comes. Forgive me Sony. I'm a consumer, not a fanboy.
PS3 launched.
Consumers: Well. Not the time to sell my Xbox. PS developers need some time to learn PS hardware. It is expensive as well...
Sony: Come one, buy it! We'll uncover the potential soon!
The year 2006 over...
Consumers: PS3 still sucks.
Sony: Just wait for the Killzone 2!
Consumers: Ok, ok, waiting. You also make PSN work like Xbox Live.
Microsoft: It's good for us. Wile Sony looking for the potential, our studios developing first-wave nice-looking games, making money and preparing for the next generation – it's when the games will be so realistic. Yes, it will cost us. There should be many good studios by that time and they will need money. You should start design the next generation, ATI, you do you hear us?
ATI: Of course we hear. We'll crush the Japs with our Bulldozer. You just make the hardware more reliable.
Microsoft: We'll try. It was a big fail with RROD. This should never happen again or we lose.
2007 is over.
Sony: Uncharted is out!
Consumers: Wor, look great! But Xbox is almost the same. And Live is better. Only RROD is the trouble.
Sony: RROD, RROD! It will burn your houses and send you to hell because you went to an evil MS side.
Microsoft: We need to release the second wave. Sony is pushing PS3 so hard. We need to start X-Engine development, so that to answer Sony in a couple years. RROD not bothering so much anymore. Xbox Live makes profit.
Sony: MS is not showing their cards. They'd better make it, otherwise we don't know what to show to our stockholders.
Microsoft: Gears of War 2. Boom!
2008 is over.
Consumers: Well… It's OK. But Sony will screw you soon.
Microsoft: Some Jewish guys came, brought 3D camera with them. We should take these. We need some share of the casual game market. This will extend the Xbox's life. And X-Engine will be shown sometime later.
Sony: One more step and we will catch up! Here you are: Uncharted, Killzone 2, free PSN and Home. What else do you need our customers? We've got 20 studios to feed. And these bloody motion controllers. Only expenses!
Consumers: OK, OK – we see the potential being uncovered. So Sony was telling truth. Just wait a little more and I’ll switch to PS3 completely.
Microsoft: Let's Sony try hard while we will do the Kinect. Also, the multiplatform rules and is in our favour! We have sent X-Engine to developers. They started developing Wave 3 games. They are making new engines, learning. But Sony telling too much lies. We are tired of this
Sony: Shut up, MS. You shouldn't come to game market from the very beginning. You'd better see and learn how to do brainwash – may be you'll need it next gen.
2009 is over
Sony: Finally, caught up. We have the public opinion. Everyone believes Xbox sucks. We should use this and make some money as soon as possible. MS is making us waste money… What should we do for next-gen? Cell or not Cell? – this is the question. Where can we get money for next gen? So much money wasted. Damned NVidia.
Microsoft: Here you are – the Kinect! And developers are satisfied with X-Engine. DVD is small for long games, though. On the other hand – long does not necessarily mean interesting. We had to make some sacrifice back in 2003.
Sony: Next year is ours! Xbox down. Hardcore gamers, come here. We have 3D, Xbox has no games. PS3 is the Power. We need the money for next gen or we will lose.
2010 is over.
Microsoft: We should finish with Sony. We have to show our cards. We'll uncover some more potential this year. In the next gen we will destroy them completely.
Sony: But we have 20 studios and so many exclusives. Consumers believe in us. Cell, 3D, Bluray!!!
Microsoft: We'll see… We have everything under control. Try harder, fix the situation. We almost have the next gen ready. What about you? :)
Sony: We've been hacked. So we have to expedite PS4. But no money to win MS. Anybody knows what should we do next gen to win Xbox? Japanese technologies – where are you?
Microsoft:
E3 2011 passed
Consumers: Sony?? WTF??? You lie to us about PS3 power?!
Sony: Here you've got price cut! Just be with us! The exclusives! The Cell! The BluRay!!
Microsoft:
http://misterxmedia.livejournal.com/72461.html
