There it is folks. The sequel to the second best selling game of all time (excluding all bundled sales, Mario Kart Wii should be second to only Pokemon Red/Blue/Green). This game is by many considered the main reason for buying their 3DS's and has received a great reception by critics, as shown by their 85/100 score on Metacritic. It is also often credited as the savior of the Nintendo 3DS following the massive hardware and software sales after release, and rightfully so; Finally there was some actual value available for the system apart from the mandatory 3D Mario and certain ports from previous Nintendo systems.
One may wonder though: Were we blinded by the shitty softwares surrounding this title? I don't know, but I do think that this game has flaws. Plenty of them, actually. Some of them are more justified than others, but I will let you be the judge of that. Anyway, here Me go:
1. The blue shells are horribly overpowered
Do you remember the good old days when a blue shell's striking power was equal to red shells? Mario Kart 64 comes to mind at first, but if you think about it the blue shell in pretty much any Mario Kart title did not actually take away that much more time than a red one. And you did, thankfully, always skyrocket, making you land on the very same spot where your launch just took place. Mario Kart 7 is a different story though. Not only do you have to wait ridiculously long until you're even able to accelerate, but sometimes the explosion makes you go backwards! Or even push you sideways, away from the entire track, MAKING YOU LOSE SIX COINS IN THE PROCESS!!!
2. The worst possible character roster
I remember back when I played Mario Kart Double Dash!! and thought to myself "What the fuck is this shit???" after I unlocked Petey Piranha and King Boo. Well, as it turns out Nintendo managed to impress me once again with this title. Let's go through the unlockable characters one by one:
Daisy - Should obviously have been there to begin with. The only reason that she was unlockable was the lack of unlockable characters. (Well, and to make sure that the Super Mario Kart characters were the only characters from start, which is nothing more than a horribly poor attempt at causing nostalgasms.)
Wario - Same as Daisy. Wario is not exactly a surprise nowadays.
Rosalina - Why add this character when there's already two freakin' princesses in the game? To make more females buy it, of course. And I'm sure all three of them are happy over this decision to this day.
Metal Mario - Just Nintendo being lazy here: "Why create a new character model when there's the possibility of borrowing existing ones?"
Shy Guy - "Hmm... We still need that one shitty character for the bastards who plays our game without buying it. Let's hit two birds with one stone by making him appear as a 'new' character!"
Honey Queen - Same as Rosalina.
Wiggler - There is a decent character, at last. But I know a few guys who are way more worthy of the spot. (I still miss you dearly Waluigi!!)
Lakitu - Same as metal Mario. Bowser Jr. deserved this spot.
Mii - Because we are all interested in how you look in real life when we play Mario Kart.
3. The game is called "Mario Kart 7"
Ever since... well... ever, Mario Kart titles has always included their console's name in one way or another:
Super Mario Kart
Mario Kart 64
Mario Kart DS
Mario Kart Wii
(The other two doesn't count because they are horrible)
So, why wouldn't they keep this tradition alive? Well, firstly, so that their consumers won't get even more confused following the 3DS =/= DS disaster, but then there's the most important part: To justify the existence of "Lucky Seven". Why create new advanced items when there's the ability to create a "super recycler"? Two birds- one stone, remember?
4. They removed lots of awesome features from Mario Kart DS
Remember the Mission mode where you could go for three stars and defeat bosses? Remember the single player Versus mode? Remember Baloon Battle and Shine Runners where the winners had the epic honor of being the last man standing? Remember customizing your own emblems? Remember Boo??? Good for you, because they're all gone!!
5. Vehicle customization practically doesn't matter
Because no matter what vehicle you choose, it is ultimately the items that decides the winner. Both online and, more notably, locally. The CPU will catch you up no matter how you drive (apart from certain shortcuts) and online players will blast your ass full of blue shells if you have the guts to outrun them.
6. There is no snaking ability
Most people praise the fact that snaking was deleted in the latest handheld Mario Kart title, but there is a plain and simple reason to that: They all had no idea of how to use it, or simply sucked at it. Most people are losers, so obviously this was a welcomed change. I, however, miss outrunning all the poor bastards (and sometimes I even had to pretend that I didn't know how to snake to stop them from quitting, good times). Now, the most tactical/lucky item users are the winners rather than the most experienced players.
7. The game is rushed
- Low amount of characters/character models
- Only two new items
- Certain poor looking maps *coughDaisyCruisercough*
- Easily accessible shortcuts (which are finally being rectified)
- Lack of innovation (the coins are recycled, gliding is overrated and under-water driving is the same as on land except it lacks basic logic)
These are all possible results of the game being rushed. Doesn't look pretty, huh?
I could go on, but seven points should be enough to make my point clear.
