I'll go first:

Is there an aiport nearby? Or is that just my heart taking off?

Do you work at subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.

'Are you from Ireland? Because my penis is Dublin'

'Your like a champion bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you'

How you doin?

What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math; add some bed, subtract some clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

Do you have a twin sister ?
-No
Then you must be the most beautiful woman in the world


Do you own a jersey ?
-No, why?
Cuz i need your name and number


What has 42 teeth and can hold back The Incredible Hulk?
-What?
My zipper


How's life?
-Good.What about yours /
Im talking to it right now.


Me: Are you Google?
Girl: Yes.
Me: You can stop searching now, you found me.

are you free tonight? no? *thumb though wallet* how much?

My love for you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.

That's much better than Ross's pick up lines like "I like 8 year old boys" or "You know the smell in propane? They put that in".