SmokedHostage said: Contemplating my own suicide. Coming to terms with my pan-sexuality. Thinking about whether or not the western world or world in general will be around in the next ten years. Chronic headaches are getting worse and more recently my ability to concentrate and read are deteriorating. Worrying whether or not I have a brain tumor, extensive brain damage or have had a stroke in my sleep. My general motivation to live disappearing. Long term loneliness taking its toll.

 For some reason ever since I was in highschool that idea crossed my mind a million times, I even thought about how to make a "good" goodbye letter for my family. I had a very difficult childhood so I guess that was just the result of all the things I went thru. At some point I was so obsessed with that idea, that I spent a good amount of hours looking for info online, watching testimonials, documentaries, programs pretty much anything related with it. I have to say that I never really attempted to commit suicide though, it was always present in my mind but nothing else. Several years ago (8 or 7 I dunno) me and my brother found my dad just before he was going to hang himself, it was a very very scary situation, he reacted inmediately after he saw my brother and denied everything afterwards, but we are pretty sure of what we saw. My mom still doesnt know about it, we never really talked about it. I know my dad is better now, he divorced my mom and now has a new family, which is great btw, and somehow I dont really think about suicide as I used to. The feeling is somehow still present sometimes, but I try to keep living and doing things I like (which is anoter topic btw, I guess I am really fucked up ;9).  

highwaystar101 said: I become depressed quite easily and it causes me to lose motivation and confidence (although I try hard not to show it, but some people still see through it). Luckily my girlfriend is a doctor and going into psychiatry. She's very good at putting things into perspective and saying the right thing. I try not to take advantage of her in this way though. My problem is that good things don't affect my mood for very long, but bad things affect my mood for days/weeks/months. Bad memory retention is what makes me sad. The thing is, the worst things in my life are so small they would barely register on most people's 'emotional radars', I'm just good at blowing them out of proportion and dwelling on them.

I used to be just like that,I would get sad over some things that didn't matter and they would really bother me.

But then I started working out,joined the schools wrestling teams,track team too.I hardly had any friends last year but this year I make new friends everyweek.Also if going to the gym and you feel shy,don't worry in about a week you won't care and you'll probably make new friends before you know it.Also if you are a little weak at first don't worry you'll get there.Everybody in my family notices how I lost weight,idk how old you are but you are still young man.

I am actually bummed, not sure if depressed that I can never seem to decide on clothes or shoes to buy. So I end up wearing the same rag tag clothes for a long time!

I used to be depressed all the time. Even in elementary school I was often overcome with depression. It wasn't until University where I discovered mindfulness. It's the process of becoming self-aware and thinking about thinking.

One of the most significant changes was reflecting on which values I hold and live my life. It is not simply listing values and choosing some, but understanding yourself and recognizing the aspects of your life that are enjoyable.

Ever since then every day has been the happiest day of my life.

I find a lot of myself in all you.

My heart goes out to you all.

AFFLICTION said: I find a lot of myself in all you. My heart goes out to you all.

Thank you for the kind gesture!

 

I was ran over today, and did not sue. That was my chance!

spurgeonryan said: AFFLICTION said: I find a lot of myself in all you. My heart goes out to you all. Thank you for the kind gesture!   I was ran over today, and did not sue. That was my chance!

I hope you are ok my friend. Why not? You will need all the money you can get for therapy after playing all those N64 games, at least finger/wrist therapy ;) 

spurgeonryan said: AFFLICTION said: I find a lot of myself in all you. My heart goes out to you all. Thank you for the kind gesture!   I was ran over today, and did not sue. That was my chance!

Yea I heard about that, weird stuff. But I'm glad you came out of it unscathed

menx64 said: spurgeonryan said: AFFLICTION said: I find a lot of myself in all you. My heart goes out to you all. Thank you for the kind gesture!   I was ran over today, and did not sue. That was my chance! I hope you are ok my friend. Why not? You will need all the money you can get for therapy after playing all those N64 games, at least finger/wrist therapy ;)

Here's the thread detailing poor spurge's run in with the driver from hell!

http://gamrconnect.vgchartz.com/thread.php?id=142157&page=1