LivingMetal, reading your comments on this site (rather paying attention to them) lately has been an exercise in frustration for me. We have very different viewpoints on some key things and its obvious we're not supports of like consoles. Lately every time I see your name show up on a thread I brace for a point-of-view that will make me either cringe or steam. I hasn't been pleasant.
But, during moments like this, it is hopefully a reminder to all of us that on the other side of these psuedonyms and ridiculous opinions are HUMAN BEINGS with hopes, fears, joys, loves ... and pain. I'm very sorry to hear you going through this difficult period. 3 days from now will be 7 years from when I lost my mom and just last night I had one of those "she's still alive" dreams that come with less frequency now but still find a way to salt up a wound that will never heal completely. Always a tough time of year because of it. Hopefully your story will yield a more positive memory for this time of year. One of recovery instead of one of loss. Hang in there.