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Forums - General Discussion - Father in rural Germany finds his young son likes to wear dresses; does the same

kain_kusanagi said:

The article says he is teaching his kid gender equality. It's a terrible movement that has parents given their kids gender neutral names and hiding their gender from family and friends.

Our species has two sexes for a reason. We have similar but different bodies. Gender roles aren't bad by nature. If something isn't fair then fight it, but don't try to change human nature.

If men really want to wear a skirt they can wear a perfectly acceptable kilt. If a kilt isn't enough than it's not the dress they like, it's the girly aesthetic.

 

Genders roles aren't necessarily good or necessary by nature either, though.  And why should he fight his son and make him do something he doesn't want to do just so he doesn't have to fight completely arbitrary gender definitions like girls are the ones that wear dresses?  If the choice is between his son being comfortable and society being comfortable I think he made the right choice.

Do you mean that he likes looking like a girl or he likes the aesthetic of the dress itself?  Because I don't think wearing a kilt is all that similar to the dress he's wearing in the picture so I could see it not being the same to him.  



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what i just realized, i knew few lesbians and they did wear men clothes, had short hair and bla and nobody really cared. sure it was little bit unfamiliar for many but yeah, nothing more. if little girls wear boys shirts and their mother would also do it, it would be also unfamiliar for many but nothing more. but if a boy wears dresses and also his father people think he doesn't teach his son what differentiates the man from a woman?

to be honest, someone who is doing so much for his kid even when people laugh about him then, i'm pretty sure that such a guy teaches his son much more about life and everything and also about the difference between a man and a woman than most parents in our society do.



His son may be get bullied at school though because he believes that how he dresses is normal. That may be the only bad thing that'll come out of this. However, he is one amazing dad.



radishhead said:

- If this happened to you as parent what would you do? Would you endorse it like this father did?

My kids will be themselves, as long as they don't hurt anyone, they can do what they please. I will never directly tell my kids yes or no to anything, because that is not how I was raised. Kids need knowledge, not coruption.

- Is it our "duty" as parents to make sure our child knows what society deems as normal and abnormal?

Yes, we can not avoid society so kids must be taught what is and is not the "right" way. However, it should be presented in a way that they understand this is not the defenitive way of life. They can be who they are and they will be supported by family.

- Is forcing gender roles a lesser evil than letting your son get used to a choice he doesn't yet understand the consequences of?

There are reprocusions in every choice we make in life. You deal with the choices you make, and that goes beyond this rediculous social crap.  Sadly, we live in a world of hate, so this is just another issue we face in current society. Love, respect, and understanding has to start somewhere, and that is how my children will be raised.

This does not mean my kids will turn out loving, repectful, and understanding. People are people, and we are all wired different. They best we can do, is try to live by the morals we were born with, and make our best choices with the knowledge we obtain.





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Torillian said:
ganoncrotch said:
Torillian said:
that's a pretty cool thing for the dad to do for his son.

Whether or not he should be enforcing societal norms is a debate but I don't think "he'll get bullied unless you make him stop" is a reasonable argument. Lots of people including myself got bullied quite a lot for getting good grades and looking nerdy, I wouldn't want my parents to tell me to dumb myself down and get a tan just to appease a bunch of assholes in high school.


I got a fair bit of that at school too and like I agree with you I didn't change because of it just maybe had slightly fewer mates than most at school but still got on with it.... but at the same time I think there is a small difference between me being at school with a gameboy in my pocket and rathering sitting down lvling my team for the elite 4 during school gym time and saying that it's perfectly fine to where a dress as a growing man.

People can try and shield their children all they want both at home and now going into schools fairly heavily that everyone is a winner and we're all equal, but the sad fact is this just isn't the case, some people come out of the school system now with their attendence awards and 8th place medals and are just dumped into a world where they are not really winners, but rather diluded losers. It's just going to make the shock worse and worse the more people try to convince their child that everyone in the world is a nice person with an open mind to everything.


Yeah one is more severe, but part of this whole sexual identity rights movement is taking steps like this in my mind.  Not forcing your kid to do what you think is right to protect them or because you don't like it.  

Disagree with your second paragraph though, just because the world isn't filled with nice people with an open mind doesn't mean his father should follow that trend.  If anything a father should be the most nice and open to their children's likes and dislikes.  Even if the world thinks he's crazy he should be able to take comfort in the idea that his dad is behind him no matter what he decides.  

I didn't mean to say the father should come down on him and tell the kid not to do it, no no I absolutely think everyone in the whole world in entitled to do whatever they want in whatever walk of life they want. I do however think the father should let the kid know, of what he will face in the world, keep in mind my father to this day still sees a tv remote as science gone too far, but when I was nerding about in my room collecting games and playing warcraft online he said a few times like that he didn't agree that it was how someone should be all the time but he still loved seeing how happy I was and how much enjoyment I got from what I was doing, now managed to find myself a gaming nerdy girl, get married and we have a house filled with all the stuff we love, and I still have my loving family always supporting everything we do. You can perfectly support someones way of life without imatating them to show that it is the normal. That can border on mockery if your heart truely into what you are doing and you are just imatating the behavour of your child so they feel normal.



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I think this must be one of the sweetest things I have seen in a long time. Hats off to the dad.



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NintendoPie said:
There would/will be many real-life problems this kid would have to face if his dad didn't teach him in some way about genders. Like which was said before, certain things about a gender shouldn't be swap-able.

Many kids like to wear their mom's clothes or play with girly things while they were younger, but if the dad/mom doesn't talk to him about "gender-specific" things then there will be obvious problems.

My parents never talked to me about gender specific things and I turned out just fine. I was jsut given gender specific toys and played with them. Like, soldiers, lego, guns, cars, trains etc..

Modern society has just grown to fucking sensitive to what people say.  Too much political correctness BS. Just let the kid be a damn kid, and let them learn on their own. No one is going to hold your hand at school or work.  This is evident in many rich kids who had everything done for them since the day they were born. They don't know how to think on their own.



 

 

Torillian said:
kain_kusanagi said:

The article says he is teaching his kid gender equality. It's a terrible movement that has parents given their kids gender neutral names and hiding their gender from family and friends.

Our species has two sexes for a reason. We have similar but different bodies. Gender roles aren't bad by nature. If something isn't fair then fight it, but don't try to change human nature.

If men really want to wear a skirt they can wear a perfectly acceptable kilt. If a kilt isn't enough than it's not the dress they like, it's the girly aesthetic.

 

Genders roles aren't necessarily good or necessary by nature either, though.  And why should he fight his son and make him do something he doesn't want to do just so he doesn't have to fight completely arbitrary gender definitions like girls are the ones that wear dresses?  If the choice is between his son being comfortable and society being comfortable I think he made the right choice.

Do you mean that he likes looking like a girl or he likes the aesthetic of the dress itself?  Because I don't think wearing a kilt is all that similar to the dress he's wearing in the picture so I could see it not being the same to him.  

Ok, I'll explain what I meant.

It is my opinion that men who wear woman's clothing don't do so because of the practicality of the dress. They do so because it makes them feel feminine. Shorts and kilts give just as much air flow in hot weather as well as freadom of movement. Given the option of wearing shorts or kilts and choosing to wear a woman's dress means it's not the shape of the cloth the man likes, he likes the female association.

I'm not talking about the boy in the article. He's too young to know better.



Aww... I think it's nice, in a weird sort of way :p



If this happened to me I would sit my son down and explain to him the way of the world. Bottom line though I would get him to stop doing that especially at an age where a child still hasn't developed.