Question: Am I going to hell?
A long time ago, I went to visit my aunt who once had to be hospitalized for a soup kitchen addiction. She was a kind old bag, but she was a little... 'off' sometimes (if you know what I mean...). And what I mean by that is that she'd get into terrible rages that could last for hours on end. When she was in these 'rages', she'd demand bewildering things like lap dances, a Valve game on the ps3, and frosted flacks without the frost!
Her and I were playing a game of strip poker one night when all of the sudden she freaked out! Started talking about drowning stuff or somethin' like that... I was justifiably scared out of my trousers at this crazy bitch who sounded like she wanted to strap my neck to a ceiling rope and kick the chair out from under me! But as the nephew, it was my duty to calm her down and keep her from being sent to the slammer. So I did what any normal person would do and asked her what the fuck was her problem!?
After she stopped chewing on a bottle of Flintstones vitamins, I was given a response to my question. Started running her crazy mouth off about drownedin' stuff again... Horrified, I inquired further. Apparently, she wanted me to drowned a litter of kittens in front of her... Holy fuck
But being the good nephew that I was... NO! I wasn't gonna do squat! I ran out of the house with all my might and went to the local coffee shop where I spend my days faping to Porn. She couldn't find me there. As I started my session, IDK, but it just didn't feel right ya know? I was worried that my aunt would kill herself as I was gone. I mean, she was in a crazy rage talking about drowned kittens afterall...
So I made my way back and took a little stop off at the pound. Found a couple of cuties and bought them all for a total of $105. When I got home sweet home, I found my aunt drawing a set of tits on the wall with a sharpie marker. Oh lordy... still crazy as shit. She looked at me and saw that I had a box of kittens in my hand. Excitedly, she demanded that I get a vat of water and drowned them. With a look of sorrow, I said okay.
We made a setup in the living room. She got ready on the couch while I got the tub of water and a potato sack. Gotta say I felt really bad...I mean, I was gonna kill a litter of kittens... Whatever though, sometimes you just gotta do things for no reason. Anyways, when the setup was ready, I placed each kitten gently into the sack and in they went. I got alot of movement at first but after a minuet, all was calm. I then looked to my aunt, she was asleep. Oh well, time to clean up this crime against nature. I removed the sack from the water and something amazing happened... one of the kittens still lived!
I was shocked... How could this little creature live against all odds? Was this a sign from god not to kill this cute little critter? A sign that this kitten could someday be imperative to saving humanity from destruction? Possibly, but that didn't stop me from proceeding to place it back in the bag and drowned it a second time.
The next mourning when I came to, my aunt was sitting on the floor sobbing and confused at the horrible sight she was witnessing. I told her she ordered me the night previously to drowned a litter of kittens. She kicked me out of the house and said to never return. Well, back to the coffee shop!!!
So guys, am I going to hell?
